The first month was the worst. It was when he was at his peak when it came to Media attention. Everyone and everything knew what he was then because it was all that was ever talked about. Did you see his stellar performance or did you see the Japanese dragon he got on his back from the most famed Japanese tattoo artist of all time. Everything was about him. It was hard because I struggled, struggled to erase the memories of that night. It kept playing over and over and over like a broken record player.
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“Girl we can have this house to ourselves”
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Merriam jumps on the couch
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“Merriam this man has cameras”
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“And”
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She grabs my arms tries to get me to jump but I decline and continue cleaning
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“This month has been peaceful with bang boy away”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAFOkZoCoOUS
She falls onto the couch and smiles
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“So comfy”
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“Glad you like it”
101Please respect copyright.PENANA5YwjjqIyPu
After the first month those teasingly weeks until his arrival made me happy. I was happy to escape what I have made unprofessional and tainted. Tainted with what I swore never to do. But then something I never expected happened
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“Huh that’s weird”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAOV5nPnN9z2
Merriam hands me some pads and I take it
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“What”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAGvygb8JsHP
“Well my period is late”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAe6U3BGrB51
She looks at me and my heart drops
101Please respect copyright.PENANAnHa4PdC1KV
“It’s late”
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I repeat this over and over again before letting out a screeching scream
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“NO”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAt7kQTWdeiQ
Me and Merriam rush to the pharmacy and pick up a pregnancy test. I can’t have this happen, I can’t be pregnant there is no way. Once we Enter the penthouse I make a beeline for the bathroom and rip open the pregnancy test. After I pee on the stick I leave the bathroom and crouch down crying
101Please respect copyright.PENANADL2gvJk7OQ
“I can’t Merriam I can’t be pregnant”
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She walks into the bathroom and picks up the stick
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“I-“
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She walks toward me solemnly and bends down. In her face I can see her deepest of sympathies as I grab the stick and look
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Pregnant
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I felt my soul rip from me as I lay down and cry. Merriam brushes my hair from my face as the past two days has been spent crying in my house and at work. I never thought about it but the memories of me eating and throwing up especially pop up now. Merriam will make different foods for me thinking that Ryder must have made contact with papa legba and sent me a baby since he is sometimes viewed as a fertility god.
101Please respect copyright.PENANAoPMSMGI8qJ
“I doubt Ryder knows who papa legba is Merriam”
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She stirs the soup
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“You don’t know it’s hollywood after all. Now drink so you can get this baby out”
101Please respect copyright.PENANACNchVYKlCu
After a week of throwing up my throat was sore and my mind was soo hazy. I know I have to tell Ryder and see what we do from here but the thought of that convo alone scares me. I sweep the floor and feel the urge to throw up but I try to hold it in
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“GIRL HES COMING”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAEHcMOwjhEm
Merriam throws away all her plans about how to get rid of the baby brung by papa legba in the garbage and I prepare myself for seeing his face again. I hear the keys enter the lock and my body tenses as each agonizing seconds leads me closer and closer to seeing him again
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“Hayyy maidsss”
101Please respect copyright.PENANATPVTLgDdLI
A woman enters and it’s the same one he left with on tour. She smiles and gets closer to us
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“Ladies we will be having a party today”
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She rambles on and on but pregnancy brain is making me forget all of what she was saying
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“Huh”
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Merriam laughs out loud and the lady looks dumbfounded
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“What you mean huh I said we will have a small party today so please make this place look like a marble beauty” she walks away and my eyes catch Ryder coming in. I can see the stubble across his face and also his hair now touching his upper back as he walks in with a suitcase.
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“Get these washed”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAmkPexyS3UC
Merriam nods yes and drags his luggage away. We exchange a look then I turn away
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“Make me a smoothie”
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I nod okay and walk to the make him the regular. I hand it to him and go to walk away
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“Stay we need to talk about your resignation”
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I walk back
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“I have collected the papers. I have signed them and will be mailed off today. They won’t know the real reason other than familial matters so relax”
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I nod alright. Shit I have to pee
101Please respect copyright.PENANAO93P0XdL8f
“I have to pee now”
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I rush to the bathroom and pee then come back out and see him still sitting.
