Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKmnyf4gs4
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To lift his spirits.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81NAPgVF9T
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGSJCGjTDr
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Claude.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkJcOBgZoo
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlHgnFho5t
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Demeter wasn't working.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnpVEhbfpD
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzEY5JM8yI
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJd5A8iYO3t
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRjwuSw7It
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"Bison."541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvkgV58h8q
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Bread is like the sun.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOEZPhRtNq
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAXtvntYe0
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVLn4JDGzb
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1u73XDlRG
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Its butt.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4y0QMxZ2PR
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mdP3bd3na
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCvF7dZklh
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First, a tractor.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDt3cBQz2I
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJhIDnwQ1m
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Gravy.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKcPkSuzy0
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpsaGxGbaE
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Now he's a rockstar.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5RvtPliVl
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTzBXdNmHe
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Do trees poop?541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsN5y94B1w
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5feszfyqt
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnIqWoYVGm
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgalM75ukB
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvy3LkeElIA
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She couldn't control her pupils.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPAGADTOpQ
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What do peppers do when they're angry?541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGczPNpoU4
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They get jalapeño face.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRSaHVbSjY
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Today someone told me I am average.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRI4JCdrEXz
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I told them that's just mean.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjsDDyFjoR
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6D8VoHjoJ
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Pointless.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7bK7S3zet
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhlF0vCTIm
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0GZUCt3eT
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMMYJTxov8
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyAWbyZ13U
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I tried yesterday but I mist.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpajGQzp5nZ
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkjgoEU2hz
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3bsfWBpzG
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstfqN72Pia
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQFkalAjxc
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What has four wheels and flies?541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScutnuhyJ5
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A garbage truck.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhULxu0HwP
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2snpaIBSBa
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...so I pushed her over.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpAaQabp8q
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4E4FOVXkpi
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.541Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFVjlRKs3m
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