Something just to let out - Castle Adrift

I wrote this poem as a letter to my brother right after we had a fight because he betrayed me. I never actually sent it to him though. While I could have come up with a fantasy scenario that had nothing to do with me. I chose my sincere and honest emotions of the moment knowing they'd be more organic. Please enjoy.

I know that I have changed

But I love you still and I always will

I know that you can see me

Even if you do through your filter

And I wish you knew that I care

You don’t know how it hurts

Standing here alone

Tormented by my thoughts

That you are gone

Even if I could embrace you

I wouldn’t feel your warmth, All I’d feel is scorn

Even if you did love me

I'd wake from that dream feeling more empty

And I wish you could listen

Then you'd know how it hurts

Lying there awake

Crying slowly losing sleep

Can't I drift away ?

And I just let you lie to me

But I never believed I doubted every word

I'll tell the truth I'm angry

You've become so blind, forget that you were mine

I'm not trying to condemn you

But keep this in your heart

Cause you tore mine apart

Please remember me

Even when you are gone

I don't want to lie to anyone

But I lie to myself, saying it's okay

I know that you can feel me

But all is numb and cold, as our dream went up in flames

I see how you have changed

But I love you still and I always will

We both have our emotions

But it hurts so much to feel

Someone tell me what is real

It hurts too much to know

I'm scared to live, I wanna go

Can't I drift away ?

Help me drift away

I want to drift away

To that castle place

Where everything I told may come true

Where I might just find you

And grow story worth telling

I trace back every direction so I won’t lose it

There’s a castle in a forest by an ocean of soot

I’ll swim across to get to the side where you are

And maybe I’m lucky the waves will take have the journey away from me

I know you’ll never apologize

So I won’t force you I’ll promise this instead

I’m no longer empty, I don’t need to drift away

I’m ready to forgive you

For when you made my heart of stone bleed

I’m not happy my life’s not intriguing

Even so I still have joy and hope I wish

That I had enough time

To grow a story worth telling you.

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