Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?258Please respect copyright.PENANA8y0Zt4DZYr
258Please respect copyright.PENANAn8GFnyIklv
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To lift his spirits.258Please respect copyright.PENANAg7hpbVEPF1
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?258Please respect copyright.PENANAQ795yZrZir
258Please respect copyright.PENANAsTqQH35Zjh
...258Please respect copyright.PENANANyuFhYeyqJ
258Please respect copyright.PENANAdCm1PSPQg8
Claude.258Please respect copyright.PENANASJaU10yZ7d
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?258Please respect copyright.PENANAjjS4bjfdkn
258Please respect copyright.PENANAFEMvejMS9u
...258Please respect copyright.PENANA6XyIKLIiPy
258Please respect copyright.PENANA9fnnpYthVq
Demeter wasn't working.258Please respect copyright.PENANABFO92FKtPO
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"258Please respect copyright.PENANAd48dR6VMhe
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.258Please respect copyright.PENANAVJHb7ihxie
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?258Please respect copyright.PENANAkLpDcs1AfF
258Please respect copyright.PENANAwMYQgwYaxY
...258Please respect copyright.PENANAin4uPahQ14
258Please respect copyright.PENANA7GRrAdxd5g
"Bison."258Please respect copyright.PENANAq05KWmA73I
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Bread is like the sun.258Please respect copyright.PENANAcPTTEzKlea
258Please respect copyright.PENANAs2is1D1Fb8
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258Please respect copyright.PENANAdSmXHMfB3X
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.258Please respect copyright.PENANASJj463h72t
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."258Please respect copyright.PENANAWNeDxA2a8D
---258Please respect copyright.PENANAwZziaHODu1
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?258Please respect copyright.PENANAKAdy5u1H3t
258Please respect copyright.PENANA2pPawVg5f7
...258Please respect copyright.PENANAXYDPm9k5UX
258Please respect copyright.PENANAJVjJCpvsI1
Its butt.258Please respect copyright.PENANAAmRcqa8UZp
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."258Please respect copyright.PENANAoQf5CacqJ9
---258Please respect copyright.PENANATCYGwVlaWL
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?258Please respect copyright.PENANAKOZIy1agSl
258Please respect copyright.PENANAU8UbUgInYg
...258Please respect copyright.PENANAZuMCqXFrPJ
258Please respect copyright.PENANASFOw846vRV
First, a tractor.258Please respect copyright.PENANA4UIlz9Frtc
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...258Please respect copyright.PENANAmvJI9CWyY8
258Please respect copyright.PENANAOi41E7QBXi
258Please respect copyright.PENANAxYbwcyB8Tf
258Please respect copyright.PENANAo1sBLnS3sS
Gravy.258Please respect copyright.PENANApvTpjX3v8Q
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.258Please respect copyright.PENANAQZUf7YzHv6
258Please respect copyright.PENANAZgqFInIT9H
...258Please respect copyright.PENANA6RmLkq6Oqd
258Please respect copyright.PENANARMdpJvAUrA
Now he's a rockstar.258Please respect copyright.PENANAhCP3qGSx3d
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."258Please respect copyright.PENANAmPHT7Zq60U
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Do trees poop?258Please respect copyright.PENANA5ydbRo3Ev9
258Please respect copyright.PENANAtYQUTuLcOI
...258Please respect copyright.PENANA4JIut2Ngwf
258Please respect copyright.PENANAa5FJy4lACV
Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?258Please respect copyright.PENANAISmvgVhdTY
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?258Please respect copyright.PENANApFfIzL9bgD
258Please respect copyright.PENANAJopymBQ9cT
...258Please respect copyright.PENANAhRpTX5peII
258Please respect copyright.PENANASRZKNLlRee
A "do-you-think-he-saurus."258Please respect copyright.PENANAnPjmYdl1bB
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?258Please respect copyright.PENANAByRsCT9fNg
258Please respect copyright.PENANAuo9rk9HJ05
...258Please respect copyright.PENANA0w3ilqKVBs
258Please respect copyright.PENANAFvKRivuv17
She couldn't control her pupils.258Please respect copyright.PENANAZhG4OM5hFc
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What do peppers do when they're angry?258Please respect copyright.PENANABZ6FhIkXCy
258Please respect copyright.PENANAnf9umkDd8t
...258Please respect copyright.PENANAf4ydNQ3Iod
258Please respect copyright.PENANAJhrXL5sN7L
They get jalapeño face.258Please respect copyright.PENANAKNX08OxXJj
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Today someone told me I am average.258Please respect copyright.PENANAm07HzR40Zp
258Please respect copyright.PENANAQLlwZyvdZa
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258Please respect copyright.PENANAgxHbZmshDn
I told them that's just mean.258Please respect copyright.PENANARCBRK88Tko
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?258Please respect copyright.PENANABtZ5JNaLJv
258Please respect copyright.PENANAIPNiBp59gm
...258Please respect copyright.PENANAUiCn0Sz2Xc
258Please respect copyright.PENANAZxPVuBsn26
Pointless.258Please respect copyright.PENANAg895kHbNGV
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."258Please respect copyright.PENANAl27ENiWUZc
---258Please respect copyright.PENANAliQxj70GHS
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?258Please respect copyright.PENANAn1EWHLorvt
258Please respect copyright.PENANA0RUxYz3XZX
...258Please respect copyright.PENANA746jOxAoq2
258Please respect copyright.PENANAHbcnIYV0C4
He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.258Please respect copyright.PENANAlEqwssvMc1
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?258Please respect copyright.PENANA066tmPsNfC
258Please respect copyright.PENANAH4pZx8BOTy
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258Please respect copyright.PENANA6xrqV1JFsp
I tried yesterday but I mist.258Please respect copyright.PENANAgtC2L9rTJN
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?258Please respect copyright.PENANA7Ixu3trQCM
258Please respect copyright.PENANAbWNb9dHT46
...258Please respect copyright.PENANAXrcVejuMMO
258Please respect copyright.PENANAENVEhm4Vt3
You can only ran—it's always past tents.258Please respect copyright.PENANAdlIHqnWlZb
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?258Please respect copyright.PENANA5ZSlPerLzy
258Please respect copyright.PENANAolgQiFUoce
...258Please respect copyright.PENANAFtS08D67qG
258Please respect copyright.PENANAcMMprQgvfk
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.258Please respect copyright.PENANAGLwZ4N2hyb
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What has four wheels and flies?258Please respect copyright.PENANA6BSjhWiKzf
258Please respect copyright.PENANAZhYTmrETOO
...258Please respect copyright.PENANAvvDq9DFHw6
258Please respect copyright.PENANAVsNoCQiKaE
A garbage truck.258Please respect copyright.PENANATUTr0hA4mv
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...258Please respect copyright.PENANAPQKdJV8vHS
258Please respect copyright.PENANAOUjWhk1igK
258Please respect copyright.PENANABNwOu6bW8T
258Please respect copyright.PENANA9UmPjxdyJf
...so I pushed her over.258Please respect copyright.PENANA96se7wuYBB
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?258Please respect copyright.PENANALsi4A8j1i6
258Please respect copyright.PENANAtfafeoyNUa
...258Please respect copyright.PENANAj4RaPdoU5g
258Please respect copyright.PENANAr63QlGLpdZ
If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.258Please respect copyright.PENANAd3abmuihiy
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
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