Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvwd0gikm9
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To lift his spirits.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb095C3sn5Y
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcMtmGK3qS
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Claude.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNf1ie86RL
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIGyeA1ZFs
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Demeter wasn't working.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FIbkXdu8T
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyu7ZgAuPL
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21awj1eni3
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfSWwe460o
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"Bison."535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUr6hOfoCl
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Bread is like the sun.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcBbPwgvoI
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSg8td5u0um
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7756belFr
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4P5SMirc5G
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Its butt.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRLb78FBgE
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLCHnfCcDl
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3cFElEtK1
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First, a tractor.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrTJWJ0FME
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Sp54uqvpD
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Gravy.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nqxTbQ9kv
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs30OEyYfje
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Now he's a rockstar.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqdKFYGMSa
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwIntRxdTi
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Do trees poop?535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9a4lWBRof
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdAVNniwSy
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBplIcAppC6
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0A4u0P84b
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrDM683G36
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She couldn't control her pupils.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCY4bFk2eLE
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What do peppers do when they're angry?535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPc60ODSKHq
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They get jalapeño face.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJYfedtRo7
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Today someone told me I am average.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmL3rZd7WWY
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I told them that's just mean.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4dPwHHuMC
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OYEj36Gpa
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Pointless.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGp5ScHXvuG
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6HnlnBSxX
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqv46QrFpO
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpP2mKMm5Gk
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4lqURSzrL
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I tried yesterday but I mist.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlECtiV6Md
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexrqMItPSN
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmoimOzlyQ
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnNcrCcIr5
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IfSTGxAJv
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What has four wheels and flies?535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeGQYDoRZX
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A garbage truck.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8hIItof1s
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKwTtdgB2h
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...so I pushed her over.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fMUmVLDSJ
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBS2vbHZmp4
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqmXrMPF2W
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