來寫一個關於「晚上」的故事 - 散步

「去哪？」562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtF10R5EhCE
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKA7eNb7z8
「急事。」562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglTz11Olca
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PtxWW2B5k
「你不吃晚餐？」562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtOl4ekFUo
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3B3QNcZDow
我沒應答，逕自出門。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRasZWbNiP
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKygzH3hCPG
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjOppcZtQq
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsOvtyl8Ds
難以言喻的鬱悶。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aWcviQecq
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZh7HHEo3Kv
長嘆。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLezjYqzz0K
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTPCGA9OCW
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGwJPZCNk4
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjTNgi4Svh
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4h7EGwnaO
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCJ6DAl7LF
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15a0nkdyXp
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5POskhCoT
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgm5r4qzSR1
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidJz4JoZZW
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MLrO6veTP
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rNmDacMeg
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzobpJujjF
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcQ3xjI2xg
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WpuCGzym0
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKlVweWVFn
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0PMgWtftD
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBo0dfaNern
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoS7uLn5d13
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YGH9LDbvj
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzODGIBLS5
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPoAy4GL8v
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8YNR6TVYS
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCYT7wwX8q
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtNd7liD8D
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlOPAjGQ3o
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLu09M1Rg9n
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRa9nUSdnK
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uWlqUC4VN
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTe7sFi0mYu
註定的。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Qm7iJLSoj
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDNQtcUgX8
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1F8SCRed7
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PGKziT5ki
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgjNwzxOKD
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0vczx1L7V
停步。猶疑。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmZekVUImh
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfyBzqEF2d
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEXoah2IlU
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6cfzCmpwK
轉身。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPcfglXJCH
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVxMG3E3Ch
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPExVfPVMiG
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CWGkdjhhw
我回身走去。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUW8C5zfGvc
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zv0W4qjs7
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJuu6SEO7i
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccg12xFECo
把小狗抱入懷內。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEv18UmuJCj
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLX0ne2MsS
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbN1fP1uuMq
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlZ7FVK9if
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8urOt1ZSF
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3Xiy8LhrM
海風？海濱公園步道？562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvdp88HFq7
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XWCFoVhLF
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBv0dtFvee
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTIRslk3WhO
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTa8iwZ1F6
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4iuhYYHn5
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtBbfumpVD
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eP6srSEmO
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqpxnLQuJC
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1H17rTmEf

「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1m1bi238y
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHFbsYluqJ
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVBBJ5cnQI
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEf2wwEPWb
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCRckYDQCO
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjcdKUA1t2
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RVw2ddOg5
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24CbMp8CiB
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjV5OyyT03Y
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhbDI0XfTj
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEZLyYZGph
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFekNuJqQi2
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxCkHhzFb3
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgujFK5CqL
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7h73gRPG91
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNMKAaatz8
鬱悶何來？562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonhH1yd7QB
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCywOUP2Dyd
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFjnjk2a41
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE23CmKHFqC
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4N6ld5Vffv
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2rlawSpz3
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEdy1297oG
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGpWY7jy1o
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoGwrgjBMD
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡku6vdCPHp5
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3Xms8mNK0
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFunAxWQErw
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADYJEIcEd0
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhJ6vWlmII
然後呢？根本沒有然後。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1sUyO6szO0
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lLYt2svGJ
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZLacHZg2K
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYLQPehyC2
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpesDzpzxD5

註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》

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