To be honest I don't enjoy coffee. I wish I did! After all, I did work at a coffee shop for some time. I love the smell of coffee. Its rich warm fragrance makes me happy and it smells like it would taste nice. Unfortunately, when I try to drink it it's too bitter. I like it with sugar creamer and added flavors but then It kind of ceases to be "coffee" at that point. Tea however is great.
There's an endless list of what can qualify as tea. I own a maple apple cinnamon tea that I adore. There's also the bonus that no matter what I put in my tea I won't be judged. Because tea is just so different there's no way of labeling it as not tea. One could even make the argument that coffee is just another kind of tea, but that's hearsay to some so I'll stop now. I got into tea ironically because I can't drink coffee. I was tired of people judging me and wanted something cozy and warm on a cool rainy day.
There's a social aspect to drinking tea for me. I find the most enjoyment when I have company over. My first bag of earl grey tea was purchased for a friend. Rather content with black tea, I only branched out because my friend liked earl grey. So one could say that she is really at fault for my addiction. No, I can only blame myself, twenty other boxes of tea can not be explained away. I learned to appreciate the differences between tea. I thought I would hate chia because someone once gave me a Starbucks chai that I hated. Then I made a chai at home and that stuff is amazing.
Sometimes it's not that we don't like something but rather the deliverance of the subject matter that we don't particularly like. I don't care for peppermint tea when it's cold, but make it hot and add some vanilla bean syrup to it and I love it. Lemon zinger is a great tea with a little bit of honey but if I over-steep it It's bitter and pungent to me. Another joy I have with tea is trying to find a specific tea that each of my friends will love. I have one friend that loves earl grey tea with a little bit of honey. Another of my friends loves the spiced red dragon chai. Each person loves a different tea and finding the one that matches them the best is one of my favorite hobbies. Seeing them smile because I made something specifically crafted for them brings me joy.
I believe people are this way. There's always someone that you think you can't get along with but put them in the right situation. Have them over for some tea, go shopping with them, and you notice their mood brightens up. Some people may seem stuffy but if you can put aside your interests for a minute and get serious with them on a topic they like, all of a sudden I find them super intriguing. Not everybody is the same, even the best of my friends who I love dearly get overstepped.
Sometimes the stress of life starts to boil over. They don't even realize sometimes how long they've been in the water until they become bitter. Great friends can lash out at you for just trying to enjoy their company. This isn't bad, they just need to recover and have some space to do so. Not everything gets along with all people. Some teas, like black and green teas, are very versatile and almost any flavor works with them. Other teas, like grey and peppermint, need certain things to function. This doesn't make one tea better than the other. It just means I have to be more aware. Some people don't like too many jokes, or they have a history that requires a certain amount of caution when speaking to them. I still enjoy their company, I just can't touch on subjects that are delicate like that.
There's no judgment for coffee drinkers to me. Everyone is free to like their beverage of choice. Just don't pick at someone else's. The outlying exception is those who choose to drink bleach. PSA. please stop your friend from drinking bleach. #Realfreindsdon'tletotherfreindsdrinkbleach. I find the issue that I had with coffee drinkers, in the beginning, is that the coffee didn't count as coffee unless I drank it a certain way. People can be this way too. Unless they look the part or make the same jokes as me, we tend to not like them. Maybe someone is a little too forward with their opinions. They all of the sudden "can't read the room and are uncharismatic." Maybe someone makes too many jokes, "they're never serious and superficial." Perhaps they're too serious, "They need to lighten up."
I find that it's even harder for people to like a tea that's burned them before. Maybe the tea got too hot and burnt the drinker. Instead of waiting for it to cool down we dump it out and get something cold. Lately, I've been noticing a trend in social behavior. Instead of trying to talk it out, we tell our friends that we need space. Maybe it's through a text or phone call, but we don't talk it out with them. We shove our arguments at them, push the blame on them, and later then isolate them from our lives. Often that space becomes what it was intended to be in the beginning, a nonconfrontational way to cut someone out of our lives. We can value our comfort more than the relationship we have with someone. The problem I find with this is that you can only do this to so many friends before you are down to none. Sure if I have a really good friend they are going to reach out to me after a while. That starts a cycle of abuse I've found. The person who starts the isolation will do it again because the real issue never got resolved. Even a good friend can only take so much blame and abuse. I don't encourage staying in these situations. If you try to make it work over and over again without any effort for conversation and change on the other end it's not worth your time.
I don't know who has to hear this but you don't have to like coffee, you don't have to like tea. If no matter how you've tried it a certain beverage is just nasty you don't have to drink it. Don't turn your nose to those who do but you most certainly don't have to partake in a beverage that is pungent to you. If someone is just not working out with you, you don't have to hang out with them. Don't talk badly about them. Don't try and convince all their friends they shouldn't either. Don't tell your friends that the person is awful. Just don't hang out with them. There is no point in trying to continue if someone is unwilling to meet you halfway after multiple attempts to reach an agreement. Let them do their own thing and stop reaching out. The relationship will gradually lose its strength and you can move on.
Now, something I like about tea that is different than coffee is that if the water is boiling you've gone too far for most teas. Teas are incredibly delicate and steep at best at different temperatures. Rolling boils are too hot for most teas. Coffee has a different steeping and blooming process that I can't even begin to understand. The best advice I can give is that if the pot is boiling get your hand out of it. Not all relationships are the same some; people bring real abuse into our lives either through gaslighting, narcissism, physical abuse, or other types of serious trauma. Do not try and make these situations work. The pot is boiling: you need to step aside and let it cool down. Bring in someone else to judge the situation if you still desire to make it work. Understand the difference between offense and abuse. They are not the same. Abuse has no excuse. Offense is an issue to work through.
If you like coffee, this is by no means an attack against you. I'm very proud of those who can handle black coffee, they are not to be messed with. The ability to handle the harsh reality of life with no sugarcoating is admirable. I often love people who can just say it like it is. There is value to the coffee drinkers in our life. Don't cut them out. They won't always tell you what you want to hear, but they will tell you what you need to hear. The words may hurt, and the coffee may be bitter, but it's good for us. Some of the most life-changing words ever spoken to me were harsh and cutting words said by people who weren't fond of me. They helped me see myself outside of rose-colored perception. We can't grow if we are only ever told what we want to hear.
So, coffee or tea? Does it matter? I don't know, but I do like both. If everyone looks away while I make my coffee, I like coffee. I love tea but even I don't like all teas. I don't judge people who Like coffee, but I do take note of those individuals capable of drinking it black. Either way, enjoy the beverages in your life. Enjoy the people who come your way. Don't let one experience jade your perception of humanity.
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