Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKL7Aba8FX
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To lift his spirits.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqgGwANfnr
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPH9AyiQaA2
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Claude.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zKXebwAPv
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzjdHoIcXl
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Demeter wasn't working.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMPNSHkKCP
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MlfUtvq9k
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMw3vPlN6N8
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXc7vpuxafv
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"Bison."477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffRSkPfRVH
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Bread is like the sun.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8iJM3Fdhy
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruuMp0b3kO
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbb5Omg7JjI
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgrZQ5OBiJ
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Its butt.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pqbWzAKd7
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijpyufwvie
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwABCYRECq
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First, a tractor.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoedQBpD3fk
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGwnN9lGoQ
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Gravy.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiKDrs6tM5
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hhQUYgZU7
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Now he's a rockstar.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjw34gJaAX
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscstgTjJgg
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Do trees poop?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6R31bjTsBO
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRzABsJP24
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4BwEkPKh9
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIi3nbBqvJ
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡreyknia668
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She couldn't control her pupils.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2MQkA0fIp
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What do peppers do when they're angry?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhrzzIgXpk
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They get jalapeño face.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNr2Vsvzn6u
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Today someone told me I am average.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPLzsVioMP
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I told them that's just mean.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHUVPyGybd
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj13dY7i5tI
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Pointless.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8by6KRfMdx
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDS7TdsQq6A
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeLK33QxRT
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjitRcYDBnD
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5CqTmyXvT
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I tried yesterday but I mist.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4x8DPTV0C
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4H9LHejQh
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQep81BhKU
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6gJHaxsbL
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfnSogWNSF
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What has four wheels and flies?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaasmBAjogw
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A garbage truck.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnShblSP01n
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa61ksOypDl
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...so I pushed her over.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqlr59wA0O
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eXtkKBHVn
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp03isEGOSI
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