『靖,對不起。』41Please respect copyright.PENANAugBGD41mX4
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一直到了星期五,她終於發來了一個短訊。看到的時候,我竟然冷笑。我們的感情似乎就得跟這三個字拉上關係。有想過要問她去哪裡了,做了什麼,為什麼這麼久才來短訊;最後我什麼也沒問。要說的,自然就會說。41Please respect copyright.PENANAKQMMyYMfso
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『沒關係。』撒了個謊。41Please respect copyright.PENANArxNHDNrfno
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其時我正在家,寫著畢業論文的大綱。這已是第二稿;第一稿是被康教授重重的打了回頭。「這種沒深度的研究不該出自我打令的手。」哎!我開始懷疑自己是過分樂觀;實在我又怎可能高攀,以為自己能與康教授或姓劉那學姐相提並論呢?「你可以妄自菲薄,但不能懷疑我的眼光。」康教授極其堅定地說。無從駁斥。41Please respect copyright.PENANA7XGhjMQrcO
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『我們再到澳門玩吧!這次我會黏著你,不再跑掉?』41Please respect copyright.PENANAKr910gBwzH
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我再度冷笑。41Please respect copyright.PENANArsFzvwGwPh
若那天隨著她跑掉後,我們的愛情死掉了,今天就是它的頭七。或許,就該放手;不是嗎?我又何苦要再逼令自己去相信,我們可以發展下去?何苦要待感情深了,會痛了,才去結束本不該發生的所謂愛情?其實,像我這樣追求低調生活的人,能根深柢固地樂觀嗎?所謂樂觀,都是虛構的,為掩蓋悲觀而存在的。41Please respect copyright.PENANAV0De1QiUNd
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『我要趕paper,不去了!』41Please respect copyright.PENANApyePHT5ujF
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然後,我便掛上耳機,完全投入於論文中。直到肚子餓了,天黑了,腦袋累了,才稍稍作息。沒有新的短訊。反倒是康教授發來了電郵,說要請我吃火鍋。你相信嗎?我他媽的不相信,這卻真實地發生了!我毫不猶豫便往赴會。41Please respect copyright.PENANAJ4RoiPqqPc
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「這麼乖巧?我不真那麼恐怖,害你連女友都扔到一邊去了吧!」笑著,吃了一小口蝦丸。她是連吃個火鍋都那麼優雅,沒看見一桌火鍋配料的話,大概以為她在吃懷石料理。這是人嗎這!?41Please respect copyright.PENANAMfstYiqgxu
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「我不怕丟自己的臉,也怕丢你的。」但卻很丟臉地狂吃肥牛。很燥的好不好?41Please respect copyright.PENANAPgOIqNdhmn
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「尹大小姐會不會找我晦氣呀?」41Please respect copyright.PENANABpjpuTnFFB
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「可能呀!出入小心點!」像是黑幫電影裡的對白。突然就想起娘娘。紅的,他說。41Please respect copyright.PENANAKnXBakh9YX
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「那我會說那不關我的事。是你找我來當擋箭牌。」笑著,喝著檸檬茶。41Please respect copyright.PENANAsRAdlwpTNq
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「真想不到康教授你是那種有事先走的人喔!」41Please respect copyright.PENANAedQbsDXxjt
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「哈。不是有事先走,只是說事實。難道不是嗎?」41Please respect copyright.PENANA4aRl1NWZuJ
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無語。大概吧!我嘆了一口氣,感到一切繼續循這麽詭異的方向走,我是越來越感到力不從心。才認識若曦多少天,我便弄成這樣?看來,就算是現在來分手,我也會被傷害得挺深的。41Please respect copyright.PENANAwbE2C0MOVO
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「你真想太多了!小朋友。」41Please respect copyright.PENANAqCO99NkefN
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「難道不去想嗎?」41Please respect copyright.PENANAlJa1dgIW9h
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「愛情,其實很脆弱,經不起考驗。經得起考驗的,是努力保護這脆弱愛情的堅定意志。你才把她喚作你的女人多少天,便失卻維繫下去的意志?然後用一切看來理所當然的理由去掩飾和美化自己這不堪一擊的決心?那只是替醜陋人性作一次沒水準的整容手術罷了!」41Please respect copyright.PENANAndbytPSWuR
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「意志?」41Please respect copyright.PENANABMzL6h5ni9
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「不堪一擊的意志。沒承諾支撐的意志。同性間的戀情,比異性間的更需要發自內心的承諾去支撐意志。你確信自己能做到嗎?」41Please respect copyright.PENANAO5FvDDrDBP
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我的頭很痛,卻像是為了長大而痛著般,值得。41Please respect copyright.PENANAbE6HywbKIg