Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJmjQznTgo
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To lift his spirits.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ69PjkyS69
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIXlDm88bm
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Claude.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09Wcf7J5vB
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Q6JAE6TRH
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Demeter wasn't working.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajaYPs5Cyy
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lGBpJt7Qr
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RMikCuxvb
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOEKAMKjL1
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"Bison."828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERFvm0fVCj
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Bread is like the sun.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0rR7hiXRz
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCd59JnDbra
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ex5XEG8pN
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgQCCoUEsc
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Its butt.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAYfEvFapu
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAewSgLYl5h
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURbkwtKApU
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First, a tractor.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGAZLDc1Uf
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyTMJ7jBHQ
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Gravy.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4MnMhPIgH
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRph8RMUe5O
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Now he's a rockstar.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRGih5fkYm
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfdLeIXUUZ
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Do trees poop?828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEW0obnYG5
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTt29C8thMv
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOU9RSO1Ud
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAhqxj6p49
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdb1nWLoYg8
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She couldn't control her pupils.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvtQfBY1TX
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What do peppers do when they're angry?828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡin614OXoXQ
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They get jalapeño face.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mL8g0N4aR
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Today someone told me I am average.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6D5zQhbjO
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I told them that's just mean.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1EC6oilCK
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRwPXgdFtX
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Pointless.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSk1JlsENa
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUR9MBuI4j
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4u8XfNMTL
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmu9XDndLQ
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZ3OjSyhUv
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I tried yesterday but I mist.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcrY13Yihs
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOOC26brIR
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2cUYb4JIC
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepmRQfpqMJ
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzSEZtO7oJ
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What has four wheels and flies?828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXJPBpPbFQ
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A garbage truck.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9S39WCW91
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BnXjQnNio
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...so I pushed her over.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbsg65Kw68
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlkc8umAHe
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.828Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfc5dEXwiQ
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