After the custody trial, Anthony began to show up at Jim's house before much more often than before. Even though Anthony knew that there was nothing he could say to help Jim completely feel better, Anthony thought it was best to keep Jim accompanied as much as possible. While Jim liked spending time with Anthony, it didn't affect his mood in the slightest.
Jim's issues with Chris and Julia in the past had caused him large amounts of stress that had been much greater than ever before. The stress and anxiety that Jim felt as he waited months and months for the girls' first visit was about a hundred times worse than that. Jim's stress prevented him from feeling any amount of happiness or having any positive thoughts at all. The stress also made Jim unable to focus on anything going on around him.
Jim wasn't sure if it was a good idea to return to A&M the following semester due to all of his problems, but he decided to do so anyway. Jim didn't return to his TA job due to his injury, but he continued taking the classes he would need to receive his postdoctoral degree. Sure enough, Jim was hardly able to focus on any of his classes because of all his stress. His performance in the classes became so low that his professors became shocked, many asking if everything was okay with him. Each time, Jim would simply reply: "It's complicated." Jim eventually realized that this wasn't working out and he dropped all of his classes halfway through the semester. Jim wasn't even sure if he still had any interest in becoming a college professor at this point.
Several people suggested that Jim get counseling, but he refused to do so. If Jim went to counseling, they would only help him cope with his stress. Basically, they would tell him that he needs to learn to accept that he's hardly going to see Cassie and Meagan as they grew up. Just the thought of someone telling him this disgusted Jim on every level.
Jim had quit his job at the convenient store about a month before returning to school. After deciding not to return to his TA job, Jim realized that he was going to still need to find a job to pay his bills. He wasn't able to return to the convenient store due to them finding a replacement not long after he left, so he eventually had to settle for a part-time job at Whataburger. After dropping all of his classes, Jim began working full-time. Jim soon began to hate working at Whataburger even more than the convenient store. Jim had already been dealing with anxiety much worse than ever before and having to work late nights at a fast-food restaurant just made him feel much worse.
The court allowed Jim one phone call with the girls each week, but Jim already knew from the beginning that Julia would be much too stubborn to follow through with this. Sure enough, Julia's phone would go straight to voicemail anytime Jim tried calling her. After several weeks of failed attempts, Jim eventually just gave up. At one point, he called one of the attorneys in Concord to tell him that Julia was not obeying the court order, but nobody ever called him back afterwards. Nobody from the family court seemed to even care about Jim.
Julia never bothered to return to the house to retrieve any of her or the girls' belongings, so all of Cassie and Meagan's toys, clothes, and drawings remained at the house. Jim often spent his time just sitting in the girls' rooms and staring at everything, imagining that the girls were there playing with their toys or sleeping in their beds. Sometimes, he would lie down on Cassie's bed and look through all of her drawings of cats. He then would remember all of the times that Cassie had excitingly shown him all of her drawings and him telling her that he loved them. One of the only times that Cassie had not drawn a picture of a cat was when she drew a picture of her and Jim holding hands. "I Love you Daddy" was written at the top of the drawing.
"Did you write that, Sweetie?" Jim had asked Cassie when she showed him the drawing.
"No, Miss Kate did," Cassie had replied. "I didn't know how to write it, so she did. But that's what I wanted to write. Because I love you, Daddy."
"Thank you, Sweetie. I love you, too."
Cassie then smiled and kissed Jim on the cheek.
When Jim found the drawing and that memory returned to him, he began to cry very hard once again.
Please move faster, time, Jim thought as he cried. Please just move faster. I can't deal with this. I just need to be with them again.
As Cassie and Meagan's first visit neared, Jim began to get overly excited and overly stressed at the same time. He was excited at finally getting to see the girls again, but stressed as he knew he was going to dread the moment they had to leave. Then it would be another several months before he got to see them again. At this point, Jim knew that it was best to just focus on the positive and not worry about the negative until it actually came. This was more advice that he used to give to Anthony.
The day before Cassie and Meagan were supposed to arrive, Jim began getting everything ready. He bought all of the ingredients for the girls' favorite meals (plenty of spaghetti), bought two gallons of chocolate milk, bought two large sets of crayons and a large stack of paper, made sure all of the parts of Candy Land were together (the girls sometimes liked to take parts of board games out of there boxes), and washed the girls' princess dresses. Jim hadn't been able to get all of the tomato soup stains off of Cassie's dress, but he was sure she wouldn't care. Jim levels of excitement went through the roof as he got everything ready. He was sure that the girls were going to have to have so much fun with him this weekend.
Jim's excitement rose even higher as he woke up the next morning and started his final preparations. He wanted to make sure that everything was completely set up and ready before Cassie and Meagan arrived, that way his time spent this weekend was only on playing with them. Jim spent several hours cooking all of the spaghetti he bought that Cassie and Meagan could happily enjoy for the next few nights. He made several sandwiches for them to eat for the next few lunches, he set up Cassie's tea cup set, he cleaned and organized the girls' playroom, he got Candy Land set up, and he covered up the chocolate cake that he intended to surprise the girls with after dinner. At about two in the afternoon, he did one final check to make sure that everything was perfect and then left the house to go pick up the girls. Before heading to the airport, Jim first stopped at Wal-Mart and bought two giant teddy bears.
