Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7n4h4FNeyC
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To lift his spirits.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyi9F05m4p
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6prIF1yaL2
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...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1sWG6lVrzE
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Claude.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeqk2wLmPS
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7GwCBAOXA
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO308Lseeiw
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04CZu24ohK
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Demeter wasn't working.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBD9v0zwnxU
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ReMTzzupU
Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuJZvSKfjX
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ012EHiVwSa
Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyC1UGkLRH
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0sC3ltEsp
What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CXSqYAHBJ
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ048weMvTcr
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzNW7Nw31r
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"Bison."812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sriPkJVSK
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Bread is like the sun.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gUFAlZ75f
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6glVe8Xts
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLdsAaKrWK
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GJVaYRwRb
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu58ldvO9h7
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2LeiBIXzz
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUA2o3pUBq
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97UPJrZ2ZK
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Its butt.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcLb4IwW1a
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRaqJRd4pH
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdSujSHsa4
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISBVIZNiD6
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz63czoqhST
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNm3ybG7P2
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbf5ub91wd
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First, a tractor.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yCnjhoblf
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7mQvlS5AX
Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsGkupk6Md
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXuWwIorI7
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFLkP9BMzP
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Gravy.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLr2sw1RuZX
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBIezTdEuR
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsiCHAKUBs
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GnR8d8ZO4
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Now he's a rockstar.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJggr1MOVFq
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvhGmd5JRl
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVARsGjWTjZ
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhC1yHamdh2
Do trees poop?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTydiccT3y
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...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF00yJICAuN
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RG9eHS4nI
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4a6zo1Kri2
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...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFloYmMujo
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8C0uPdCQNU
A "do-you-think-he-saurus."812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvov1lle42
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDqLvmH53p
Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzrrgEN7sJ
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...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5pHoFOf2i
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She couldn't control her pupils.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKK41f2YOhr
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What do peppers do when they're angry?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10ZhIS01Ma
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVi62kVgle
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyAwIjX256
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2eGXDrwYbV
They get jalapeño face.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOJJ0NLcu2
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Today someone told me I am average.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFkar3Beqb
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKv8VUCtYvT
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBiEpountK
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPYC8h1eYG
I told them that's just mean.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9SeXy9LM0
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jI21YIg5P
What do you call a pencil with two erasers?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Z9Y4jtLjZ
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qiXs81GmJ
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBofWxSkHU
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Pointless.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Lpdiqzf1m
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwlVmaUGhb
Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogJiIQwrMF
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycgCwY2XTT
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONhdFZnGel
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77aMy3Uffx
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9huHmp6FJd
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4s8CKMgDb
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcEJsNJCsm
Have you ever tried to catch fog?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8FmfgjVmm
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeU0s9n531
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtOhpxsKEq
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYzHf7c38J
I tried yesterday but I mist.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JlTlS3xVN
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEZpettHR9
Why can't you ever run through a campsite?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcj2BRU4zz
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriV6RdXwrD
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19QcuuxvWb
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPM4bxbh4n
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnBOwMVIcL
What country's capital is growing the fastest?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLey2xokxe
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQp2FzgYg9
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyvGHJzYsG
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9kq1GdKgi
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBA89Ahrsuf
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What has four wheels and flies?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVhIIsvPWh
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPNRTHqUAo
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJWooGJ1Ne
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A garbage truck.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjyMYCfzCd
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6SAMgncD0
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bfo1NB33a
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjbgXeekPR
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxx210b3BQ
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOrlBOKPZM
...so I pushed her over.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPkBMTYoyl
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8Ztxnzqgq
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡih4o4TDpLz
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNS86SjzqF
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6semmjNo9
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdCKt9Eph5
If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsSjSsm9Ch
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