「去哪？」407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT19yiUhX7N
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gh1tW2GTn
「急事。」407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Mt8hieBzp
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1wcLyVgMs
「你不吃晚餐？」407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKm8pfpxHBZ
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8Z0d8CPMf
我沒應答，逕自出門。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdftEllTKd
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTsUYINxY3
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWWCYSY3PX
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2hyziWs78
難以言喻的鬱悶。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvoowh8OV2
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvlUyx69bL
長嘆。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXzhl3jW4V
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwyRqzSlSt
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzERF5dZyB
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbVrg780Ff
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94JKowM9FF
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0tJEYXaQm
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixOrT4V0Cb
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHBmYeQRCJ
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡki2UXDXQcT
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEQqZktwkt
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0dgCshwDN
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8dwXur9NQ
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvfjXYtGTL
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWexwOYIBM
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBb5vbzq7PU
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAiT8ut3h7
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXE0pQRaDRr
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QfPdizIY5
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUJi1HI6JT
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLmiqf4cXn
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6yDIHaYE9
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv45mzXYvAj
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xlMtp21ST
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfL0WpqeEj
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvc1A9o4PA6
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDE4KekpwUd
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSxPdCbM4F
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffW2ANA3kU
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFa0wRTCtbo
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4zs4KVQTl
註定的。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNd86UUU2T
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43nEa5tQ9W
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbDNxGKpT6
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfGgr9CSG7
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnLXiDtVtF
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DwXw20pmT
停步。猶疑。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0j6crK9wFb
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgVohb7nZ2
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbn3smVP2Wd
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvD1IDu3lZ
轉身。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRWnVSMaFy
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUugsj3Gndl
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlHxDTdXQJ
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltDDvLx3a5
我回身走去。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMKTrNI3Dt
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOovq7V4sE
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡecfvpQ9nlU
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTQEx5bzQ8
把小狗抱入懷內。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRtxtrrZnY
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSrCtQxZH5
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XdKItGObD
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAa7YOLc22
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVK4EBOqQOP
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMwvKELXrk
海風？海濱公園步道？407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQHLuIXtzu
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmOpqnHGmk
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ptI0DfX44
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6m2V003RVo
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSV50WuSeH
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqf7i3gpQe
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqk2ioWRDue
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡerA9rfkwpD
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZqgill7Pk
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2pGalazZp
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTflQb4NMU
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEMGLXyB8Z
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5RIvb1LxC
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJpfHDjyGO
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGf5SASJ3m
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5VH0VUApi
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUtRXgyNw4
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnMCzGsjc7
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqV6hs53dZb
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9td1uLtEDV
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGWzr6javI
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtaV1v2aMk
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbTFmlOdVW
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pMXDs9Y4C
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH55j1XUqDb
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgB15jwRYM
鬱悶何來？407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97FhlyIwTf
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPFbdijt13
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CpVgisDMi
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVwRyJKHOE
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRE5dS64ZyS
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVB8gvBHgrb
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lWTuGNbfb
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79IqafBWWH
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EIJCpwiNE
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNK02cWyxTR
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DmedcXaOI
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAhfWtEoZU
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMDxdXgPUo
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACGuJkVFn1
然後呢？根本沒有然後。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmod33PHkm
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmRLtjRafC
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84cQciutEe
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBr2twbChh8
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGBlExjgnB
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
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