Jim arrived at the airport about a quarter before four. Julia was supposed to arrive with the girls no later than six, giving Jim over two hours to just sit and think some more about the upcoming weekend. Jim knew he was going to have a lot of fun playing with Cassie and Meagan this weekend, but what excited him the most about it was that he was finally going to see their happiness again. Seeing the girls happy was what warmed Jim's heart the most. Jim wouldn't have cared if Cassie and Meagan ended up wanting to do something different than all he had planned for them. As long as the girls were happy, Jim would be happy.
As Jim thought more and more deeply about the girls' visit, tears began to fill his eyes once again. It had been such a long time that Jim had felt tears of joy.
Just as Jim expected, Julia had still not arrived by the time six o'clock came around. Jim knew that Julia didn't care at all about Jim's visit and she wouldn't plan her flight well enough to arrive in Texas by six. She would more than likely be at least an hour late. Or, possibly two. This frustrated Jim quite a bit, as it meant that he would have even less time to spend with Cassie and Meagan than he had been hoping for. At this rate, he would immediately have to put the girls to bed when he made it back home (assuming that Julia was smart enough to feed them dinner beforehand). The girls would probably be much too tired to enjoy their bath time or their bedtime story. Thinking about this upset Jim, as he really had been looking forward to enjoying the girls' bedtime routine that night. At least he would still be able to give them their goodnight kisses.
Three hours later, Julia had still not arrived. This was where Jim started to worry. He really hoped Julia was not backing out on another court order. It was already upsetting enough that she refused to let Jim speak to the girls on the phone. Would she really have the audacity to not let Jim see the girls at all?
Stay calm, Jim thought, clutching the giant teddy bears. Maybe she just picked the latest flight possible out of bitterness. Or maybe her plane was just late. Just stay calm. Just stay calm. You're still going to see the girls.
Midnight soon came and there was still no sign of Julia. Jim was now sweating in fear at this point. Was she really doing this to him? Was she really flat out refusing to let him see his own daughters? Had all this excitement and weekend planning been for nothing?
Jim decided to just keep waiting. By the time it was about five in the morning, it was apparent that Julia was not going to show up.
All of Jim's anxiety rose to levels that he had never felt before. He just couldn't believe it. Julia was actually going this far. Jim's limited visitations were just not good enough for her. In her eyes, Jim didn't deserve to see his daughters at all. He was just that much of a horrible person.
No, Jim thought, as sweat and tears flowed down his face. I have to keep waiting. Maybe she decided to arrive a day late or even two days late. It's a possibility. I can't give up that easily. Just keep waiting.
Jim sat in the airport the entire next day, buying coffee every so often to keep himself awake. As more and more time passed, all of Jim's happy thoughts about the weekend he had been looking forward to slowly began to crumble.
By the time Sunday morning came, Jim felt like he was going to pass out. Not just out of exhaustion, but also out of anxiety and sadness.
Please, Jim thought, still clutching the two teddy bears. Please let me see my girls. Just let me hug and kiss them at least once. That's all I want. I just want to see their happiness at least once. Please.
Before long, it was Sunday night. By this point, Jim would've been dropping the girls off to go back to New Hampshire. But Julia never showed up.
As slowly as possible, Jim picked up the two bears and walked out of the airport. He walked back to his car and very slowly drove to a nearby motel to get some sleep. The entire time, tears flowed from Jim's eyes.
Jim could not believe that he never saw this coming. If Julia wasn't even willing to answer Jim's phone calls and hand the phone over to the girls, why on earth would she be willing to travel across the country to drop the girls off for the weekend? Jim was probably so focused on how excited he was about getting to see Cassie and Meagan and how upset he was about how the weekend was going to go by too fast that he completely forgot about the possibility that Julia would just not show up. Julia had already done so many hateful things to Jim, going this far shouldn't have been that much of a surprise.
Jim didn't wake up until late afternoon on Monday. The instant that Jim opened his eyes, a large amount of stress mixed with sadness began to engulf him as he remembered everything that had just happened. His weekend with the girls, the one he had been looking forward to ever since the day Julia had taken them away, didn't happen. All of his excitement had been for nothing.
Jim then began to think about all of his upcoming scheduled visits with Cassie and Meagan. If Julia wasn't going to bother dropping off the girls this one time after being told months in advance that she was supposed to, why would she ever do so for any other visits in the future? If Julia was never going to bother to return to Jim's house to retrieve her own belongings, why would she bother to travel by plane to drop Cassie and Meagan off twice a year?
Jim doubted the courts were going to help him on this one. They weren't even willing to help him out when Julia refused to obey the phone order. Was Jim actually...never going to see his daughters again?!
No, Jim thought. No. Absolutely not.
Jim left the motel and headed to his car as fast as possible. He then drove back to the airport.
You're not going to get away with this one, Jim thought furiously as he walked inside the airport. You're not going to remove my girls from my life. I'm not going to let you.
