「去哪?」153Please respect copyright.PENANA589FxhQQV9
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「急事。」153Please respect copyright.PENANAfQraI4ZYRh
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「你不吃晚餐?」153Please respect copyright.PENANAmeLWT8wQFv
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我沒應答,逕自出門。153Please respect copyright.PENANAnNeo55CEpw
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冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手,不協調感令我忐忑不安。153Please respect copyright.PENANAYZxyMqlQMm
153Please respect copyright.PENANAo4gBkgNTh5
難以言喻的鬱悶。153Please respect copyright.PENANAXPeLIQOgsz
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長嘆。153Please respect copyright.PENANA6tRtYrGzPZ
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「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。153Please respect copyright.PENANAOmjdVwOCOr
153Please respect copyright.PENANAgBITp3XoJx
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品,熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按,然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉,過目即忘。153Please respect copyright.PENANALMlIMyjcO0
153Please respect copyright.PENANA5pvQdk1yEG
「不需要贈品?」她驀地抬眼,與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎?153Please respect copyright.PENANAFogrvpzw9K
153Please respect copyright.PENANAJNUzxuVlQk
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口,連忙接過香菸和肉乾。153Please respect copyright.PENANAK7iBa7VMmB
153Please respect copyright.PENANAsX9J2j024X
她假笑,沒再搭理我,拿起抹布四處抹。153Please respect copyright.PENANAlRXk6QEUyJ
153Please respect copyright.PENANA4MoryX8Acb
我走出光線充足的便利店,重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。153Please respect copyright.PENANAy2Ckz1O55N
153Please respect copyright.PENANAqOtQg4liQr
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑,另一種不安。153Please respect copyright.PENANAhU7vvOkFTc
153Please respect copyright.PENANAw0HRQZTUe6
櫥窗五光十色,路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序,不約而同在紅色燈號前止住,然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇,一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣,不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。153Please respect copyright.PENANArCXqE0zvBM
153Please respect copyright.PENANASCDFZFO1Wb
心血來潮,我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。153Please respect copyright.PENANAKTb6S0zHlj
153Please respect copyright.PENANASHNJ4uLarT
污水,雜物,廚餘,鼠餌,坑渠。153Please respect copyright.PENANABH7hOciDGn
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髒,亂,腐,毒,臭。153Please respect copyright.PENANAUIjn5PV0C7
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為何要到這種地方來?不是捷徑,不知盡頭何處,不懷目的……153Please respect copyright.PENANAYcg6Ufp0lE
153Please respect copyright.PENANAk7ho7OX9EY
小巷盡處是另一小巷,盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路,走又走。不停前行,像是正在找出口;絕不回頭,像是不打算找到真正出口。153Please respect copyright.PENANA86cNpqN7jW
153Please respect copyright.PENANAt0V835FA8N
厭煩日常走過的路,不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去,其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇,實質一切已成定局。那是大街,這是小巷。大街在明,小巷在暗。大街繁華,小巷冷清。153Please respect copyright.PENANArx27ZRDMR9
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註定的。153Please respect copyright.PENANAt8dNWGngnU
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冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼?我不相信,亦不願輕言不相信。153Please respect copyright.PENANAy646y2HYQb
153Please respect copyright.PENANAqwMuqC63b5
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。153Please respect copyright.PENANAdz7rzjHeyF
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停步。猶疑。153Please respect copyright.PENANAz0BG6qmBC8
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惻隱?慈悲?然後呢?根本沒有然後,因為我自顧不暇。153Please respect copyright.PENANALlQHN4DQfd
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轉身。153Please respect copyright.PENANAu8gBS7CYdQ
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汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。153Please respect copyright.PENANAMuXRH1wakD
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我回身走去。153Please respect copyright.PENANA4uLNJIiMsw
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惻隱?慈悲?不,好奇罷。153Please respect copyright.PENANAtazaNh1SFg
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把小狗抱入懷內。153Please respect copyright.PENANAR03Mhh6Qjt
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「暖和沒?」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。153Please respect copyright.PENANAPVtAdrMES0
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陣風從後疾過,寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。153Please respect copyright.PENANATXlvGLZRC6
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海風?海濱公園步道?153Please respect copyright.PENANAuhoqKmNzOo
153Please respect copyright.PENANA9pkQCKOOiS
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答,但我需要溜達原因。153Please respect copyright.PENANA0FgKBhle2b
153Please respect copyright.PENANA67bPKiJD6S
多拐兩個彎,我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來,恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄,純淨,圓滿。153Please respect copyright.PENANA2MrYdM3Rmj
153Please respect copyright.PENANAlYtnnhHNcZ
「看!這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。153Please respect copyright.PENANAbIwqzUs9ub
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汪——牠回答,但沒有依指示抬頭。153Please respect copyright.PENANAx1GVqqYqEh
153Please respect copyright.PENANA7y1PKuJHQx
「找個好地方坐坐吧!」為免小狗中途跑掉,我微微拉下外套拉鏈,把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗,甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部,方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹:「乖。」153Please respect copyright.PENANAq09ZfbPTQm
153Please respect copyright.PENANAHOrSVmSocz
銀月清冷,步道冷清,寧靜。心跳規律,呼吸有序,乏味。回憶很多,未知更多,迷惘。153Please respect copyright.PENANAQStOSaDVTr
153Please respect copyright.PENANAVOeVd7ioqX
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller,跌了幾跤,膝蓋流血。明明怕血,明明怕痛,偏偏為保面子而強說無事,硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片,痛得要命,不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月,九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下,拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢,報答牠聽我發牢騷。153Please respect copyright.PENANA3QsvvVzCLS
153Please respect copyright.PENANAXwT6A3sSeI
「留醫期間,我生氣朋友們不來探望我,打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後,我忙於學校課業,忘記致電他們,然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們,已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸,一吸一呼,虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了,無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過,不是說忘記就可以忘記。」153Please respect copyright.PENANAZAqtQyiyag
153Please respect copyright.PENANAAHVileCMhF
記憶零碎,思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多,無奈腦袋運轉不來,沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。153Please respect copyright.PENANATouODr8kz0
153Please respect copyright.PENANAhK9DTnkC9a
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味,舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊,甚至舔到小小鼻頭。153Please respect copyright.PENANAxRbxFYYKWI
153Please respect copyright.PENANAsFDZvFGlF2
我笑,笑牠傻氣可愛。153Please respect copyright.PENANAfVAIbb8qfV
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又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。153Please respect copyright.PENANAwBT9gQeNEu
153Please respect copyright.PENANAMjelPml3Co
鬱悶何來?153Please respect copyright.PENANAo5OdWsHzbR
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學業壓力?愛情煩惱?家庭不和?153Please respect copyright.PENANAEX24uVOz2F
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也許統統都是,也許統統不是。153Please respect copyright.PENANAsnpzUF2bhh
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多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。153Please respect copyright.PENANA8enOowzNcR
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有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。153Please respect copyright.PENANA1mheIuH8qQ
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有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。153Please respect copyright.PENANA1tpdr8IeAJ
153Please respect copyright.PENANA9OWjKcXncF
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼,我彈走菸屁股,將牠從懷裡抽出,來個深深擁抱。153Please respect copyright.PENANAzJE4ccuyub
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然後呢?根本沒有然後。153Please respect copyright.PENANAdMiKKKYwmH
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我輕輕放下小狗,動身邁步離開。153Please respect copyright.PENANAXibi4RcPmz
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正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾,自然而然不會跟上來。153Please respect copyright.PENANAhe9ufzIfPu
註:此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns 172.69.59.88da2