「去哪？」311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocXXFSPPvm
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHpxeDSeJe
「急事。」311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQN9HIQrdn6
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrAAeyt3Ig
「你不吃晚餐？」311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QDg3aRE3I
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVATBwFLW9P
我沒應答，逕自出門。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjQdO4TYfu
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRr8Gio2yyt
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsG0VkbZMCu
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQgAwomspE
難以言喻的鬱悶。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalAaILQLt6
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbITZSeC5Ep
長嘆。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6KCAhvAHZ
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16zrw8m1qb
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIbwBgr5Oa
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJ2XsvQ2Vb
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oRQtUsLkT
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxsWWoKoFs
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKu1ITcFvkD
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0seFUgYeE
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7rHJyC4af
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKAYHexzAKM
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcQZ637z12
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrFZgMPqoJ
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmTQ15dsUF
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3ClhtJW0J
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc59Uo8BT5o
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOhnyJj5do
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHD1PIR7WVr
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zAZ6cPOql
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TqIOY7gqS
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZMoHc0ynR
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAa5bvVn3u1
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5Sk7wy4T5
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBa41y97W7
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CeSU7UdbG
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoFCtn0laI
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvp51PbyBHs
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfPXndgfRl
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8whnvwWox
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdigJan9Y6
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzY65fCdV1
註定的。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmCQf4TyV1
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86pp70dtwj
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnLfO1eCSi
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaNXeHNhW5
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzG1TEFuY5S
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8Z4ZBjPCl
停步。猶疑。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBoGMBBjRs
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvgTGuKcOk
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzvbIoKkPh
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFOP7bfBYl
轉身。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLDrHhcFVx
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iHGqCs56N
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxXdYbkdGa
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25xLJtmiyz
我回身走去。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wyznvUUaU
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmDsStNJpt
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlill0t5AD
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wW5Hcj4nT
把小狗抱入懷內。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAaTXxSfRB
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRBr7M5tAE
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGF8Wnawazo
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnS3Maq4dZ
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyacLUfWlW
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNKimNwtz0
海風？海濱公園步道？311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5HgkHrduh
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpS8vKc8qn
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwffaocf3e6
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2M5kcwhC5M
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4D90CPnTP
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHT29FBxD7
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSrtz9UR2L
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8NjE9ko7h
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrAcpF3jzY
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ykh6O3U4w
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMJmyj8LnA
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡms1SuiyYT9
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fht6GxGLN
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nb6fnpUXW
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaP7OpQG0W
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iBMm2ijzS
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5VOmUdy8p
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpJ7ov7ECd
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYClIdqPT6h
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNckmhNiWNy
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aTDdgbqvM
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1r9egplN8V
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0Gl0JES8y
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Sak1AWpAo
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6Hja3rLU4
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1I5GRlXVkn
鬱悶何來？311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoj6QkCBXGX
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGNt6Tw32I
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcHZRHYpTk
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5uWRZpEb1
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOGV59OsVb
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIAXVObpVP
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVW77hzVgmw
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Y0av58kKH
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVEvEb8obe
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31F3xH1eow
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuH6zg0kF4
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqFnZjThaV
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziQ3zfgeEk
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtZnOZrEIQ
然後呢？根本沒有然後。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMASz4dotPU
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOctJjREJXK
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwp3ie9gs4
311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlK37ZCJ7C9
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。311Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqGHPLrbkf
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns3.145.15.78da2
然後按「加至主畫面」