Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUu8F3SA1Q
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To lift his spirits.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08zlBBTmCg
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxH39A5zbg
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Claude.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxT1g6tC8p
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIqjMCzPAH
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Demeter wasn't working.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIXbNb1XLm
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dF8yYYoKc
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpjSunpLA1
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcY1DxQ7KPt
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"Bison."562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcagta5Wktc
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Bread is like the sun.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXqdo5c1ef
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6MpVPkJGZ
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVV7c6unLz
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdamTyol51
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Its butt.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0MwgDsTkA
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3fcmu88CF
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YOPye1X6P
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First, a tractor.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgsjdVQwXc
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MrsexrKPe
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Gravy.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagKwPK0Eks
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxD1vT8Sj7J
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Now he's a rockstar.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLV1foYxxA2
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKJwBXy3cx
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Do trees poop?562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4weZ1ugz2
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4Y0S1uVim
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYAhCoLXJV
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmJaCAr8FW
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMX6EDd1KX
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She couldn't control her pupils.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5VGDCs7GM
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What do peppers do when they're angry?562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNh6GI4cTUf
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They get jalapeño face.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ldalrVdfp
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Today someone told me I am average.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRQFovN45X
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I told them that's just mean.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXqvQOthTf
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡReTOxEEsr7
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Pointless.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqnull03FA
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIMVTKsqfW
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa83zG16qN5
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipicOHM0JP
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkNEHD7Ui8
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I tried yesterday but I mist.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdOf5YODXZ
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOUMXhYzNV
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4ZbqX4Cyt
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW28Ef75t9T
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1rMEm44Hp
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What has four wheels and flies?562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxu59EvRdk
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A garbage truck.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2Lic2ggHR
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2lcLFXCBp
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...so I pushed her over.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8qsepapNc
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRoVoRCXRq1
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFox30aTaV
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