Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLWFyTbq1u
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To lift his spirits.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7CYcRWs3S
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktgM41eukC
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Claude.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rKnaZqekq
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiKkwjH2JO
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Demeter wasn't working.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZ2wOybAeN
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiaOlW3uDp
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyl7NOxP9C
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9GWSdfLoh
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"Bison."580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TsX2o6tV1
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Bread is like the sun.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvPp5XtBeQ
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZI09X57bRW
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LbyCCxgiN
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLwcFFgBOo
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Its butt.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTcZXuwK0x
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5GeeDvpJe
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgwS3pWf9A
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First, a tractor.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWei1Vbpe9z
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavBDB4GpKA
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Gravy.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RY3DRglSm
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfz8wEfpJZs
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Now he's a rockstar.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ594FKNttLH
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEvJWVrskT
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Do trees poop?580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSmVhFZCen
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNC1RKWpFnl
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSab0BlKo2
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAtaUdOSRA
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYsQzcxrSq
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She couldn't control her pupils.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ib0bhxxa6
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What do peppers do when they're angry?580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBqTaw9XqP
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They get jalapeño face.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ092r6njDZF
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Today someone told me I am average.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKQXE7O0Ct
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I told them that's just mean.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa65Sg14GLK
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaroboJI23H
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Pointless.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTcojwe6Rd
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVZEaH3m32
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgqeqODnmy
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Bcg740jYb
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGvS4RlKgm
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I tried yesterday but I mist.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBI4vJM4B9a
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1Xoq2cMyU
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyZ05exW7U
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIln3vn003i
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuRKsnDHIl
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What has four wheels and flies?580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhz7Lhws8Zx
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A garbage truck.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuaJtJWq6c
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3K9meBFtP
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...so I pushed her over.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94wZiOEcoa
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz207f82utp
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1RUyJ8P8Y
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