Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRE3XwWdUvD
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To lift his spirits.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7OSdMl0SZ
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEtnPRF2El
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Claude.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0r5CwviQm7
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAudPEAfqq
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Demeter wasn't working.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTrdF92Sx8
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIdO4gSTaV
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIY7WjOMQw
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTOKgXi0jV
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"Bison."429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPr9fc8aRyw
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Bread is like the sun.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1r0lhEKoza
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fnSs3Q7aa
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqOs7azIu2
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4W8LB8l4Q
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Its butt.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdNSBxj1tq
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjUYT5v0La
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MeOzg7ZmY
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First, a tractor.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YfSyCFLRm
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2sih7CDKH
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Gravy.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfox879iXU3
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQA6gFp6RZ
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Now he's a rockstar.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtRlSla09J
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5iGuOjJB7
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Do trees poop?429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSaIGa18m9
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmo8D6BrEE
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpoST3mTSQ
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiX1FfXtJM
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oEslusRBS
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She couldn't control her pupils.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQMqwxNw2r
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What do peppers do when they're angry?429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55s6S6y8lM
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They get jalapeño face.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnGumMdJdl
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Today someone told me I am average.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL86VYwkEol
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I told them that's just mean.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kHd6FMXH6
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFb39I4KPX
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Pointless.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyXyLdjQLd
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6HSoaDUIw
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXecHVCfAJ
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0iBEzhdBx
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHAD10Cp2o
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I tried yesterday but I mist.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHtdrLshMA
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NxCpqEEBS
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hFQAZjeWj
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpcRpS5xJD
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4aQSdXpdQ
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What has four wheels and flies?429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDr5BA1tZi
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A garbage truck.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvqj7F9GF1
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtuXSxhLTk
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...so I pushed her over.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyF5zBtChWi
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxok9iB1mvh
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUeGZA9Vu8
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