Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKSoh1LFqr
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To lift his spirits.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKSliNNANu
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBKwi7Jynk
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Claude.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgPde0yRWW
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKINLiQDRWK
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Demeter wasn't working.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvo9Zzb4ss
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXfiDR7XO2
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyXJDjAPJR
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BEjD1TZ7t
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"Bison."577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0wkaNmKz2
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Bread is like the sun.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1g1HyCbJhU
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJlh3hDDDU
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LdeMsmIzS
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkt2aKfVVBO
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Its butt.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAynNlZCGDR
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3iZdZ77cn
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgURRiCXsE
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First, a tractor.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAOvBvug9C
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtGm9goBly
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Gravy.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0yFj3JkRN
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKmcrdLFC1
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Now he's a rockstar.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVZWLjg5Ry
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcErWwn0NAk
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Do trees poop?577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYYpNoRuH3
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvy1V831mT
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKh2O3X1NR
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1U0OCvTVpH
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkCNTtvr87
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She couldn't control her pupils.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZwlsaWqGb
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What do peppers do when they're angry?577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnbHjFpsuy
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They get jalapeño face.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevIEdMquTW
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Today someone told me I am average.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9e1BucycO
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I told them that's just mean.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOl0nwOMtkU
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPimm8Cvho
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Pointless.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡES4lYXCxNN
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlKNOBaRhi
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhm8DplfbW
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8j9Hn1KwKE
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIcqcFF740
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I tried yesterday but I mist.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQF2IgNJukw
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5GXiBRlZ9
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdjERQxlmR
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4ehtFqeIv
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzrBOK8COa
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What has four wheels and flies?577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4AO6daTl0h
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A garbage truck.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqotQaNngjZ
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDcS2eLcU6
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...so I pushed her over.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFcGVv9MtV
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsFuzl6Wil
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.577Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPul3KpMs6X
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