Lucy?" I raise my head in alarm. "Lucy!" I turn to the familiar voice. "There you are!" I feel warm arms engulf me, pulling me, soothing me.639Please respect copyright.PENANAxemKDie26N
"Ray…" I choke out. Ray releases me and looks at my tear-stained face. He takes my hand and slips the blade from between my fingers, his eyes never leaving mine.639Please respect copyright.PENANAel4tXSO66Y
"Lucy," his voice is broken. "Please tell me you didn't."639Please respect copyright.PENANAXGGMwu1Y9J
"I-I didn't." I take a deep, shaky breath. "But I almost did." He turns his head and shuts his eyes.639Please respect copyright.PENANAeoKEY2s6u1
"Promise me something, Lucy." He looks back at me. "Promise me that you'll never cut again, OK?" I nod. "If you ever fall back to this place again, call me over. I'll help you, Lucy." He grabs my hands. "Promise me."639Please respect copyright.PENANARJTX8Kq9lX
"I promise, Ray." I whisper, tears leaking out of my eyes. He pulls me into a tight hug, breathing out a sigh of relief. He kisses the top of my head and then moves back…639Please respect copyright.PENANAyPpwJm6tnu
639Please respect copyright.PENANA4owC9kcXZc
I open my eyes and stare at my wall, but it's not there.639Please respect copyright.PENANArxvWThgxxM
My blanket is hanging off my bed, my clothes are strewn across the floor, my hair is sticking to my wet cheeks and the window is shut, enclosing me in darkness.639Please respect copyright.PENANA6e1RREirew
I feel nothing but pain and agony. A dark cloud is filling my head, making me seem heavy.639Please respect copyright.PENANADaeDyJGIFv
Fake.639Please respect copyright.PENANAXcD3k50JJi
Not myself.639Please respect copyright.PENANALcY1Gaqoyp
The silver blade is shining, piercing the darkness with an evil light. It taunts me, challenges me, dares me to touch it, to pick it up and to use it.639Please respect copyright.PENANAyYGmAEYL9j
Oh, Ray. Where are you?!639Please respect copyright.PENANAoqlJLfccMo
"I'm going somewhere with my parents and we won't be back until Friday. Call me if you need anything, OK?"639Please respect copyright.PENANAfgB3tHQ4Yg
Help me, Ray! Help me!639Please respect copyright.PENANAZqyRKuKLan
I punch in his number and put the phone to my ear.639Please respect copyright.PENANAERSjDm0dz0
Voice mail.639Please respect copyright.PENANA5r7Mu2r9Vi
I try again.639Please respect copyright.PENANAtSkqVwKo61
No answer.639Please respect copyright.PENANAvaxsFFs6zB
I frantically pull at my hair, curling into a ball. I shut my eyes but a few lone tears escape. I shake my head, trying to pull myself out of my despair and trying, somehow, to pull myself together. I'm falling apart, breaking down.639Please respect copyright.PENANA9NkETMEkQG
I can't. I must stay strong.639Please respect copyright.PENANAKAhFwJBm6Z
My tears come faster.639Please respect copyright.PENANAKjPAMOtNUM
Keep it together, Lucy. Keep it together.639Please respect copyright.PENANAMjvumJqtkx
"Ahh!" I scream, pushing myself back. I lose my balance and fall off my bed, crashing to the floor. I cover my face with my hands, shaking, sobbing.639Please respect copyright.PENANA3sIYuyIQDx
"Ray!" I cry out. Please…639Please respect copyright.PENANA0zNTa6NMmW
My hands fall to my sides, my hair a knotted mess. I stare silently at the ceiling.639Please respect copyright.PENANA9xg1O18yU3
Is it really that high?639Please respect copyright.PENANAUBIq1ZEwvw
I curl up on my side, staring into the black nothingness under my bed.639Please respect copyright.PENANAQ6wzV95q3l
I must move… I need to move.639Please respect copyright.PENANAfxZVjQ56OE
I eye the door.639Please respect copyright.PENANA3c4XcAWxqi
I will myself to sit up.639Please respect copyright.PENANAnIdeRSbqnH
My room turns upside down and goes blurry, my vision faltering. I still and wait for the dizziness to pass.639Please respect copyright.PENANAzfw6jVdjoa
I blink once – twice- and then sit on my knees.639Please respect copyright.PENANACk2aIXUn11
I focus on the door.639Please respect copyright.PENANADeNLPz47eR
I crawl forward.639Please respect copyright.PENANAoCFWBreJ0o
