Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0C5IVw7zFx
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To lift his spirits.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKg56I9R00w
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24kMoN8Som
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Claude.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOmE55CutL
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzOJ1H4Dhb
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Demeter wasn't working.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNjo6nJ7vE
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgURZNTMbXM
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3gXmGICpy
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jRlx0hPpD
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"Bison."827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91ebO6d1um
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Bread is like the sun.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHApZR1UcA
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7JxyzjNMQ
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUqAZKHme7
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOA81L9iVQ
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Its butt.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4ASMwJ8Gh
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5F6n3YnFt
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ogi10SDeB
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First, a tractor.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYvk3EC9Ix
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkD2FUC00J
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Gravy.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJPbaqcA3G
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8JLibwGGD
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Now he's a rockstar.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynuSqlpjTR
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDh9qBrEmfC
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Do trees poop?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2Tgt5GSJ7
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBO8Xzuh4i1
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxYjvqRQHK
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqlLGEbCLA
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZsAEgWP4M
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She couldn't control her pupils.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGQ2TEtv2d
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What do peppers do when they're angry?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3kE0qxLHC
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They get jalapeño face.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbdBEeLXMK
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Today someone told me I am average.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTojIcfzsA
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I told them that's just mean.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPL3VRuQCy
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHkn2Hh9Qa
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Pointless.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNSvTRTutP
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6I5a5G6C3
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JAuWcq0W7
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3diOK1noHc
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gvuQdNRvz
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I tried yesterday but I mist.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvkeH4wTk3
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoThPyeEzR
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dFEzcQB3k
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpRVOFRtar
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMv8IVfFYEA
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What has four wheels and flies?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTD7nvC5eq
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A garbage truck.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqEwz0ONEK
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxCQyjOe3g
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...so I pushed her over.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNs362irzq
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiOH0x5AMD
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDe0NY2jokT
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