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"Winsby. Yes, that's it. That was where we'd spend the entire summer, from dawn to dusk. In the afternoon, we'd jump in the lake. Your father would always jump first because I was afraid, though I'd never dare to admit it. Sometimes we'd spend the entire night in Winsby in our shelter that we made out of logs. We'd peek through the little gap between the logs and gaze at the sky. And guess what we saw?"
Laia stayed silent, thinking. It was always her younger sister Caryl who spoke first. "A raccoon?" she suggested.
"Raccoons don't live in the sky," her sister mumbled.
A smile tugged on Hadena's lips. "We saw the moon. The moon would follow us wherever we went."
Laia wasn't satisfied. "You tell us stories about Aprenem every night. About how you met Father there, and how beautiful it was."
"Yes, Laia."
"So why did you leave the kingdom?" She frowned.
Hadena's smile froze. She knew her hush, thoughtful daughter would ask this question someday, but the history of Aprenem was too sorrowful to tell.
Growing up, the years were flooded with wars and a plummeting kingdom. Orphans surrounded the streets, begging for small rations of food and water. They huddled together at night in wherever shelter they could find, and pretended to sleep as gunshots fired every hour or so. Hadena knew because she was one of those orphans.
But as time passed, Aprenem healed quickly with a new kingdom. There were thousands of people who were willing to help rebuild communities and homes. Hadena worked at an organization providing meals for young children and the elderly. That was where she met Kaian.
"Mother," Laia pleaded, "I really do want to know."
She kissed their foreheads. Caryl was nearly asleep and in a position where she was taking up almost the entire bed. "I will tell you, I promise," Hadena whispered. "But not tonight."
Typically, Laia would argue, but she only nodded and waited for her mother to shut the door.
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"Kaian," Hadena said softly to herself, her voice weakening. "Where are you now?"
She knew where he was: on the battlefield, north of Aprenem. He was deployed seven months ago with a dear friend, Kostas. The shocking news snagged her heart and squeezed it. Because it wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to go back to that kingdom after what they had gone through. They were supposed to be on top of the mountains, peering at the clouds drifting below them. Running through scarlet, honey forests in the autumn months. Together.
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"Do you like to travel?"
Hadena met his eyes tentatively. She didn't love nor hate traveling, but it was something she never planned to do. "I don't think so," she admitted.
Kaian smiled, his mystifying, silver eyes sending her shivers. "'I don't think so?' I'm assuming you haven't traveled very far yet."
"Yet?"
He placed his hand on top of hers. "Yes, Hadena. There are many things to do outside of Aprenem. Haven't you always said you wanted to walk through the orchards during the summertime? You said you dreamed almost every night about exploring."
She nervously erupted into laughter. "But Kaian, as you said, those are just dreams. Leaving Aprenem? I could only imagine."
"I know a good friend in Shayavia."
She blinked. The breeze grew thicker as he continued to speak. "Kostas. We met several years ago in a shelter but we were separated. I found a letter he had sent us, and money. . .This could be our only chance, Hadena. Our only chance to leave. Our lives could change forever."
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Today was the last day of May. The last day of May was also the first day that Hadena would see her husband again after several months. She was determined he was alive. If a soldier had passed, they would notify the household at the end of the month.
No one came. Kaian was alive.
"Caryl, are you dressed?" Hadena called. "Join your sister for breakfast! We have to leave at eight-thirty sharp!" She rushed out of the kitchen in her chiffon skirt, the nicest clothing she owned. Caryl skipped to the living room in her usual school clothes, which made Hadena shake her head. "No, no, not those. Go check your room, I put a dress beside your bed."
At eight thirty-two, she ushered her daughters out the door. "Are we going to see Father?" Laia questioned. "Where will we meet him?"
"At the town gathering. You'll see Father, Kostas, and all the other soldiers. Are you excited?"
"It feels like I haven't seen Father in years," Caryl confessed. Her sister nodded in agreement.
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Swarms of families barricaded the entrance of the gathering. There was mostly silence pervading the air, while some family members murmured anxiously with one another. Caryl tugged at Laia's sleeve, uncomfortable with the quietude. It rattled Hadena as well. The longer the wait, the more she questioned herself.
The clock chimed, indicating that it was nine o'clock.
The stiff gates screeched open. Hadena gripped her daughters' hands tightly, her own wrists quivering. She desperately strained her neck above the crowd. "Jareth!" she heard a woman's voice behind her shriek as she stumbled to the front. There was a lot of pushing, hugging, and music that made it harder to focus.
"Mother! I think I see Kostas!"
Her eyes darted to where Laia was pointing. A familiar figure with a dark hat was coming closer through the large crowd. "Hadena!" The voice echoed.
She breathed a sigh of relief. "Kostas!" she called.
They approached each other, breathless. Laia and Caryl greeted him with a hug. "Laia, Caryl, it's great to see you again," he said with a weary smile. Hadena hugged him for ten long seconds, tears stinging her eyes from the wind.
"Kostas." Hadena's voice cracked, desperate. "Where's Kaian? Wasn't he in the same plane?"
He pulled away, locking eyes with her.
"Kostas..?"
"Hadena..." He trailed off.
His lips slightly trembled, but Hadena saw it. His hands shook, and not because of the cold. She didn't know what to feel, a mix of rage and sorrow bubbling inside of her. "Where is he? Where is he, Kostas?"
He fumbled in his pocket, withdrawing a piece of folded paper. "I should give you this," he said, struggling to utter the words.
"Mother?" Caryl whispered when she saw her petrified expression.
No. It couldn't be true. His death was never reported. Kostas' voice drilled deep into her skull. He disappeared at 2 in the morning. Sudden, loud laughter rang in her ears, the sound of joy and reuniting with a loved one. We searched for days, weeks. Her vision spiraled. We couldn't find his body. There were no more thoughts to think. No past to remember. The bridge that they had built collapsed into two pieces, sinking deep into the ocean.
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"I am so, so sorry, Hadena."
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Dear Family,
I truly hope that you won’t ever have to read this letter. It already shatters my heart that I am writing this, that I must.
Hadena, do you remember when I said that our lives could change forever? In the span of eight years, so much had already changed after we left Aprenem. We became explorers for the rest of the year. That year was a chapter in my life I would always remember.
If you’re reading this letter, it means I have left to find peace. But do not be discouraged, Hadena. Your strength and endurance continue to amaze me. I know you will raise Laia and Caryl to be just as remarkable as you are. And you are never alone in your journey. I fully trust Kostas to be at your side.
Laia, Caryl. You must know where I am. I am at my new home in the stars. But I can still hear you, even if I won't always respond. You can talk to me when you have a bad dream without worrying about waking me up. You can talk to me about school, breakfast, anything you'd like. Because I'm always here. Father is always here.
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With love from a billion stars,
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Kaian (Father)
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