Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DMu57iG76
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To lift his spirits.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35EuVPYWzV
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5oj3cRXzo
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Claude.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6pJLiRkI6
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡri8LlghPsP
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Demeter wasn't working.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMPPT7l8eA
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9ntn1oGno
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVLAkzjJNJ
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1mEpUTsIJ
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"Bison."434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0JQ4rEeQC
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Bread is like the sun.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwXPRLivdi
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4klIqn47DT
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5p0jyTTGpP
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvK8Ohn0X4U
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Its butt.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FBQK0NOvE
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaRVEB9fqe
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iVFHVdg7z
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First, a tractor.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMx1F9OR7oy
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjS4FJWl5Y
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Gravy.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZhFkIAdjM
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡli5b1pozDs
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Now he's a rockstar.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpADaKP6da
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0F7wiWr856
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Do trees poop?434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNta4R5rYO
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkcaeoihYi
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqNsG9DQuO
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMYhdcaiqy
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJ69wXHn9m
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She couldn't control her pupils.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5uwrbExAa
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What do peppers do when they're angry?434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiWwMwTGjz
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They get jalapeño face.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MGWQgw140
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Today someone told me I am average.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iuzGFU2Nc
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I told them that's just mean.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qpg2jf4wY
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnmJFTsxto
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Pointless.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5z4qHScplX
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBfYLruo6C
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1JM25Ci2f
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlynh1em2KT
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Z5Prs9IED
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I tried yesterday but I mist.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcRwGV5MiH
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bhg2iMV5H
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo37Puupr1j
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTPWBFe1WO
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8c1bJmdiBd
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What has four wheels and flies?434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoReL0w1YnH
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A garbage truck.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXCFW7DAs5
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LG9qvpC3s
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...so I pushed her over.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvLaPWwfSA
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk18iMo1tqB
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.434Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8MU39RKNE
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