Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVh5Pv1qNv
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To lift his spirits.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJ4LwT5AWx
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTS6NFI29oE
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡba79fzblls
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfW14Juree
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Claude.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMWYf1TZSc
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZWV4M5Hl3
Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRS6WTXjQBu
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgkfoyo2rf
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPid6aZ222U
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrBOp7OBHY
Demeter wasn't working.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJHu656Qed
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oYEd429A2
Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79mRyc9bjg
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETF4rRzJBK
Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZs1PRRJfD
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsw4QJCHCNs
What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNELqyEMmlA
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kihPaGT7j
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6YWlWjK1Y
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"Bison."812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0pDsOgHgk
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Bread is like the sun.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqz7JQMVcG
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...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0wQPO5CGc
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusK33JC9Kh
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIiNX7k5H8
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEJSas3U48
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUR4QYER48
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7nzYMNqiL
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsShdTLvzJ
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfU4Qzodb6R
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Its butt.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnE1ldVlV6
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTuiin385V
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIJeNiSc6R
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9Pqcx8W62
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaP0K0UmlnY
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...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTSruZNCOB
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First, a tractor.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyVZJ0V0ay
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSueGz6duW
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf75Dp0sMir
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSx7LpgCZEt
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNeFGxjjRD
Gravy.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuUjxyR7ex
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1guwejlHZX
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...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nRBJlz7SW
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Now he's a rockstar.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6SE4yF7Y4
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqoAeCeNlD
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSsZ11hJnF
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Do trees poop?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiI0LucOrVA
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...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNwFDkVygU
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjTioyrAsE
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxj37olzlwK
What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9dmwkiQQf
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPulULV08Gs
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYt2APtvl5
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrCFWNOOIG
A "do-you-think-he-saurus."812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSqZzZi9t4
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCaw8oxDvK
Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyH8DryWXE
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...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbT6zZ7NPR
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She couldn't control her pupils.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWB8C2bOfT
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuEkjzbBSx
What do peppers do when they're angry?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3Fpgpn8Hz
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6skK1A7sGT
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALxhllD1KH
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVxTNXOgX4
They get jalapeño face.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQthhDPQCR
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuKfKl5ZgP
Today someone told me I am average.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVq2gqyAPB
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yjjglxFDv
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmcl3zOVFI
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOTKTmHCiM
I told them that's just mean.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncry3ObwQI
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8CPnRyzCR
What do you call a pencil with two erasers?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwnzBR3UTX
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcj5jchuuQP
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhojKW8QY09
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAvHurN4WH
Pointless.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VgMBTxueF
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5MJjdy35v
Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9k5oltFd7a
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpYVU6ODf8
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBv221ssebR
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaqHUy3VEF
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSce45eXbC
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSFUPYPK9O
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUNuSH6Rz1
Have you ever tried to catch fog?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAW6zfnYQKv
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8owtN02TrM
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlEV8b21gb
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmQuvxjehA
I tried yesterday but I mist.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaId0Ebekc
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPzttPUuoc
Why can't you ever run through a campsite?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLLaMsr9iH
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNg9eOfsyAL
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SeQr0Ix09
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UwmfVuNAc
You can only ran—it's always past tents.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Jt7waxCis
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0bKNB6Bio
What country's capital is growing the fastest?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrvbHbc1Rp
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1sJEoeKOJQ
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBNgC2HdKt
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3hAjrUE8w
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePa6Kcf2ew
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRdtuKU5PT
What has four wheels and flies?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsRE11k2vP
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuekhMtIaeZ
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyBnzcezD0
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBMmZNo3N1
A garbage truck.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZhURIqSp7
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtzRXiZzgU
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8IQOoqh5i
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EITvOA5Nh
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBqjNSIceF
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIjneAONO0
...so I pushed her over.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7v1Od9zX6l
---812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzfbMd7Bte
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnUrNX576q
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQTDW2ohQq
...812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVRWOzs5EW
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAZGhp8hrK
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