Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTwMT1YtQT
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To lift his spirits.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NXsrxa4cx
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQh9OPa7gp8
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Claude.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7Ef9RA8Zm
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82G9VlPxFG
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Demeter wasn't working.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfn1CqAFWDL
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlu1pGPlIc7
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJog1S5aCfj
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrc8UiWTb0
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"Bison."807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELZiCBfC7Q
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Bread is like the sun.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVsRjjjEVR
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKuQAq84uh
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxolQNZmX9x
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKUxn3Woq1
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Its butt.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuggKVlDpL
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSAuEOyoRl
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6iYcbVdij
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First, a tractor.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkx9XMx2Ujw
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxWlS6JRP9
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Gravy.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCAr5AczDQ
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtGcjwAlUs
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Now he's a rockstar.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GATvLFE3P
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Uq8C3zPEx
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Do trees poop?807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDd2kVcAdZX
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlEzCXyFc5
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdMbcI46Ya
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFsQB4SF5p
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqkiiNRray
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She couldn't control her pupils.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7HMPwHFSh
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What do peppers do when they're angry?807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68DQqKQI8P
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They get jalapeño face.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuQMpNPMBE
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Today someone told me I am average.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAapuueHu5p
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I told them that's just mean.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2l1nVcMaUt
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsIRmhCu7I
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Pointless.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJiEEScU4T
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOYEADn8gT
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qZJ6cqkst
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2Iz30rcar
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62zYRqcYEu
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I tried yesterday but I mist.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIu6I3fT8g
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTF09siJo9f
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TlJ1fC2V6
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBvAAo5VhM
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3EW0piJ6F
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What has four wheels and flies?807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnvz9OpH7H
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A garbage truck.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNMMcZK0bE
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ01vgLpbG6
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...so I pushed her over.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rXs6E03k8
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkC9ndUsYsm
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.807Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkvWvl31ZN
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