真人真事師生戀《最接近的陌生距離》 - 第五十五章之四

「我爆晒爸爸啲衰嘢！媽咪好嬲，佢怪我！怪我冇大冇細，令爸爸喺一眾親朋好友面前冇晒面子！

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媽咪佢⋯⋯打咗我兩巴！佢喺成個家族面前打咗我兩巴！

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我嗰時嘅心碎晒。媽咪打完我之後佢自己都喊，佢好似想講我知：『我一早知啦！你想我可以點呀？』但呢啲都唔係打我嘅理由！我幫緊你架媽咪！我好錫你架！我愛你架媽咪！

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我好痛呀⋯⋯所以⋯⋯成家人我最憎係媽咪呀！

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佢已經知道爸爸嘅真面目，但佢仍然為咗呢個衰人⋯⋯打我⋯⋯」

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我同Miss攬住一齊喊，我實在好心痛佢經歷過呢啲事情。過咗一陣，我同佢都冷靜落嚟，互相幫大家抹眼淚。

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「Sorry⋯⋯」Miss抱住我面，一面疚意咁講：「我整喊咗你。」

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「冇事⋯⋯冇事⋯⋯」我喺佢額頭錫咗一啖，再一啖。然後哽咽咁講：「咁你之後點？然後就因為咁離開佢地？」

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Miss靜咗一、兩秒，然後轉身背住我，揭起件衫，向我展示腰背上嘅紋身。我一早知佢有紋身，但卻唔知紋身嘅來歷。然後Miss繼續同我講：「我決定唔再做佢地眼中嘅乖女，你要我讀名校，我偏唔要！」

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「我受夠！我16年嘅人生都比佢地兩個摧毀晒！自從媽咪打我之後，我唔再為呢個家庭負責！簡單講，我開始順住自己嘅心意生活。我要做一樣嘢——報仇！

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我爸爸本身喺教育界好出名，教出嚟嘅學生好多都做到名人。所以我清楚我爸爸最怕就係被人話——『黃漢榮校長唔識教自己個女！』

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我嗰時讀嘅係一間名校中嘅名校，所有老師到校長都識我爸爸。只要我學壞，我就可以落我爸爸面！當我聽到『黃校長真係唔識教自己個女！』哈⋯⋯真係好痛快！

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由嗰時開始，我就放縱自己。而我腰背上嘅紋身，就係我識咗男朋友時紋，個紋身我特登紋比我爸爸媽媽睇。我嗰時好想激死佢地！

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16歲開始我經常夜返，跟人去蒲，然後開始唔想返屋企。不過玩還玩，我差啲蝕比啲賤男之後就學識小心啲。只會去女性朋友過夜。

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爸爸媽媽完全對我死咗心。呢啲雙向架，唔係我令你地死心。係你地令我死心先呀！

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去到18歲時，因為我入到大學，可以住hall，我就正式離開呢個屋企。」

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「吓？！」我好驚訝咁講：「你咁嘅環境又成日出去玩，你仲考得到大學架？！」

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「嗯！」Miss雖然仲喊緊，但佢呢下點頭又顯得好自豪：「咁我真係叻呀嘛！」然後佢又捐返個頭落我心口，繼續講：「當時我父母都奈我唔何。跟住我就自己一個人生活⋯⋯不過⋯⋯」

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Miss情緒又激動起嚟，邊喊邊講埋落去⋯⋯

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「呢五年其實發生好多事，我以為自己唔理屋企會生活得好好。但唔係⋯⋯

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我媽咪⋯⋯佢好憎我。憎到唔想再見到我。我以為佢憎我，我會好開心，報到仇。但我內心嘅深處真係好痛。我好愛媽咪呀！但我同時好憎佢對我嘅陶造，一切只係為咗個衰老豆！我媽咪冇讚過我一句！我教識梓康做功課、安定好佢情緒⋯⋯冇呀，我媽咪唔識欣賞我架！我好憎媽咪⋯⋯但我好愛媽咪⋯⋯

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而梓康⋯⋯我好對唔住佢。呢排屋企出事時，我先知梓康因為冇咗我，情況愈來愈差。成個屋企佢最信任係我。但我⋯⋯我掉低咗佢！佢情緒出晒問題，返學會失控打人！最後無何奈何之下，佢被媽咪送咗去群育學校寄宿。

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梓桓更加唔洗講。佢好聰明，聰明到以為個世界係為咗佢而轉！爸爸縱佢，媽咪管唔到佢。結果⋯⋯佢喺出面跟咗啲壞人。

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我爸爸所期望嘅仔女同屋企、我媽媽辛苦維持嘅家，散晒！而呢啲都係我離開之後先發生！」

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Miss又激動到喊。我喺佢耳邊講：「我感覺到你好內疚。」

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Miss喺我懷中點頭，哽咽講：「屋企散晒，係關我事。」

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「唔係呀。我覺得係因為你爸爸先搞到咁！」

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「低B仔你睇下。」Miss拉高衣袖，露出已經淡掉嘅爪痕，佢講：「嗰日你都見到架啦。我隻手傷晒，李Sir個頭都傷咗。」

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「係囉！我想知點解！」

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「我媽咪鬱到有情緒病。佢一見我就憎！情緒一爆時就發晒癲要自殺！我拉住佢，佢就打我，連李Sir都撳唔住佢！當時佢話——」

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『我老公同我離婚！都係因為你！』

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「媽咪將責任推晒我身上！話我由16歲起學壞，去玩、去蒲。梓桓就有樣學樣！跟埋我一齊壞！

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梓康冇咗我身邊，媽咪盡晒力教唔到佢！

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頭家散晒，爸爸冇眼睇！原來佢喺我大學畢業一年，佢知我搵到嘢做之後，就決定同媽咪離婚，去同佢下屬一齊！

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我唔知點解爸爸要揀呢一日！我只知道媽咪一直所努力嘅嘢唔只白費！佢嘅希望係摧毀晒！佢一下子接受唔到就崩潰咗！然後媽咪將所有嘢都推晒落我度！一切都因為我太壞，身為大女唔做榜樣！我唔孝順！我唔幫佢！令到頭家⋯⋯⋯散晒⋯⋯」

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Miss一直哭訴，我感覺到佢嘅疲累唔止身體同精神，連靈魂都好疲累。

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