Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqXuIhEbZI
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To lift his spirits.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEmrsflGK7
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhLWNyAaDA
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Claude.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspwhyVrjPl
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVW37ugwAM
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Demeter wasn't working.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhiIrWrPlj
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnk1gsmV7c9
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksd5oNqLAj
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSBfRdAlcf
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"Bison."433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRMRE4p5Yd
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Bread is like the sun.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIod9My5r7
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwv1FpRvwn
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOtBvztKrV
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVMlEURCU0
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Its butt.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5up7TH8qc
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fGP2oOpFV
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPb6tSmzI1
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First, a tractor.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEydRYGbh7j
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXRDTtcd7z
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Gravy.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykjWcq5in0
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOX3lgKjAki
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Now he's a rockstar.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3MSY2u6b9
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSgclMPCgX
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Do trees poop?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgE4zeMAa7w
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsV1cIb6WyA
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZErqxtqncw
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jN6VgjLix
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDN4e1IMRsf
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She couldn't control her pupils.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYFcq5yZqq
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What do peppers do when they're angry?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQfOrdTJQU
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They get jalapeño face.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSuCmmEF9W
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Today someone told me I am average.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMaVCOYVS9
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I told them that's just mean.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1klz9ORTC
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHjZp5WrWm
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Pointless.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bvezvL7Ez
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjbACUJAe5
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oXMRA9fC7
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUc5AbSUwvF
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLS8ZBShKBR
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I tried yesterday but I mist.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyb6N41AYE
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2huuPQom8L
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjoKxeV7J6v
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyAKbzJnSw
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cGCfjqAQ4
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What has four wheels and flies?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4qSNwRptd
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A garbage truck.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFuqIsNSx3
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhhp9tUyAG
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...so I pushed her over.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Y73r8ovJn
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeP5XlHVJca
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkaQ8gACry
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