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“I’m sorry please continue”
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He nods okay
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“Well I will send them off tonight but for now we are having 3 guest come in. Candlelit dinner is what I’m going after”
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I have to tell him now
101Please respect copyright.PENANAKfDJ6HcEt4
“Ryder I need to tell you something”
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I take a deep breath in and out
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“I’m-“
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“ENGAGED YESSS”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAFqkuu3VwwL
The woman comes back out interrupting me and flings herself to Ryder. Merriam’s face screams don’t tell
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“Me and Ryder are happily engaged so I’m happy and hopeful of our marvelous future”
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FUCK
101Please respect copyright.PENANAo1H6P5XPRO
I rush to the sink and throw up. Merriam rushes to my side
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“What the fuck”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAeNi7M6ss0X
The lady walks to me and turns on the sink
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“My gosh a better response then puking to my engagement would’ve been way better”
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“I’m sorry”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAAMI5rMhgWb
I wipe my mouth with a napkin and Ryder looks at me
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“Upset stomach”
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“For how long”
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Ryder stands up and stands near the woman. His eyes dim as he glares at me
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“Since yesterday. I have been eating soup”
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“Eat more. Merriam make us all a nice soup”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAc2zn8OCCWv
She nods okay and I sit on the far end as the others sit on the opposite end. He’s engaged to her, I mean it’s not like she’s a better choice then most women in Hollywood but if I was to keep the baby, she would be in its life. And from the looks of it that might be a bad idea.
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“So I was planning of a beach wedding”
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The lady shoves a magazine in front of me and points to the wedding a latest celebrity had.
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“Looks nice”
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She smiles and shows me her ring
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“24 karat diamond ring from monteque. I know it was a pretty penny to purchase”
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“How pretty”
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“I don’t know like a million”
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“Damn that’s really pretty”
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“I know”
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Well glad to know my kid won’t be struggling if i do go with keeping it.
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“Psst”
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Merriam hands me soup and whispers in my ear
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“He looks like he’s encountered papa legba”
101Please respect copyright.PENANA8l70179bkA
I quickly look at Ryder and see his regular unfazed face
101Please respect copyright.PENANAaZeVPwtELI
“I doubt that Merriam. Stop being paranoid”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAQjLFSzTca1
“What, can’t I as a proud Haitian woman tell you when I know a person has encountered an Iwa”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAFtSQ6cwTAL
We both look at him then look away
101Please respect copyright.PENANAVWHz425II7
“Merriam keep your conspiracy theories on the low for now”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAYT8B8grafj
She shakes her head okay and eats her soup
101Please respect copyright.PENANA5C0lSgH3wY
“By the way what did you have to tell me Sam”
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I swallow my soup down hard as Ryder focuses on me
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“Nothing really”
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“Alright then”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAKz5RPbz3Sa
He stands up and offers the woman a hand up
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“Although she introduced herself to you guys she hasn’t said her name. Maids meet Natasha. She’s my fiancé”
101Please respect copyright.PENANApfcTIyh8vE
We wave hi and Natasha waves back eagerly
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“Hi maids I’m so happy to be here”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAZ5S441rolx
They walk to the window to chat and I massage my temples
101Please respect copyright.PENANAPes3UgZhW1
“Of all the fishes in the sea he choose a chatty one”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAgGzKQKWGcB
Merriam sits next to me and hands me another bowl of soup
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“At least he looks content”
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My phone rings in my pocket and I smile as I see James
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“James”
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“Sam”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAIfzF9far0p
I smile warmly as I excuse myself outside to speak
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“James you haven’t spoken to me in a while. what the hell”
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“I know”
101Please respect copyright.PENANA7bRB0VNCkR
“NO YOU DONT KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAd200Js2EDj
I control my anger and feel my sadness start set in
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“I’m sorry Sam I really am-“
101Please respect copyright.PENANAsK3CUMJYat
“No your not”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAB1GGQnNGu9
I sob on the phone and sit down
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“Sam I wanted to tell you that I’m back in town”
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“Really”
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Like a dog my ears perk as happiness floods in
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“Woah talk about a change in moods”
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I smile embarrassingly. Must be the pregnancy hormones