After buying his ticket, Jim had only about twenty minutes before his flight to New Hampshire took off. Jim was so anxious to get to New Hampshire that twenty minutes felt like an eternity.
Jim arrived in Concord late in the evening. Jim decided to stay the night at a motel again, as he was sure Cassie and Meagan were already in bed. Jim had a hard time sleeping that night, as his mind was entirely focused on that very next morning. What was he going to say? Would Julia call the police on him? Would the police listen to him if he told them everything that was going on? Would Jim actually get to see Cassie and Meagan in the end?
Please, Jim thought as tears began to form in his eyes. Please let me be with my girls again. I can't live without them any longer.
After sleeping for about two hours, Jim woke up and drove over to Julia's new house. The Concord Yellow Pages had only been updated two months earlier, so finding Julia's address was no hard task.
Julia's new house was much larger and fancier than Jim expected. As angry as Jim was at Julia at that moment, he had to admit that she was pretty lucky to live in such a nice place. Jim began to wonder why Julia's father hadn't bothered to lend him and Julia that much money back when they were still married.
Jim walked up to Julia's door and knocked on it quite hard. After not hearing a response the first time, he knocked on it again much harder. After a few seconds, he heard Julia's voice.
"Can you answer the door?"
"You're closer," A male voice said.
"But I'm too tired!"
"Tired from what? Doing nothing? I didn't get home till three last night. Get up and answer the freaking door. It's your house."
After hearing Julia grunt, a sound of footsteps was heard from inside. Jim took a deep breath as the door opened.
Julia was wearing a black tank top and a pair of grey sweatpants. Her hair was now dyed black (it was originally blonde) and was a giant mess. She also now had a lip piercing and a tattoo of what appeared to be a human heart on her left arm. Just like before, she carried a lit cigarette in her right hand. A look of disgust appeared on her face the instant she saw Jim.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Julia asked, bitterly.
"I want to see my girls," Jim responded
"Excuse me?"
"I want to see my girls. Right now."
Julia rolled her eyes.
"I'm way too freaking tired for this. Go bother someone else, will you?"
Julia tried to close the door, but Jim pushed it back quite hard. His scalp began to burn in anger.
"What the hell is your problem?!" Julia shouted.
"If you don't let me see my girls right now, I'm calling the police," Jim said furiously. "I will do it."
"You're calling the police?! Who's house do you think this is?! If you don't get off my property right now, I'm calling the police!"
"Why didn't you drop the girls off last weekend? Did you forget that last weekend was my visit?"
"I was busy."
"Busy doing what?"
"None of your freaking business. Besides, the girls didn't really seem interested in going. Why go through all of that trouble if they're not interested in going?"
"Julia, I already know that the girls miss me and tell you that they miss me all the freaking time. Quit lying."
"What the hell are you talking about?! You don't freaking know anything! You haven't even been here!"
"I raised those girls for three years with almost no help. I gave them more love than anybody else during those three years. You think that after all of that, they're suddenly going to just stop caring about me? Get real."
"First of all, don't you ever say that I don't give my daughters love. I give those girls more love than anybody else could ever give. I'm their freaking mother. Second of all, I've been raising those girls by myself for the past five months and they're doing wonderful. They're perfectly happy and they never even mention you. They're perfectly fine without you."
"Julia...You let me see my daughters...right...now."
"I already told you that they don't want to see you. Get lost."
"I waited in that airport for two freaking days! Two freaking days just because I wanted to see my daughters when I was supposed to see them! You let me see my daughters right now!"
"They don't need you!"
"RIGHT NOW, JULIA!"
"THEY DON'T NEED YOU!! GO AWAY!!"
"JULIA!!"
At that moment, a man with brown hair and a goatee walked up to the door. He wore a white undershirt and black basketball shorts.
"Julia, what the hell is going on?" The man asked. "What's with all the yelling?"
Julia puffed on her cigarette.
"Nothing, Nick," Julia said. "My ex is just being an idiot again."
"Oh really, now?" Nick asked, walking up to Jim and staring down at him. "You're the idiot that treated my girl like crap? And now you're doing it some more?"
"I just want to see my daughters,'" Jim said, taking another deep breath. "Please, that's all I want."
"Oh, get the hell lost. You've already messed with my girlfriend enough and I'm not going to let you mess with her even more. If you're not out of here when I count to three, you're going to regret it. Really regret it."
"I'm not going anywhere until I see my daughters."
"One..."
"I'm their father and I have a right to see them."
"Two..."
"My girls are my life. You can't keep them from me."
"Two and a half..."
Tears began to form in Jim's eyes.
"Please...just let me give them a kiss. Just one kiss."
"THREE!"
With that, Nick swung his foot and struck Jim right in his crotch. Jim gasped and fell to the ground. He was in so much pain that he slowly began to black out.
"Yeah, I forgot to mention," Jim heard Julia say as everything slowly turned dark. "Nick played soccer when he was in high school. And he was pretty damn good. Don't worry, though. The police will be here in a bit to take you to the emergency room."
That was the last thing that Jim remembered before everything completely turned dark.
ns 172.71.254.134da2
and then Add to home screen.