Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmY11tTznx
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To lift his spirits.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8QZpiH4Sk
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tKYdo6Sur
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Claude.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSv2B1atF8U
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQmAQhXbd8
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Demeter wasn't working.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiyb2oNDzo
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0tRAKSfZb
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZwfFp4SZu
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQo67aG6o2U
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"Bison."495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJIlXEod38
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Bread is like the sun.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MUJDYYHGz
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XC8FCsS28
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjNP8pRkVA
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVTL7HNRzb
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Its butt.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡod4O0J8yme
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45NaTVyM0v
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldqIhlVBMS
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First, a tractor.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrITgaKRlu
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLOiWsXZk5
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Gravy.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppwpS9vhU7
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegJASxO9jM
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Now he's a rockstar.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTjf5nRiW6
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyA0hPYWq1
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Do trees poop?495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrRusmZ1D2
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uMrhIMBOp
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQara4R5pv
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDP4a6Jap5f
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5tpCOnVAE
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She couldn't control her pupils.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnzeW1CGLb
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What do peppers do when they're angry?495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TnCmQPv9D
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They get jalapeño face.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuUxzgNDvk
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Today someone told me I am average.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLIbhYNwyV
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I told them that's just mean.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bDzmeKBr5
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5fWX4EmEH
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Pointless.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFFI3SvLWy
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjtjyx9cA6
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVw5nuQX4EP
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedqnT6EBzC
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2pDqr9LJP
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I tried yesterday but I mist.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpQDCpPe9X
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JNUUaGqq2
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTK8HRy6ACF
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6ZPFzdx9A
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHa1umztd5
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What has four wheels and flies?495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RczlXWbax
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A garbage truck.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1zMfrdJpt
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuh4LdAQMg
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...so I pushed her over.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiabOMADYrO
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRZl65KNAY
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUcWq8LidF
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