Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcTjQ7i6r9
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To lift his spirits.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghmlMC0oVc
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMBAzPJSOP
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Claude.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1kXmfGIAY
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtsd787cHX
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Demeter wasn't working.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmrYti724j
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJwFFaSyNS
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBvBLucL2g
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOvQ0aQTe8
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"Bison."811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfGR8w1va2
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Bread is like the sun.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlbJJ43mzg
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrtbg4vbQQ
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgpzQcEqBK
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30wo78QEQa
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Its butt.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXC3ihiigSS
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDojoJfto4
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5jOTJfhFj
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First, a tractor.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBHIVTtYZj
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXWuHHJclh
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Gravy.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LDpzTNuqq
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlwmT5ym0o
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Now he's a rockstar.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuJKctyNIE
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPp6NPLmYvq
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Do trees poop?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRP2TtPeQk
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSv5HTVoCMK
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJblFhW4Vc
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hdPITrmHt
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwUCwFoLMU
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She couldn't control her pupils.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIq2Ndksxr
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What do peppers do when they're angry?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlaNX0mazN
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They get jalapeño face.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8t7aniEZsV
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Today someone told me I am average.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYYLm9zUKv
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I told them that's just mean.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmqMjhmyRS
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3CBVif9Vv
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Pointless.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKAYncJyZH9
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaj6xDQ9wV
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcJULaqYy7
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDrA3RmUfy
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQ2mZkNJzL
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I tried yesterday but I mist.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FGrOjOJlA
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlGNSRjnoZ
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0YpbN8atg
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CIAh5B5gw
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvmc1xTM0U
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What has four wheels and flies?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCiaxO99kG
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A garbage truck.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnSKSRuzwH
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQzsVTlJoQ
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...so I pushed her over.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3zSOSHBNF
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWDQQAVIEZ
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoaEe3r4pYk
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