Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtpo6fXfKF
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MX289IGco
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOReAVNLxxx
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCAJcl6oMH
To lift his spirits.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DsQrBQGtA
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzaSdNXrbs
What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxroTqJpLK
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJR0GOutV4
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhL2GcZpGsm
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfrklIsnPz
Claude.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3AnlcuFCv
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbhZABIpga
Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0IPXR6jDP
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9Mh9Uys1L
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDptwssflKY
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rZQEc74kQ
Demeter wasn't working.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQIsi7pzVO
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygUOYRiIY4
Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgsuanz2qU
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIAyUlcH5V
Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7noj2vB9PH
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5O2eyiUsIC
What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxuwRZPpXX
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVO8PO68I9
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhAeWFSAEm
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwzhTsSAwA
"Bison."537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eqROmBM8K
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7OQ4vYm4j
Bread is like the sun.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5pTXkFV5B
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDq7TsT68P
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6uwdKLoBp
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzfg3HlaJq
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKAOKQpre2S
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP13nrC2jlm
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwn5PaSNJ8S
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdYrt91gmP
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGE9qML7JSa
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyV8nU4mqoF
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBBmIcqnY9
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzATKyciUt
Its butt.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQ62URyHpS
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDsiD9zm4B
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIibgaJdot
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLiKlfKY09
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHaqyRDEeaN
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mkT58yIXe
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXfHv3H2zD
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTlHz5Pqlh
First, a tractor.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIJ1WyzDBg
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuIVlO4uRZ
Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYRjZuFuPT
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55Y6mVQ740
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheP99Natri
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh52YqtZKRh
Gravy.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ObYXNK8Tn
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDK1Leuf6rx
Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbCOKDEQUL
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYd4CnTYC31
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTovPNiG0I
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXh36PpXRS
Now he's a rockstar.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3aSevw7FAW
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nYXgFMUf7
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEtbOrLlQ0
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFimV8hsjE
Do trees poop?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMNem85BvC
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOgXScAdxw
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhzYNAPAy1
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vV52tn3Wt
Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1Q6RCDWMC
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6TXGUXzH9
What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBGrNHyDvT
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsOLL8c8cx
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PaFJR7aWV
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFfCllVDIE
A "do-you-think-he-saurus."537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9828Ti6BH
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AkA7QnJ4x
Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEpEFTOEzz
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡru0K6j84ly
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkm6Kf0VoQ
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnT4HEIHa8G
She couldn't control her pupils.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHSVjsDFoo
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXJrCuFJ1y
What do peppers do when they're angry?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmaDXc6Rdw
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYNgUmYz76
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TJY1PKgZP
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kUOEwKLxj
They get jalapeño face.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUD8I75GBaf
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIIv5vU55A
Today someone told me I am average.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGzXAyvvMZ
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQvS7XdVUg
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOthSgJNAwo
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQzWVmLkU0
I told them that's just mean.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYgP5aZScX
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEu9oCL6zX
What do you call a pencil with two erasers?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQLsDyrDqj
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvag6wNukU
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Un91wE027
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLiAqRGuXM
Pointless.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUoUzV1ewW
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYgLCTJ8Ze
Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFLg04kC9D
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUur7UV2FF
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fTNNhiLZS
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHYDBW2teZ
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVRB2tGtcI
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJK4wqSIta8
He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZMISNYh84
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdXZW27Y4M
Have you ever tried to catch fog?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmDauqA9Qv
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9kVLGGjue
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpBIzRrqVH
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8hR9A5Mhr
I tried yesterday but I mist.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxyqnw2uVB
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAcc1hNHWu
Why can't you ever run through a campsite?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvB59ioEi5I
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4w9rFBjd9
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ140IjDxeG
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VkQ6tFkxA
You can only ran—it's always past tents.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1C3zWc1sz7
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlRwDrJp9Z
What country's capital is growing the fastest?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXzZqlIcmr
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLds3QZ8sUb
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4mGF3jgHL
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeiTHqPctBa
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC04zfJHQbo
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLYCVYo7PY
What has four wheels and flies?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXmLnhweCS
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5KbLC8Pg8
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYq64dPnU0n
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQsI9zftg7
A garbage truck.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbcKwJcpmd
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx214tFQUYP
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjEyzWAfuC
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95XVS5S7sn
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgzjQ54cy8
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvz4S6h4gF
...so I pushed her over.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoYnxOEGWY
---537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMJPEAcZhX
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcGWzpkEtU
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2FLAoAuiG
...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDsSMdpcTc
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVYhAvTPTD
If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HhRhSas8f
---