Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhzsVAckKc
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To lift his spirits.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACJ6p4ppU6
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtPXrIRDEc
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Claude.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNWYdjs509
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuWQ4yP8Cv
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Demeter wasn't working.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMo7jFmnvRx
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHgXscwG1T
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0TYnWThcb
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kZfTGAla5
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"Bison."513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7j77Fn7N8
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Bread is like the sun.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogTIeO7WKg
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfmtI92NJX
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11WIIRKBPl
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVv12sJfHX
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Its butt.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43zy8i4PS9
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XsHt0DNXT
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8y869je7c
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First, a tractor.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTezAT3i018
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tJm1tIKBF
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Gravy.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZOLKIwJdP
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSno2afc9N
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Now he's a rockstar.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRqzplnccp
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtagXPHK0H
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Do trees poop?513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdc8GdR6Es
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTRhDyfvR1
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCI3HvGBB1e
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXt1tk9lxP
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhREnhYePe7
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She couldn't control her pupils.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYYhW7BpCa
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What do peppers do when they're angry?513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuaEzlpLkS
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They get jalapeño face.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSVTvUmDO5
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Today someone told me I am average.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uerULahRX
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I told them that's just mean.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhrAYCiRlR
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNXfy5POvc
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Pointless.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GlwSVfcPB
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPA2a8xNQFd
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ba9mAeN4k
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYm1op61b2s
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHMNSE3zMp
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I tried yesterday but I mist.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIOdEghlzu
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvXUvOrznO
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNV3GD5O1gL
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIaAp8OnaB
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KaqFg1Nsz
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What has four wheels and flies?513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL44VvwTXd9
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A garbage truck.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30sSHOam9M
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRI6GHi9LOo
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...so I pushed her over.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wc3kORrNt
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXcP7EmPII
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.513Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxbPqgBARK
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