來寫一個關於「晚上」的故事 - 散步

「去哪？」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygeulvzkd3
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「急事。」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwk6Hzwu2RN
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「你不吃晚餐？」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSY0Dz8Vnp
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我沒應答，逕自出門。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZyNL5nPUC5
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冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiMFgWODb1
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難以言喻的鬱悶。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuFy7nwd2U
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長嘆。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ssYtsLQNs
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「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaibhwR9bh7
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店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7OPADlWhm
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「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj96ZWdPoY6
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8L7MTEsBNH
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLkp9h88de
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她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXnHqqoFqx
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJb4ctW093
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbLNY3sXpA
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6XX1nmv8v
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElMzLmAPRa
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftKQLMvLTz
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDukGjaWDD
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdsukao85k
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvL0RlabYIm
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污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddSU44721F
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONbGWIuQG3
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEdEFPJVYf
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSrhpgt4le
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5n00y0GCeg
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw13wjOvKkJ
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOQdhzyHC0
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeR9DVYVcwa
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGm6NkTvHMV
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註定的。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8F7bH105YP
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiiFhesYw7
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXsva0GQKD
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汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEDtNwb2ju
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停步。猶疑。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU10zPWWXCe
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惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7qGZoIicR
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轉身。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEivI5Ffvhx
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汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqI60WNirh6
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我回身走去。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxngcwHt9u
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惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfEQZliXOR
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把小狗抱入懷內。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHRtKRoR57
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sK1pmhlRi
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6Ta62uugG
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陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAQGpnPl3y
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海風？海濱公園步道？560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSi8NjyLoi
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzc6fdi02L
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RfiISczND
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多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3nG1l5L5a
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45sDy4sfqp
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAyvPezdSB
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4f5AOGNZJD
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSbOcEVhWI
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「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYec07uH3s2
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡreOWEFM63f
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmgoCIzoJs
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekftZSb3Re
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZ3tHYHtwe
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjjFgHR0Sh
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwjUEio7nV
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記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvf13Y79ZWM
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「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VMr47jOp7
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我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9IeTP0iU5
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9jzeO5tsK
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtG0H5Hy6DO
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鬱悶何來？560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGB1wD7dbc
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學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuo2NzjavZ
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2Us8eQtrQ
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBoDuVDsPe
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPhCFP7jIh
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRjasOgFbe
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1kX9cchBD
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKmXRG0EQg
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkB9SelU3y
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoRv2fmSPU
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7CokCRiW3
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyJXz0ehby
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然後呢？根本沒有然後。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpTmC5W4gX
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyaPGIRZHw
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJl0jXJuwb
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENdP8r6Rb0
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynJ1pXYuHx

註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》

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