I need to get there.639Please respect copyright.PENANAgVfEusGLqr
I slowly try to stand up. I advance, pushing one leg forward and then the other, and repeat.639Please respect copyright.PENANAJsVOQdPUHh
My legs are wobbly, broken.639Please respect copyright.PENANAKgcwBDaSKE
Just a few more feet…639Please respect copyright.PENANAbMQF0u8dVd
I reach out my hand and take another step-639Please respect copyright.PENANAfvajpgf1O7
and collapse to the ground.639Please respect copyright.PENANAMqJFrMZroC
"No…" I try to stand again, but I can't get up.639Please respect copyright.PENANAYrlb5MRlg2
I grab at my bed sheet, trying to pull myself up. I feel around, grabbing at anything I possibly can. I grasp closer to my blanket and freeze as I touch something cold. Sharp.639Please respect copyright.PENANA09Yw3V7GnK
I suck in a breath.639Please respect copyright.PENANApxXBylT724
A chill of excitement and fear shoots up my arm, down my spine and spreads through my body.639Please respect copyright.PENANAABlAIKvejC
I bring the blade closer to me, another thrill flowing inside me.639Please respect copyright.PENANA7ZWr9OIJZ0
Just once.639Please respect copyright.PENANAfLwcVDD16B
"Promise me."639Please respect copyright.PENANAeFiRfpYXKB
"I promise, Ray."639Please respect copyright.PENANA2Vr6beMnM6
No, I can't. I promised him.639Please respect copyright.PENANADfuJ8hd5pr
But it'll feel so good…639Please respect copyright.PENANA8MAtpoMVEk
I study the blade, turning it around in my hands.639Please respect copyright.PENANAY5j6JbdqaI
It'll be quick. Just one cut.639Please respect copyright.PENANAQ6jCvBdYKJ
It'll heal quickly, faster than normally.639Please respect copyright.PENANAJEmJ1jc36N
Now's your chance, Ray… I look at the door, waiting for him to walk through and stop me.639Please respect copyright.PENANA78U4oXkgbU
Anytime, now…639Please respect copyright.PENANAuhP2Atdxne
My vision blurs. I feel drops on my skin.639Please respect copyright.PENANAsz80uK49yf
Is it raining?639Please respect copyright.PENANA6qkbmWajW4
No, that’s impossible.639Please respect copyright.PENANAF0oQlbr9Zx
I can't see.639Please respect copyright.PENANA9A5j6S80dR
I try to take breath but I choke up, a heavy weight sitting on my chest. A rock is stuck in my throat.639Please respect copyright.PENANA6Mg8sRmg4F
I can't breathe.639Please respect copyright.PENANARCN4BRL2AK
I thrash around, clawing at my throat. I make a gurgling sound, trying to swallow.639Please respect copyright.PENANAFQRj9XrmxP
What's poking my leg…?639Please respect copyright.PENANA9UdCHuI85j
I look down, choking on air, and spot the blade.639Please respect copyright.PENANAwOksOPt2ex
How did it get there?639Please respect copyright.PENANASypJZPZUjB
I take it and hold it closely to myself.639Please respect copyright.PENANAVheSojagMd
How can something so evil look so beautiful?639Please respect copyright.PENANAVlBbYiV5m7
I bring it down to my wrist and shiver.639Please respect copyright.PENANAUG7EkIqhv1
So cold.639Please respect copyright.PENANAZBFOuLvzad
I press down and drive it across my skin.639Please respect copyright.PENANAqdH1Ijrgi5
I let out a shaky breath that I didn't know I was holding. My blood drips warm and red down my arm.639Please respect copyright.PENANAR0ukdIKV04
I take another breath.639Please respect copyright.PENANAMiUOv7VWYk
Another.639Please respect copyright.PENANAMMPOLiLne4
My breathing comes harder, faster.639Please respect copyright.PENANAkKTLM9jVV7
I slide the blade and cut again, slicing more of my skin. I gasp, my arm stinging. A groan escapes my lips as the pain takes its place, the sick pleasure mixing in.639Please respect copyright.PENANAeC0ZbaWq46
I lean back, resting my head against my bed.639Please respect copyright.PENANAnwFvTLOfhA
I shut my eyes tightly.639Please respect copyright.PENANAqVh5zvJah5
I should not have done that.
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Billy-Rose
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Young Adult
Short Story
Angst
Last updated: Aug 29, 2016
Total word count: 938
Total reading time: 4 Minutes
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