真人真事師生戀《最接近的陌生距離》 - 第六十四章之二

我喺佢身後面輕輕搭住佢膊頭，好想講句安慰說話。

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Miss將手放喺我手背度，喊住咁講：「我其實應該要開心架。但我好內疚。你見到架啦，我細佬嘅頭髮⋯⋯」

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「嗯，我見到呀。好奇怪，好稀疏。」

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「因為當佢驚、緊張、焦慮嘅時候就會掹自己啲頭髮。嗚⋯⋯係我⋯⋯最衰都係我！」Miss激動起嚟，就掩面痛哭。正當我想從後攬住佢時，Miss轉身，正面對住我喺我懷中大喊一場。

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「⋯⋯嗚⋯⋯佢喺學校試過打傷同學，又打老師。冇人撳得住佢。梓康以前唔係咁架⋯⋯嗚⋯⋯佢唔跩架⋯⋯。係我好任性咁走咗，掉低咗佢⋯⋯係我搞到佢咁！」

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「盈盈，你唔需要將所有責任都歸咎喺自己身上架。」

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「如果我唔走，我就可以保護到佢！我係梓康嘅避難所呀！對唔住⋯⋯梓康⋯⋯對唔住⋯⋯」Miss喊得好大聲，激動到打我心口，講：「梓康⋯⋯應該要憎我、嬲我。係我掉低咗佢！」

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Miss抬頭凝望住我，滿面熱淚：「⋯⋯今日同細佬傾時，佢掛住玩模型車唔理我。我以為佢真係嬲我，但我走嘅時候，梓康竟然話：『家姐，下次見。』！」

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Miss抱住我喊到收唔到聲，我聽得出佢內心好複雜。Miss預咗梓康會嬲佢，但偏偏梓康冇嬲佢，咁反而令佢更內疚。

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我由得Miss喊，唔講安慰說話。有時過多嘅安慰反而幫唔到佢。過咗一陣，Miss喊聲慚慚收細，深吸咗一口氣就講：「低B仔，好多謝你。你今日幫咗我好多好多呀。」

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「我⋯⋯幫咗你？我覺得我咩都做唔到。唉⋯⋯好廢，我最多係周圍行，去下廁所⋯⋯冇架啦。」

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「你架玩具巴士呢？你幫我同細佬做咗個橋樑。梓康好固執架，當佢做緊一樣嘢時就一定要做晒先會做其他嘢。我自己都忘記咗呢點，唉⋯⋯因為佢啲麻煩嘢太多。當時我只係識諗快啲傾完再處理轉監護人嘅事。我去到今日⋯⋯都仲係唔識關心佢⋯⋯」Miss停一停，再講：「我竟然同佢啲老師一樣，夾硬要佢『停車』。」

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Miss回望我，笑說：「架車上咗公路可以隨便停架咩？」

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「哈⋯⋯我嗰時都係咁諗。」

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「所以低B仔你真係好叻。我嗰時仲奇怪緊你做咩要同梓康一齊癲。係你令我記起點樣同梓康相處⋯⋯原來梓康冇嬲我⋯⋯」Miss咬一咬唇，強忍淚水，細細默說：「⋯⋯去到總站⋯⋯就要休息食飯架啦⋯⋯盈盈家姐陪住你⋯⋯好唔好？」Miss哽咽咁講緊過去咗嘅回憶。

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「返晒嚟啦⋯⋯啲回憶⋯⋯」Miss抱得我好緊好緊，喊聲由細漸大，再一次慢慢激動起嚟：「好掛住你地⋯⋯細佬⋯⋯媽咪⋯⋯爸爸⋯⋯嗚⋯⋯」

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我聽到心都酸埋。喺我放眼維港景色，有一幅砌圖憑空出現喺我眼前，係Miss 嘅全家福。Miss嘅樣好完整，但身邊嘅人，佢兩個細佬同爸爸媽媽就係散晒嘅砌圖。我唔知仲可以再為Miss做啲咩，聽佢喊成咁就知道呢一幅係冇可能完成嘅砌圖。我只能聽住Miss嘅哭聲，無助咁攬住佢。

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「低B仔⋯⋯」

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「嗯？」

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「今日好多謝你⋯⋯」

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「嗯⋯⋯」

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「我知你諗緊咩架。你覺得自己冇用幫唔到我係咪？」

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「嗯⋯⋯」

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「傻瓜！」佢大大力彈我額頭，一雙淚眼充滿感動望住我。Miss邊笑邊喊話：「你今日為我做嘅事情，唔只令我有返啲希望。而且⋯⋯係得你一個先做到⋯⋯」

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Miss表情悲喜交集，佢笑住咁喊，慚慚流露出幸福感。但係我總覺得呢份幸福感卻隱約地夾雜住一啲苦澀。

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「我同過好多男仔拍拖⋯⋯但佢地大部分都好自私，同我一齊嘅目的，一係想威、想炫耀，想激自己嘅ex、想自己開心⋯⋯甚至⋯⋯剩係想同我上床⋯⋯」

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佢提到「上床」時，語氣變得悲憤起嚟。Miss低頭忍一忍淚水，佢向我望嚟時，眼角已經流淚，卻一面幸福。我覺得佢唔係扮出嚟想令我安心，我解釋唔到，總之佢呢刻嘅笑係好甜好自在，佢好想講我知只要有我喺度，佢就會好幸福。

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「我所認識嘅男朋友當中⋯⋯冇一個⋯⋯係冇一個——」

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「——好似你咁愛我呀！」

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「好似你咁珍惜我！」

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「唔會夾硬去佔有我！」

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「我感受到⋯⋯切切實實地感受到你對我嘅愛呀！」

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Miss每一句說話都入晒落我心入面，觸動到我都要喊出嚟。我輕輕撫Miss面龐，溫柔咁捧喺手內。望住佢充滿住幸福感嘅雙眼，想用一個親吻去表達我嘅愛意⋯⋯

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我卻落空。

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我張開眼嚟，卻見到本來一面幸福嘅Miss卻慚慚變得唔再幸福，好似有一滴墨水喺清水中化開，有一種難過和傷痛喺佢雙眼、淚水擴散出嚟。

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突然間，Miss眼神一怔，好似被一段回憶所點醒！甜蜜嘅氣氛被Miss悲傷嘅情緒驅散！

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「盈盈？」我憂心咁問佢。

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「你可唔可以⋯⋯唔好咁愛我呀？」

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「盈盈，做咩事呀？好地地點解要咁講⋯⋯」

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「嗄⋯⋯！低B仔⋯⋯你可唔可以答應我？」Miss刻意避開我眼神，深深透一口氣。佢大大力咬唇，好似掙扎緊一啲事情。只聽見佢幾下深呼吸，佢哽咽咁話：「如果⋯⋯如果有一日，你遇到啱嘅人，遇到真心愛你嘅人——」

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「——你想走就走啦——」

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「——我唔介意你拋棄我架⋯⋯嗚⋯⋯！」

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剎那間！我腦空白一片！

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我地頭先唔係仲Sweet緊架咩？點解佢突然講到⋯⋯講到——

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——好似想分手咁嘅？！

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