Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcma2aEN2h
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To lift his spirits.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNc06TUEia
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwYjaL7amn
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Claude.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmZghlobRt
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSMiQGI4tm
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Demeter wasn't working.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqOK6rzffg
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEU6EqIAUCW
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8G1tRwXT1y
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaN1cKrR1N
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"Bison."537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3nui6t8yr
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Bread is like the sun.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYjeIZ6TKA
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFVzrkorvV
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkDporXS9X
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UN7Cs4C6O
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Its butt.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKOmTfbaBs
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChfdKe9ZET
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55WE6RVPx4
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First, a tractor.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArpUrnUoiz
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuMJxU6tv5
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Gravy.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLCoi3sA8s
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfqc5UA2hT
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Now he's a rockstar.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFrG48api2
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuCLsxr9w3
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Do trees poop?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3nMtoilAB
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0HXru63QO
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYCsfVGC9H
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzpqHG1CH7
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8KtA1QIAl
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She couldn't control her pupils.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECavrM9ZLg
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What do peppers do when they're angry?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cM8aTfs2n
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They get jalapeño face.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCV92JSBM9J
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Today someone told me I am average.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvA4gPvUhr
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I told them that's just mean.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1KGSn61LS
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hDP3yAIcW
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Pointless.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYNTLUG8U8
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwM1nXLe4Y1
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ghhZgcHPR
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayC7OnVQyh
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNoDRU9Udq
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I tried yesterday but I mist.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpbtz7XnJj
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8GuzXoS8E
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqS7jYWDcc
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmzutUSYuV
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWWjQ5KWIm
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What has four wheels and flies?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrhrr5bJwB
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A garbage truck.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorDyHHupyu
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQEZCVs3cw
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...so I pushed her over.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjycQUjwELc
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsomaOZ0Kmu
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTQNMLA1Vv
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