Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQBQuAuHK7
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To lift his spirits.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUR2M0PBzk
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclDsHLJr4B
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Claude.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgsJCbc01SN
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUNy7gwjVn
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Demeter wasn't working.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtWVS2ysxm
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZraUwxyRf
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TqDkSthHp
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipepvIbjZp
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"Bison."537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lDlaQGJSd
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Bread is like the sun.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyBbcl6Lxm
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4q05GKOnq
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRNasUsgxq
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxp0wjcYEck
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Its butt.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKzFOFTlF0
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHmB5JYTmq
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGUFOGU3UO
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First, a tractor.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppGiu3ip7o
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvUJszI8l1
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Gravy.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcqKf9jHMF
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3CN4cZsiQ
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Now he's a rockstar.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCMSgryDMa
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfWHjFOFAU
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Do trees poop?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbF3p2ivGFP
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsPAontpzP
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDuaZpJjYY
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRUpaaZrhH
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpb4zCS8X5D
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She couldn't control her pupils.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTPgAT1MYC
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What do peppers do when they're angry?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2rU3eD69Q
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They get jalapeño face.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvr6R5li50
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Today someone told me I am average.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH90oOJfb5O
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I told them that's just mean.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0ah3GK2jv
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN26cm2xPHF
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Pointless.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbS9JGXDog
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwHoL3Wmr2
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYrO1rhDPx
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHTU1cbIyr
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmweCPb3v2z
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I tried yesterday but I mist.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNUYbhDSbk
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmhqgru7ZC
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0YjWInvXp
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7iIMqocbO
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3TdPX7rS9
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What has four wheels and flies?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZMwxiJ8lS
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A garbage truck.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9aMVPQdxO
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDM7DuvXHKc
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...so I pushed her over.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUP1478bCw3
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbUTEt27Bb
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOBInCSFOV
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