真人真事師生戀《最接近的陌生距離》 - 第六十五章之三

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放假仲要溫書，諗起都覺得癲。我碌下Facebook見到其他同學唔係去唱K就溜冰；唔係返大陸玩就係去下星馬泰日韓、澳加北美。食嘢嘅食嘅，玩嘅玩，每一張相都好似諷刺緊我咁——嘿！邊係串我呀，即使我溫書，但我好幸福⋯⋯啊唔係，係好「性福」啊。因為4A班雄性動物每日朝思暮想嘅女王大人陪我過！聖！誕！節！呀！

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通常溫到中午Miss會放過我架啦！我地冇地方去就會留喺屋企hea。

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「啊！今日有啲凍凍。快啲拎被被嚟。」Miss喺床上對我撒嬌。

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因為Miss屋企就冇電視，所以惟一娛樂就係蛇喺佢間房，用佢部Desk top睇戲。

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「史迪仔！史迪仔！我要睇史迪仔仔！」Miss好似細路女咁期待影片播放。

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我同Miss披住張被，窩喺床上睇戲。唉⋯⋯點解係睇卡通片？我真係冇興趣。

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咁無聊，不如搵啲嘢搞下⋯⋯咦？搞？啊哈！

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當Miss變到小朋友咁投入喺史迪仔嘅世界時，我隻手已經非禮緊佢！

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「喂！」Miss啤實我：「你摸緊咩呀。」

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「你個屎忽。」

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「拎返隻手出嚟呀！」

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「車！」

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我邊咁易放棄呀。喺掂到Miss屎忽嗰下，我已經開始扯緊旗啦！我隻手放喺佢條腰度，再借啲嘢意潛入去件衫入面！

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手一張，牢牢抓住Miss個胸！

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「喂呀！」Miss嬲到拎返我隻手出嚟，鬧咗句：「我睇緊戲呀！」

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「盈盈呀⋯⋯我扯咗旗呀⋯⋯不如我地⋯⋯嘿嘿！」

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Miss瞪咗我一眼，鬧：「自己搞掂啦！」

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「唉⋯⋯」

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「成日喺人地做緊正經嘢時搞人！乞人憎！」

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我反佢一下白眼，細細聲講：「車！我溫書嗰時你夠撩我啦。」

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「你講多次！！」

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「對唔住Miss Wong！」

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「哼！」Miss堅嬲咗，但佢一見到史迪仔就開心晒。

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睇見佢睇得咁開心，難得做一日細路女，無理由阻住佢嘅。惟有陪佢一齊睇啦！

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「嘻嘻⋯⋯」Miss眼仔碌碌望住瑩幕，好似一下子回到六歲咁。

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嗯⋯⋯其實都唔係好悶啫。Miss有佢嘅快樂，我都有。我可以欣賞Miss可愛表情。劇情去到搞笑位時，Miss笑到好似細路女咁。當劇情去到啲催淚位時，佢又跟埋一齊喊。

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呢個會將感情流露得咁自然嘅人，真係我所認識嘅女王大人？其實應該話，呢刻嘅Miss先係最真實嘅佢。所以我先話唔洗羨慕其他同學可以周圍玩囉！佢地個女王大人而家成個細路女挨喺我身邊呀！

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Miss睇緊戲時瞄咗我一眼，就有啲抱怨講：「我都知套戲對你來講係悶架啦！」

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佢講完之後就偷偷地摸緊我大髀，仲向「匡仔」嘅位置摸上去。最抵死係，Miss一路摸緊上嚟，但佢仲係若無其事咁欣賞卡通片。

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當Miss摸到「匡仔」時，我嘅血開始熱緊。只感到身體有一處開始變緊石頭。

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「咦？」Miss叫咗聲。

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「嗯？」

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「係咩嚟架？你收埋咗啲咩啊？」佢隻手喺我褲浪上面又按又磨，兩眼望實瑩幕繼續話：「咁得意嘅？識變大喎？」

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「係囉，咩嚟架？」我扮傻咁講：「你一摸就咁樣，好奇怪。」

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「可以變到幾大架？」Miss扮傻個樣真係好可愛，好似十幾歲啲性知識貧乏嘅學生妹咁：「係咪會變到好大架？」

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「你個口有幾大呀？你放唔晒嘅話就真係好大啦！」

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「真係架？」Miss眼仔碌碌講：「暖笠笠好舒服。嘻⋯⋯好凍凍呀。我想取暖呀。」Miss嘻笑一聲，就捐咗入去被度！之後我感覺到條褲被人除咗！

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跟住⋯⋯跟住係點？

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呃⋯⋯呃⋯⋯個衰妹又亂咁放嘢入口啦！

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嗚⋯⋯嘩⋯⋯佢做咩⋯⋯勁咗咁多架！搞到我好似抽筋咁，兩手發癲咁抓住自己頭髮。我個嘴不自覺大叫——

