Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwRuWf7vUP
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To lift his spirits.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8MGG9uAno
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwuZQD6Mlf
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Claude.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbSg66ABF9
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCfp1Q7boR
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Demeter wasn't working.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJp9cnSrcf
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmxywrAwlA
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3ciguvNzR
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxurLCWH9FC
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"Bison."436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBr56XY3Eu1
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Bread is like the sun.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ELpSlXpEb
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh46e9MVyBQ
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlGD3Sfh5R
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFV9nNjs0D
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Its butt.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmgaRWznkz
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlflwqx0f5x
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4U9MOMKWly
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First, a tractor.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf07J6nvvj3
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rVXgSARHq
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Gravy.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8xouj4qAn
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO39RJoYeYs
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Now he's a rockstar.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYK2e7hwAeX
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZJF1twY2k
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Do trees poop?436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlRIKFNcvh
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjaREkLgZc
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rHADbprQf
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1OO8N1aUF
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXlWh8828i
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She couldn't control her pupils.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiURQ2oM3O
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What do peppers do when they're angry?436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa888V8FCyp
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They get jalapeño face.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8lX5pfOoE
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Today someone told me I am average.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7u1ynXc9T
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I told them that's just mean.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6qMj5GVRl
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5Lxo5vgbw
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Pointless.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5L4PrKuB2
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6hIiPncIe
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rySEELyeB
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzWW9xNDo6
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYGFgr5eKu
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I tried yesterday but I mist.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdp8bHn2tNT
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjQiJavgJ5
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCON3yBT01
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZN78u0Kyl
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5YPDY819P
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What has four wheels and flies?436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1FEGLgkdZ
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A garbage truck.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCeJSfFSkL
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypOqKAs0rt
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...so I pushed her over.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGGA3oU2Io
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHZ4LIcfGr
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0F2J97yBFK
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