101Please respect copyright.PENANASGzFiTbBHl
“I’m sorry”
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“It’s alright. I know every Friday you leave early so when you do please change and meet me “
101Please respect copyright.PENANAqjd4QfsHmr
“I can’t tonight Ryder and his fiancé need us to prep a candlelit dinner”
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“He has a fiancé”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAmHQytaej1L
“Yeah but don’t tell anyone alright”
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“You got my word. So how about tomorrow”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAmpMtC4x6HT
I smile
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“Yeah”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAPtEJfwqYc4
“Alright I think you have to get going so bye”
101Please respect copyright.PENANArda4zKy571
“Bye James”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAPW7j5W3B8f
I hang up and walk inside the apartment to see Merriam and Natasha arguing
101Please respect copyright.PENANADhgYzdrQdV
“MARBLE WILL MAKE YOU LOOK UGLY CHOOSE BLACK”
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“BLACK WONT GO WELL WITH MY LIMITED EDITION GUCCI CULTURE”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAwK22NjBBq9
“THEN EAT OUT THEN”
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“FINE”
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I slowly close the door behind me and Merriam spots me
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“SAM”
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She storms at me and holds grips my shoulder
101Please respect copyright.PENANAUmXNWgEaam
“Does marble go with Gucci culture or the MARVELOUS BLACK”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAU6mslvQOXq
I can see Natasha follow too and she pushes Merriam aside to speak to me
101Please respect copyright.PENANAM0jwA2xjix
“NO MAID. I think Gucci culture goes well with the MARVELOUS MARBLE”
101Please respect copyright.PENANA4cfIUKm2LQ
They stare each other down but my mind is focused on the bathroom. If I get there quick I might be able to pee
101Please respect copyright.PENANALzaOvXPu6P
“We’ll make what is it”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAXQU6llxHFU
I look back at Natasha
101Please respect copyright.PENANAENhD9Y6QNA
“I think you should eat out”
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“TOLD YA”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAt8LOPe7Gxv
They continue arguing and I run the bathroom to pee. Once I get out I see Ryder listening in on Natasha and Merriam. I take this time to place my gloves on and clean the penthouse door. I grab the bucket and slyly make my way to the apartment hallway and close the door. I take a deep breath in and start scrubbing with a scented detergent
101Please respect copyright.PENANAaFkt5Rafip
“Trying to escape the arguing”
101Please respect copyright.PENANATbljmD3PV2
The door opens and I look up to see Ryder. He closes it behind him and leans his back on the wall as I clean
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“Not really I just need to do my job”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAnOzASSUjYr
I scrub all around the doorknob and bell
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“Your a weird one”
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Ryder grabs the rag from my hand
101Please respect copyright.PENANAvpjGWsJ3x0
“Now let’s have a real conversation about what happened a month and a half ago”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAS7JoEgPO2X
Petrified I grab the rag back and turn away from him
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“There’s no need”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAeMxjGVfYby
I get in all the nooks and crannies of the door as the memories of such night start to reappear. The last thing I need right now is to be triggered from such Events.
101Please respect copyright.PENANASxIf5Gjcko
“Why not, it is the reason why your resigning”
101Please respect copyright.PENANA5CFQ9whZ1t
I place the rag down
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“Fine”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAB3d9qiUs0A
We sit on the windowsill and observe the bustling street life from above
101Please respect copyright.PENANAwoh2Q4jc8m
“What happened that nice was a drunken mistake. I was upset about that man giving my dog some whiskey and cried. Everything I held in I cried and drank. You happened to be there so things happened to happen”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAffnjb2q3yU
I steer clear from Ryders eyes as I glance at the tall skyscrapers reflecting the suns light
101Please respect copyright.PENANA26RFPzCpX8
“So did you mean what you told me when you told me to admit that I hated my life”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAW5wTz7RheR
I sheepishly look away as I feel my face flush
101Please respect copyright.PENANAtTq9zusezC
“Yes. When your drunk don’t you always speak the truth”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAbCiHqXaDgJ
Ryder looks onward at me and shrugs
101Please respect copyright.PENANAFIPfUex5O8
“That is for me to know and you to never find out”
101Please respect copyright.PENANA7MtbQ4GCA6
I stand up and stroll towards the bucket and squat
101Please respect copyright.PENANAPJBi7LzJAh
“Well mister Ryder I must clean the door. Please don’t think I’m cutting our conversation short”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAKFbrlFcjlX
Ryder sits up and walks towards the elevator
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“No need for proper talk Sam I know that doesn’t suit you well”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAb5JqPXsOai
He enters the elevator and I ignore his words. All because I talk normal he thinks that proper behavior doesn’t suit me. I swear rich people and their fucking antics. After a while of cleaning and making sure Merriam and Natasha doesn’t rip their throats out Ryder decided that it’s best we go home
101Please respect copyright.PENANA5NsNVVZO6L
“I will send you each an outfit to wear for tonight’s outing. Most likely you will be photographed. For now you will pretend to be my fiancés friend”
101Please respect copyright.PENANA9z06WofBjn
We nod okay and I walk towards the train and go home. One I enter home I hear chubs wonder barking as he runs to me and jumps up. I lift him up and gently place him on the couch
101Please respect copyright.PENANACCkRQ7hYm8
“Alright chubs no barking alright”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAhHtPnfxFKK
I look at the pile of envelopes on the small table and pick them up. Ah yes more envelopes telling me my rent is due. I place the envelopes down and in my mirror I lift my shirt up.
