Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYInn62OQT
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8HSwIug1Z
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKhkYt2XUj
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04bNyDoCO6
To lift his spirits.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR71JBzxPg1
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6CBOSoxUb
What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fmIiMWFDB
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhopdgqOUv1
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OlHAyaT1M
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucpUXbSKLp
Claude.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwO9Ag2GgJ
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeJ8oCYvk9
Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSCWvlIsbh
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzH0gHuToqE
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVlhkuwWod
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzSP7ywHim
Demeter wasn't working.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4WAvpYuCL
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpHcfTZPkA
Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1y2wS4dyNN
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aXQjzltnG
Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSRCki3bty
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JrtXZ4crE
What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJAhQRbFNn
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLdOnN4nDZ
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoc78rYRAMZ
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZhtNcJtgG
"Bison."479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwlBW5qVgv
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73JhVxzMyr
Bread is like the sun.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8KIteIouD
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkepGSWa5qZ
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUHGaj9etk
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSPyXwU1cj
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDx88MTrYif
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jaBE5mUSY
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRR6jP505Dm
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9vVGDV8kc
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonxfFrwZEf
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0ttNv7S6a
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8l9dGMT5e2
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPY5K3hvyVC
Its butt.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXhGNYgWUY
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KMnV6VkgD
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04XG4pFKOM
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrWhfTDFeS
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFEegj4FOm
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HBkoTuwqe
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCRVhGr4aw
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelS2QuP2ow
First, a tractor.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqZSJTRtBL
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8AgB6MtPr
Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1ntUB3UE2
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CtLGG8k9A
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOHn2wvmCe
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZnT7p0h5w
Gravy.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHB8gWIP5w7
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3CBgnuQWF
Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUQRsj9S0V
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpqvrdWl2p
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngijKeWysa
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6dSmUesBh
Now he's a rockstar.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKzF5ZfUXv
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYbW3j8Zs8
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1cP5AW0i3
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWH6hK3D094
Do trees poop?479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxOXMZeYUs
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29WzBAQAE0
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1Uqhkboto
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRFMknXS51
Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLRN5KHstQ
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEswxWmskbT
What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IzRkXvj8V
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUuxAaULYh
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRiCeeS9DO
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToRNKjXxHF
A "do-you-think-he-saurus."479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOpRCv0tX6
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpZFoRUzSP
Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRVzvRCncY
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPgoKWfe1r
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyelFlJvtq4
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELso5pQkQ6
She couldn't control her pupils.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOsmAiT1Bb
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvNSWMKvD1
What do peppers do when they're angry?479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViV1QLFZEp
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NdwaoS6FP
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZWk0yWhec
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvylaY4yde
They get jalapeño face.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4COigIdXww
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvXH1WoehL
Today someone told me I am average.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaP64w5XTrO
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnIY9aepwG
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiBEWMRalM
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMybBBjk5YX
I told them that's just mean.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7iAl8rl2t
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7hm3LHVwx
What do you call a pencil with two erasers?479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnaycE4yas
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjuOIszzR3
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqo9kvLxWIY
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyMnMeDwRz
Pointless.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLGntV5ZDq
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXUZ0VlRKa
Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTYIJu5AlU
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGaQdMfiA8
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1sf7PpcFH
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGa6LxyrQB7
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGN9M6JnPY
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzrPjC2Yeu
He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CsYqQLGqX
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzdh3PdQgD
Have you ever tried to catch fog?479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPreDi1HMh
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzCg3EdXkW
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlRD6n0Wdq
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1MqEsdDQ5
I tried yesterday but I mist.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eqAWyIH1Y
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpghzqrwPV
Why can't you ever run through a campsite?479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvvGZ32pzE
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiYWmVIM8O
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYn7rUOtuKw
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnnVd12qGA
You can only ran—it's always past tents.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ095Xju5GY6
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0m4MdldfQ
What country's capital is growing the fastest?479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyBsFkYhLz
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdomGk5zlR
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lWsgr4nY1
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNh2a2Ns64
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZy9HQrKGs
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgD7GO3LHL
What has four wheels and flies?479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFWq9lFCL1
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxKNnBoMUz
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsL52P2O9r
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwpqG3hsnj
A garbage truck.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxVjA3PaCU
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNk5zqzWCW7
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWESLmVEkGL
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vQqZIj1nm
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GHMX45zYu
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsYUq7gPGp
...so I pushed her over.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWncDZ3Kna
---479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRNexYLymr
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZcQfIzCHL
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYVNPkSEHp
...479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBxRVI8nEl
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCt7dQCJ78
If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeDfLpNeHe
---