Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4WjsUiKni
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwVX31J5MU
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡua7pYdoBEh
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9fSNxkSeD
To lift his spirits.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbrvxSRUW8
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcamRV3gT7S
What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkqU0I4hf0
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCALuOtnIX
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZr72Nz0GF
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5tG5dGxtb
Claude.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxNEnP3d1l
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIXwiS4mqD
Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡReBOXHoKz7
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACz2bB9C1s
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlHvtsN9Gu
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlR9J7MElG
Demeter wasn't working.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENomNEJXn2
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWARqJJgvJZ
Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAx7VTuihEj
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHm1tGBzpAp
Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObTBdYNlTf
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMFtWTDHVh
What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwiMNH8qJb
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsEtemwcXv
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfh8cejgPj
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpaTYLZlY9
"Bison."512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWZk5rkidL
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrl9dQrwfSS
Bread is like the sun.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcDUKpHpIs
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgakLMN45Oi
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1k1A8rTrU
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxx5DHq2kra
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepgWe0hL4D
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf260FswGEE
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ERlJDg79L
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNNqGU4J1f
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTqoosv7X4
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaoDboZwnu
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8R1YKNvAQ
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrtDHcM8V6
Its butt.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NeaQmIsVA
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡej749KpZkK
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmcK8rcQHY
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25oIRasshj
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2G361mp1C
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirb2MlW6Mt
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERzokLGtsR
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbR0O5Wx9L
First, a tractor.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoKjubxXEA
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PSvsGaDkz
Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdWqIpoCWS
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVtHZ8uM1b
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡry0LwPG4OS
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1ARIP7yw4
Gravy.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BVFJpM6pu
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjo0HVXVwV
Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO93BihK7dN
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ892zDFHz6
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EIqAoMSSg
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDofjDsRbBV
Now he's a rockstar.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRiRKHdu2Z
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBOWCugOFd
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEEGb7X3hh
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9v0zcOXyh
Do trees poop?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCWRw1hRGt
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtt1EVLe4H
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9nIXETO1s
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8gWvdAXfl
Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLL4mcASwS
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDiM6nDpaq
What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXA1fxOJDx4
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvbyXUgLZv
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppP0F86iut
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNJYwzSwVx
A "do-you-think-he-saurus."512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMh3xwz9uHz
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nQpc2eA6u
Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhFhgtZOec
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jwZvRBtb5
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuR9I1e0yC
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlZQDZpk5a
She couldn't control her pupils.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbBaXmM1IZ
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKWWGDDfot
What do peppers do when they're angry?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxBd1XuMkg
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfs2pwdTJBX
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFORoddY7P
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwmeehsTd2
They get jalapeño face.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NwjVWLvnR
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAClNvbJVoI
Today someone told me I am average.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfepf4D9fX
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53vgnAZbw6
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5n01x8WGZt
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAv8rCV13m
I told them that's just mean.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcplTB3xPks
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2BlSckLsx
What do you call a pencil with two erasers?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEiZmedCZo
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6rwdEYeXb
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9c7OLUw1gk
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz517jNZCaC
Pointless.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZuzp1sGwTK
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIHUnSHFUo
Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGluxa0fVfQ
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CyqPdzLdi
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRHFPCCfQL
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEdTFKd1Lh
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyQKbAHTvH
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoFign2SZF
He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEIg4xtlnV
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlHuSfvpFY
Have you ever tried to catch fog?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VwXE6cuCV
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bezE2W4ig
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZJUOmetn7
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5RSRofyQC
I tried yesterday but I mist.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyec35N9pS
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vqEYb7ugN
Why can't you ever run through a campsite?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN94yTX4hU2
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnf8nSNk65o
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTwjXvZn3R
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizzduT8kPM
You can only ran—it's always past tents.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwsx4x2nhH
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpMtp2GylD
What country's capital is growing the fastest?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJuKUWw1Vw
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHFDdVmyLe
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwErlCQXAxf
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EyzGL1oiY
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXPXiEoHh2
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CRJ0Zmpc3
What has four wheels and flies?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqUEbO9xKS
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5OFJ9Pz9I
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKovZ1RfMtg
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnnNZh28xs
A garbage truck.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XuAPgG5nU
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOJpz4cUDx
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHOuYCSMpL
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSG3kbL64MZ
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKlljdgzoG
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZfE40JNQC
...so I pushed her over.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwlA83Dvp0
---512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxh3yVdMWHC
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnabQbXVtg
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvs3xpfK24e
...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NuOpvpfRJ
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCt5nbU6jMn
If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzftNCv9gy
---