Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86giuA9ZfO
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To lift his spirits.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogAXANYdtl
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENdazPyQRF
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Claude.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dv0ygGD5X
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPEc9d2dJQ
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Demeter wasn't working.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Qplo2QENO
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuM8T11DSOK
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjGkbhhmNr
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKodRlN7LxR
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"Bison."795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrrCOQrSPm
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Bread is like the sun.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkkuJoM6hl
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCidwCSDaxz
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwM2X6R5bRT
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSK8X1vB4F6
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Its butt.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCh0sknkLQO
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyZYFsFSNo
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFUM8n0I6v
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First, a tractor.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYrRTEnQAS
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMRO1Kn5TK
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Gravy.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51JNMjTyC4
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡav2U4yAlYQ
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Now he's a rockstar.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24VbWeXBcq
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYdnycMwkq
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Do trees poop?795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQOX8h75Kt
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibLlxftSmt
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8I11L1RUv
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhMzSeCXt2
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTvaFSx2YC
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She couldn't control her pupils.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMHdr8xTKG
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What do peppers do when they're angry?795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQ8QyH2VfP
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They get jalapeño face.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarxqPEoLzK
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Today someone told me I am average.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuS1rhgabF
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I told them that's just mean.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMlQMP7bGR
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtafIyzT8wr
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Pointless.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyapmRmltr
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTqCfWOGwO
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8ahW1lyfz
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7LHBEIqXC
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXkIWDW6Ts
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I tried yesterday but I mist.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIkiQecjid
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BDhhDCXyG
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kK41mQOE5
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibyO6VEdM1
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxF0cryyY1
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What has four wheels and flies?795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9C7rQP1L6P
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A garbage truck.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJacObU7Fx
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSn5PCfN2v
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...so I pushed her over.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qowsWzAk9
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NXX00aB9l
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSebPKZaiHl
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