Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzGq5SGkeg
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To lift his spirits.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnc4q8UA6JQ
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF14AkpIkx8
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Claude.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdhC6QWQjM
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEPGoF2Eu6
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Demeter wasn't working.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoF0KjJFUHI
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgutstCe9S
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsypK8RpIak
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7K0OVrpty
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...500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡur7zTGaX1g
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"Bison."500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWireePvDf
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Bread is like the sun.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZWpRHw3Tv
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuW0Sb9h5LS
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWuGakjXRU
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhivtNenSn2
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Its butt.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wJE9RDf1H
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxqVPOx7la
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsP9LDGJMJV
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First, a tractor.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQq22GLlStG
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgb4FLt2sWz
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Gravy.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rT34uoTiV
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcqoNdwcVv
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Now he's a rockstar.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOOcC76d1M
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIgBQj85fH
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Do trees poop?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgHV4mCA8Y
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqnGOYBtmm
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQ79GmkVSM
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKXS8pTXNS
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2595JIr42e
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She couldn't control her pupils.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHXrPZH9Ns
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What do peppers do when they're angry?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9NQmnSFzn
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They get jalapeño face.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nTylvt9ye
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Today someone told me I am average.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhPOIi35n0
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I told them that's just mean.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38G6SLJYFT
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoy5ZVm2fGZ
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Pointless.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9G4XpnTIBn
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYHyFGSbBj
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgekzm0Ksl
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzu64bBNE4
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uX7MGRiQi
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I tried yesterday but I mist.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8CUJWhcZi
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGjh1S18pg
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRwbiN1mVl
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxnQCsUpYD
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPOi3p9vDK
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What has four wheels and flies?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYehJfnSXo6
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A garbage truck.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0pPnjNDFW
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiubLfCV3Yv
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...so I pushed her over.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVnOSvbfRO
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyjwkdayg4
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTnKFRWzqT
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