Rain brings me comfort. I've always enjoyed the rain. The sound is soothing and the feeling of it on my skin lifts weights on my shoulders. I remember good rainy days when the sun came through the clouds and a rainbow peeked through. I remember eating with my family and looking through a rainy afternoon window. These memories resurface every time the rain is sent my way. 109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIRRvhBLI2
I know many people don't like the rain but I do. I get excited anytime I see it on the forecast. Ironically, rain can make me feel productive and I feel more like doing chores on a rainy day. Rain has always meant these things to me but there was a time in my life that cemented what rain means to me. Rain is firmly linked with God in my mind. Every time it rains my mind is brought back immediately to God. I'm not saying rain is God that's sacrilegious, I am saying that God has sent rain to me and it holds a special place in my heart.109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYQm48o93z
When I was in high school I faced a great period of loneliness in my life. Not from wanting a man, I really wasn't interested in dating at the time. Rather I had gone through a time in my life when my friends were far and few in between. My nightly prayers seemed to always end with me pleading to God for just one friend. I bargained with Him that I didn't need a whole crew of people, and I didn't need a circ;e or click. I told the Lord I just wanted one friend who would back me up and be there for me. The people in my school had bullied me for various reasons but mainly because I said what was on my mind. Children are most liked if they are agreeable and I was not. Many adults thought I was a know it all or stuck-up child. To my credit I never thought as such, I simply wanted to be honest with what I thought. 109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXa6G73oKh
We talk about children in pretty egregious ways. They don't understand the social world they've been put in but we dislike them for not behaving as we think they should. We want them to be creative but when they are honest we don't like the words that come out of their mouth. There were days when I thought every adult disliked me and there were days I was proven right. I wish every child was given the same amount of love regardless of their personality but that is just not the case. I looked different and I was a loudmouth and that made me hard to like by teachers, adults, and peers. When you say you don't want to play the game everyone else does you aren't agreeable. The same characteristics that make heroes admirable such as integrity, morality, and individuality make having friends almost impossible as a child. 109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Mkv7IoKvH
This is a strong stance to some but think about it. We tell kids to stand up for what is right but we can't stand a snitch. that's a double standard and we teach it to our children. We tell children to be honest but if they say they disagree with us it's disrespectful and they don't know their place. We tell children to be themselves but if their personality is disagreeable we think they need to change. There's a lack of personal application to the standard ideology that made my childhood difficult. I didn't understand tact. I was trying to be honest but I didn't understand how my delivery was perceived and that made me few friends. 109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGH9KFFs1A
I remember the day I discovered that people I held as friends and defended adamantly were speaking ill of me behind my back. It hurt. I tell people if you tend to lie that it makes you doubt everyone else, and that's because you know how easy it is to lie. This jaded my view on people. I couldn't trust my friends' words and I felt very alone. I prayed every night with tears soaking my pillow, barely able to lift my eyes open. I would get angry at God. Why couldn't He make me like everyone else? I was trying to be nice, I loved other people deeply, and all I got was betrail. The same people whose birthdays I marked in my calendar and prepared for with anticipation hated my guts. The same people who I baked cookies for, and lent a shoulder to cry on when they needed it was all too happy to bring me to tears to feel better about themselves. As much as I tried to take personal responsibility and became progressive about apologizing and making amends: I found my friends took advantage of that to lay the blame for their disappointment on me.109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINDe4UzqQI
So I prayed. I prayed to the only one who I knew wouldn't leave me or talk about me behind my back. He kept my secrets and He listened every time I asked for a friend. He sent the rain. When I cried at night He sent the rain. I always kept my bed near a window. I get hot easily and instead of a fan, I would crack my window open. I remember every time I cried out to God in those dark moments when I thought I had no one God sent rain. I would cry and pray then I would open my window. As the rain fell I calmed down. It comforted me like a hug. No one knew what I was going through. I tend to not discuss how I feel especially back then. I wanted to be strong and didn't want a pity friend. It was in those times that the lord spoke to me.109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UNAWmBbnC
I had cried and cried and the Lord spoke just simple words to me. He said, "You keep asking for just one friend. One person who will listen to you and stay by your side. One person who loves you and will never lie to you. One person who likes you. Well, I Am that one person. I have always listened to you and I always will. If you only want one friend I want to be in that spot."109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPlUYQ2g2t
After that, I never felt that same crippling loneliness. I knew exactly what He meant and I treated Him as such. I didn't get that friend all through high school. I have friends now but no one takes that spot for me. God is the one who hears first how I'm feeling. When I had people curse me and degrade my calling God heard first. God was the person I talked to to sort it all out. When I had friends change on me and accuse me God's the one who sorted it all out in my heart. There are pains and cares that no one will ever hear except God. That is His privilege. I'm still not a very liked person but that's ok. I'd rather God love me than have the world love me. When I feel loneliness creep up on me that's my indicator that God wants to spend time with me. Who am I to deny my dearest friend some quality time? It's my love language and I know it's one of His.109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3sCRQgIZ4
So when it rains I'm reminded of my friend every drop falls on my heart and I'm reminded of how good God is. I believe God does this for everyone. I had a friend who God sent the wind. She would feel the warm wind brush across her palms and God would be so present. I know on my worst days God will send me rain. I've had a sudden sprinkle of rain on the sunniest of days. God is beyond a forecast. What does God do for you? I know it's something because God is big enough to have a special relationship with all of us. It's impossible for me to have two best friends. I just don't have the capacity to do so, but God does. He has a unique relationship with all of us. That's how I know He will give you the same thing. A unique gift that only means something to you.109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8FPvfmBAN
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