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「也～～也咩～～～爹！！」

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今個聖誕假真係好難忘，唔只好性福！其實仲好溫馨添！

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「得未呀？好攰呀！」我已經保持溫書嘅姿勢足足有成個鐘。

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「忍耐下啦，未得呀！」Miss喺旁邊拎起畫筆畫緊我。

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今日同之前一樣朝早要溫書。但Miss 今日唔知發咗咩神經，興之所致想畫油畫。仲要搵我做畫畫對象。

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「我溫書有咩咁好畫呀？」

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「嘻⋯⋯我覺得你溫書時候嘅認真樣最靚仔！」

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「係咩？睇過。」我擰去Miss度望：「嘩！係好靚仔喎⋯⋯我個背脊！」

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原來Miss將我畫到好似賭神咁，剩係畫背面！不過老實講，藝術嘅嘢我識條鐵。

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「鬼叫你個樣好畢加索咩！」Miss 瞄一瞄我，畫多幾筆。

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「咩畢加索呀？」

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Miss喺畫後面伸個頭出嚟，笑說「抽象呀！」

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「哦⋯⋯抽象⋯⋯」我低頭笑一笑，但諗多幾秒先恍然大悟，話：「喂！抽象畫啲眼耳口鼻唔啱位架喎！」

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「低B！隔幾秒先知！」

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「咁衰！打你pat pat先！」

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「坐返埋位呀！未畫完架！」

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住得Miss屋企，都要守下規矩同負下責任嘅。Miss做人好有規律，亦好鍾意整齊乾淨，之前睇佢教員室個位都知。

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基本上每日早上八點食完早餐，我就會溫書，佢就改簿備課。中午食Lunch加睇史迪仔。我食完Lunch又要被佢「取下暖」，幫佢補充一下「蛋白質」。抖多一陣就一齊做家務。

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不過今日做家務時，就即刻撞晒板。

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「謝子匡！」Miss喺騎樓好嬲咁大叫！我即刻過去睇咩事！我見到佢醬紅塊面，叉晒腰鬧我：「睇下你做咗啲咩嚟！」

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Miss此時喺洗衣機度拎咗我條牛仔褲出嚟，上面痴住咗好多紙巾碎。佢喺褲袋一摷，就摷咗濕到爛晒嘅紙巾，好大聲鬧：「有冇搞錯架你！放入洗衣機前又唔check清楚有冇紙巾！搞到成個洗衣機污糟晒啦！」然後佢拎自己條裙出嚟，再鬧：「你累埋我條裙呀！死八公！死八公！你唔係第一次架啦！」

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咁我抵死嘅，基本上次次一去Miss屋企過夜洗衫，一定會發生呢啲事。鬧呢樣都算，女人嬲起上嚟真係搵「舊屎」嚟講。

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「舊屎」？舊時呀！

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「做任何野都咁粗心大意！提咗咁多次都唔改！幾多歲呀你！？讀書又係咁！考試又係咁！上次統測呀！嗰題呀！《醉翁亭記》呀！叫咗你睇清楚題目先答架啦！成日答非所問！明明識做但做錯晒⋯⋯仲有呀！提咗你幾多次要轉冬季校服呀！唔係我幫你買校服呀！你一早被人記過啦！」

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嘩⋯⋯真係搵嘢鬧。仲唔moon walk走人？

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「啊⋯⋯哈⋯⋯」走人先⋯⋯

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「⋯⋯未鬧完你呀！企喺度！」Miss衝出客廳，好似喺學校咁罰我企：「有老師向我投訴呀！你呀！專揀佢嗰堂瞓覺！仲有呀！10月13日嗰日做咩遲到架？9月26日你成半日唔知去咗邊，我都未罰你添呀！12月1日放咗學做咩唔去課外活動！你蛇咗去邊⋯⋯」

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係⋯⋯係⋯⋯知道⋯⋯知道⋯⋯

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我一邊掃地，一邊被Miss精神轟炸。我都唔知佢鬧到幾時，但我知道係今次學識咗老豆嘅生存大法——點頭！認錯！

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唔係話唔會死，係死得冇咁慘啫。

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掃完地，我就拖地。Miss仲嬲嬲地抹緊嘢。剛好Hifi播緊Miss好鍾意嘅迪士尼音樂。

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「⋯⋯I can show you the world⋯⋯」

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我趁機會氹返Miss，拎地拖扮咪stand，截喺Miss面前又唱又跳。

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「做緊家務呀！唔好阻住晒啦！」Miss堅嬲堅鬧，但望多我兩眼又忍唔住笑出嚟。

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然後都掉低地拖，攬佢腰，捉佢手跳舞。

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「喂呀！痴線，地下濕好易跣親架！」

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我唔理Miss，亦唔理我地識唔識跳舞，我剩係想氹下佢。

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「仲嬲緊我？」

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「你未道歉喎。」

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「老婆對唔住。」

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「有話嫁俾你咩？」

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Miss雙手抱我面就錫咗落嚟。唔需要太多前戲，我地好快嘴得激烈起嚟。Miss激動到跳埋上嚟，兩隻腳鉗實我腰。我就抱住佢邊錫邊走入佢房。

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之後發生咩事⋯⋯我地番外篇再講啦，嘿嘿！

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