Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45NcECxHZd
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To lift his spirits.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqc1W2jZGKV
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNM1zRRBVYV
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Claude.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvIarzTwBQ
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqY5ICHmBgz
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Demeter wasn't working.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopa2SD6Zaf
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLWU2QVRa2
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasEuC9l5GQ
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWu3S31PLZ
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"Bison."530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3d4zIS5fLT
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Bread is like the sun.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrEDmzgNd4
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEc2pvc20N
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UymK4wHqv
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMU236QCZdM
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Its butt.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIBUahgelf
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmW03LzYSh
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbskp3Rp3wq
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First, a tractor.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHR9d2o5yPN
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOsQ3eYHJA
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Gravy.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WAh1twToR
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFA662l6acY
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Now he's a rockstar.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPIQLLL7BU
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5dVAOwdWw
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Do trees poop?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iznd876j7
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTShCkqNrD5
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXdK5eutht
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS95pxhlYPd
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5e8QscBPE
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She couldn't control her pupils.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSH57G0LFz3
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What do peppers do when they're angry?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNli9lnnX24
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They get jalapeño face.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUn9WxL9EKW
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Today someone told me I am average.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMRpibKAas
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I told them that's just mean.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9K0sXtnRUL
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKL5Yiui3x
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Pointless.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuyyd7fkhO
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡad1kdScXOG
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAE5feo9zX
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡej1sZ5ycsk
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuw8PjjBfTP
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I tried yesterday but I mist.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlckpwxozwW
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAmTGtytNR
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBy36rpp7My
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbRfC37IOx
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTqfXflojl
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What has four wheels and flies?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmSLoVUi2Y
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A garbage truck.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFHJNZO6q9
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGj31zhl6s
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...so I pushed her over.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoXO3iJQIf
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOzd2RFL5P
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVjOjLgkMH
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