「去哪？」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTabGpt6ALb
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsco2dsQCfQ
「急事。」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IAgc8vO6E
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0zoquDvBm
「你不吃晚餐？」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsd7rCgIfzF
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9z9feCgrP
我沒應答，逕自出門。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEzUt16Uux
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4n0MaOZFI
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjJdZllprV
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6tZRmq4uV
難以言喻的鬱悶。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRPx0To68R
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHApiPtWEw
長嘆。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRORKsCKmG
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0E88cL8lcr
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoLLTyRDPF
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhkG4uo40k
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8aH55Dmn75
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IJCSgFfzG
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQH6XvZ07G
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2A47rFmK4C
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwCJYj1zlb
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyl1grLJ8eQ
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rEThejyxe
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JqEtcQ3Yn
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNLAiyxBF8
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3c3ZtiOM2O
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4FoCta2yV
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuLVZyA8Pr
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrADHrKQqic
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1fdtiJVWa
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UOws4yNeT
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKAMtWzLTi
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uxtW2NDGr
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqadjZDQGm7
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rR4sLovDK
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIB4oqiVgp1
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdiqy8puob
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYdEy9qVVh
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSA5eQSorgX
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFJ31OrykU
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uE7MrG9cK
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmULSHXASd
註定的。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeHxOnvnwz
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqGZ6ShB3t
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyBFpMmc14
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FU6HS7fGn
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFIWRrC5HB
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQmdLtkCoH
停步。猶疑。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUuoFvn5Pk
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoGfhj4acz
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAG6zpGcCuG
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvM6RSFnd9
轉身。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnfINw7Oeu
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4RalCXMuX
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtw3ezQFDnB
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKg7RRZLKK
我回身走去。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFh8tu7bucY
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSUpIaSxe2
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxcdd7HoWn
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVkuwC7Nni
把小狗抱入懷內。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuCT50EF94
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQ4nsZJzbl
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGwXqBnPC7
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OnBqpYrzy
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyyLtWwTuU
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5f0rSqgFa
海風？海濱公園步道？405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIX1XBVyI7K
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkr01wk3tco
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGELRdU32OW
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4NFwYIGvc
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQel5rgEOx
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAAfoNIP0K
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkmW4YMnt8
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYipsefRSo
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnLr6njkkp
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aR2BmbhV5
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56gE5S6WKX
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYF4LrqvgsG
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaBKOINVlp
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6A0wqb6vW1
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8koGvcZqqZ
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeRAnmpbNi
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32TTJYK0OQ
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdK3SiiM9NA
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0uf5hKwwq
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHtUU9Qitm
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNm3JBgbTVq
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLMKLaYYX9
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyYNxu1OOT
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUnePWf14g
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDa52A3ARU
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfBGX6wI42
鬱悶何來？405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnhtEK3VHZ
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QWZlfwrWO
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgDB9Trrhz
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMHrD6YXkX
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuDyD2jmm9
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBs8bR4Pa6
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdSApzGMQo
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmcYwFhaXs
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRC8EYVRbE
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7LEZvfGfs
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tqhOHl8vy
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4RpTbrq7p
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdvqQTfXYn
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXNTxEErIB
然後呢？根本沒有然後。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lhvoa5Hp8
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksA0e5AZqJ
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuAskHLgAw
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fuAXt561o
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV68vxNcouL
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.237da2
然後按「加至主畫面」