Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ616APULSuH
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To lift his spirits.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7llLWoesTg
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HenlA2Bx3
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Claude.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PiAxoOpa5
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrquBaB6leT
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Demeter wasn't working.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzklQb2Ogj
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCfkZwAQZs
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42CmFMfogw
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteDiL0aVYj
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"Bison."560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXm28gzEqZr
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Bread is like the sun.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKAX8ytZ1EH
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCkWeqe1N9
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jANDfRF03
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiF3GSlJYSF
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Its butt.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxnYWJz2mh
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfR3rxYvUR
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jd5ejWAfh
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First, a tractor.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZ2xHnYH5n
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHE5atdlxa
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Gravy.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29JKb1FzuQ
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SXzNgjF99
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Now he's a rockstar.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOjbS5TPAw
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAna7cRBdu
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Do trees poop?560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivMGItUuzS
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFciRjxPGdq
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhsJ8JzyR1
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdBe6dFlwC
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXmiAlTuTk
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She couldn't control her pupils.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrJqujy8bI
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What do peppers do when they're angry?560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCS3pL9uryT
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They get jalapeño face.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpO9zRda8a
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Today someone told me I am average.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHRx8MiJzh
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I told them that's just mean.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyX5T1FHC8l
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTey376rETj
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Pointless.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGui2WyYDH
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOef0oLemh
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwc0CmjO7D
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOwQDQiNiL
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuWi25D1Bs
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I tried yesterday but I mist.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3EGCXFdxE
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKZk4b90Xr
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoBZSnL6O2
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWGp7bhS0Q
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGo46cycz64
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What has four wheels and flies?560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZQeil9eQy
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A garbage truck.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzw2TgIENn
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgD1Ju4pbKX
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...so I pushed her over.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidbKpOBIZK
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7F0l5goavu
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs512LOsgTb
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