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「去哪?」158Please respect copyright.PENANAbri6OL9V8x
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「急事。」158Please respect copyright.PENANA4uAkXgT7M4
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「你不吃晚餐?」158Please respect copyright.PENANA74Wi6CgIcw
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我沒應答,逕自出門。158Please respect copyright.PENANAUYAoOCn1Xa
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冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手,不協調感令我忐忑不安。158Please respect copyright.PENANA1dCnfLKxiO
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難以言喻的鬱悶。158Please respect copyright.PENANA5SP4Ylq2E9
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長嘆。158Please respect copyright.PENANAcsY4fGQs4F
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「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。158Please respect copyright.PENANAl5eLEGDYYU
158Please respect copyright.PENANAcuz4hxa7Bc
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品,熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按,然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉,過目即忘。158Please respect copyright.PENANAdQs2Sgio1C
158Please respect copyright.PENANAh3Ht6iUj4r
「不需要贈品?」她驀地抬眼,與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎?158Please respect copyright.PENANASXPo7XsvIU
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「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口,連忙接過香菸和肉乾。158Please respect copyright.PENANAkQUK5bziLR
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她假笑,沒再搭理我,拿起抹布四處抹。158Please respect copyright.PENANAezQlEHeLkE
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我走出光線充足的便利店,重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。158Please respect copyright.PENANAd2Fd2Yr3lW
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另一種不協調。另一種忐忑,另一種不安。158Please respect copyright.PENANAjN2gtVmOd2
158Please respect copyright.PENANAUX36r4AeYa
櫥窗五光十色,路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序,不約而同在紅色燈號前止住,然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇,一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣,不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。158Please respect copyright.PENANAJCSu8J533t
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心血來潮,我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。158Please respect copyright.PENANAigBPgKr06p
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污水,雜物,廚餘,鼠餌,坑渠。158Please respect copyright.PENANAnHoQ7Tx6fu
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髒,亂,腐,毒,臭。158Please respect copyright.PENANAVcxBurHdoX
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為何要到這種地方來?不是捷徑,不知盡頭何處,不懷目的……158Please respect copyright.PENANACMH1KFZgQ5
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小巷盡處是另一小巷,盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路,走又走。不停前行,像是正在找出口;絕不回頭,像是不打算找到真正出口。158Please respect copyright.PENANAwJrRYRzom8
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厭煩日常走過的路,不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去,其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇,實質一切已成定局。那是大街,這是小巷。大街在明,小巷在暗。大街繁華,小巷冷清。158Please respect copyright.PENANAoKEHj6lZDP
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註定的。158Please respect copyright.PENANAT7qLs8VyCj
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冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼?我不相信,亦不願輕言不相信。158Please respect copyright.PENANA79jXzFx2YI
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汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。158Please respect copyright.PENANAJNnybKhmg2
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停步。猶疑。158Please respect copyright.PENANA07yfJPUNRK
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惻隱?慈悲?然後呢?根本沒有然後,因為我自顧不暇。158Please respect copyright.PENANAaKR6hG8zx0
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轉身。158Please respect copyright.PENANAGOyO9q2Pla
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汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。158Please respect copyright.PENANALvxE4Do3Rr
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我回身走去。158Please respect copyright.PENANAZ3E4UMLCPA
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惻隱?慈悲?不,好奇罷。158Please respect copyright.PENANAT5wEUARjdQ
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把小狗抱入懷內。158Please respect copyright.PENANAtn8XYl0p7w
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「暖和沒?」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。158Please respect copyright.PENANAHu5HpiCTb1
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陣風從後疾過,寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。158Please respect copyright.PENANAyY40wOyxlR
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海風?海濱公園步道?158Please respect copyright.PENANAv5VSSjvUM4
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「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答,但我需要溜達原因。158Please respect copyright.PENANAhtK1AH608k
158Please respect copyright.PENANAEXtuaYr7aV
多拐兩個彎,我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來,恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄,純淨,圓滿。158Please respect copyright.PENANAFuWGDOsEWj
158Please respect copyright.PENANAjzz9gHdMC4
「看!這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。158Please respect copyright.PENANACMXg6m0usi
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汪——牠回答,但沒有依指示抬頭。158Please respect copyright.PENANAsCiO39XFTk
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「找個好地方坐坐吧!」為免小狗中途跑掉,我微微拉下外套拉鏈,把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗,甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部,方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹:「乖。」158Please respect copyright.PENANAoP5CIkzVaF
158Please respect copyright.PENANAlUQBJ0Lgts
銀月清冷,步道冷清,寧靜。心跳規律,呼吸有序,乏味。回憶很多,未知更多,迷惘。158Please respect copyright.PENANAnCZwUo1CMV
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「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller,跌了幾跤,膝蓋流血。明明怕血,明明怕痛,偏偏為保面子而強說無事,硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片,痛得要命,不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月,九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下,拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢,報答牠聽我發牢騷。158Please respect copyright.PENANAINy6x1gFMw
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「留醫期間,我生氣朋友們不來探望我,打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後,我忙於學校課業,忘記致電他們,然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們,已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸,一吸一呼,虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了,無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過,不是說忘記就可以忘記。」158Please respect copyright.PENANACr0KqsKort
158Please respect copyright.PENANAOSxHGrHl00
記憶零碎,思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多,無奈腦袋運轉不來,沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。158Please respect copyright.PENANARyGCYJzMW7
158Please respect copyright.PENANA9ANJesd9f4
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味,舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊,甚至舔到小小鼻頭。158Please respect copyright.PENANAei36bseWL5
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我笑,笑牠傻氣可愛。158Please respect copyright.PENANAXYlJfnikIC
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又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。158Please respect copyright.PENANAFWQODpXOBm
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鬱悶何來?158Please respect copyright.PENANAfpcyC6rZjR
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學業壓力?愛情煩惱?家庭不和?158Please respect copyright.PENANAQbLPMrHt35
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也許統統都是,也許統統不是。158Please respect copyright.PENANANSlNDIE4Bd
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多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。158Please respect copyright.PENANAPx0a8iVmNF
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有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。158Please respect copyright.PENANA326KSD9dj5
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有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。158Please respect copyright.PENANAruzj3Hu7lX
158Please respect copyright.PENANAmwoCfxpDy2
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼,我彈走菸屁股,將牠從懷裡抽出,來個深深擁抱。158Please respect copyright.PENANAnsYUb2Y3xi
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然後呢?根本沒有然後。158Please respect copyright.PENANACoIn8S9HEB
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我輕輕放下小狗,動身邁步離開。158Please respect copyright.PENANAuOdeOQRpTZ
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正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾,自然而然不會跟上來。158Please respect copyright.PENANAzgaKPPFrtv
註:此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns 172.71.254.192da2