101Please respect copyright.PENANAPfemwFG3sk
“Alright so I’m 7 weeks along”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAjuruGF1gFU
I look for any sign of a bump but then again I’m chubby so a bump can be mistaken for some fat. I hear a knock on the door and when I open it I see a kind man holding a bag
101Please respect copyright.PENANASnQZ7UCUHg
“For you”
101Please respect copyright.PENANA740CnXQzGs
I slip him five bucks then close the door. when I open the bag I see a long black backless dress with a note inside.
101Please respect copyright.PENANAVLTPDVJnoG
For you from Me
101Please respect copyright.PENANA3nXs5V9dhV
I smile to myself and shake the bag, when I do a book falls out
101Please respect copyright.PENANAts2zHeRNTU
“Hmm”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAIQejYaBqwL
I grab the book and read the title
101Please respect copyright.PENANAwEYuJuKdf7
Evergreens love galore
101Please respect copyright.PENANAq71F2FUMar
I read the back and I find myself smiling harder. This must be a sequel to secretive enchantment. In this sequel this girl and man live together in the castle and something happens to the girl. Forced to keep a secret she must choose between happiness or devastation.
101Please respect copyright.PENANA6ZPMLEBn4D
“What a cornball”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAUN6BQC7PNs
I place the book down on the table and go to shower. After I shower I check the time and I rush as I’m suppose to meet up at the restaurant in 10 minutes. Time flies when your worrying about pregnancy, dresses and books. I blow dry and curl my hair as quickly as I can then place the dress on slowly to not rip it
101Please respect copyright.PENANAgVBDADTyHf
“Of course he chose this dress look how tight it looks”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAXjqsVpOhJv
I examine the dress on me as and notice that my bust was bigger then before and sorer too. Ugh I can’t worry about that now and hopefully this won’t affect me never. I rush out the house and walk to a car that Ryder has sent out for me. I feel my nausea start to boil over so I crack open the window to feel the fresh air as we drive. These heels are abusing my toes but you know what I gotta deal with it.
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“RYDER RYDER”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAqvlxkEOuGt
The screams of rabid people fill my ears as multiple flashing lights blind the entrance of the restaurant. I can see Ryder and Natasha interlocking arms as they enter the restaurant. His Pr team must have tipped the paparazzi here. I soon get out of the car and hear Merriam’s voice in the distance
101Please respect copyright.PENANArCZOilutzt
“SAM”
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She runs to me and then stops.
101Please respect copyright.PENANAs1uCJ7np7v
“You didn’t go inside yet”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAAG5H0KZWzH
She shakes her head no and takes a deep breath in and out
101Please respect copyright.PENANA8Zn9JpVA1q
“You see how much paparazzi is there. The reason they are here because this has been known to be a celebrity hotspot only every Friday. Fancy as hell I know but really I bet they serve food that are very small in portion. It’s like you pay a thousand for a nibble”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAodPh5N1m4z
We walk into the restaurant and the bouncer stops us
101Please respect copyright.PENANABU7wlH0ABR
“Who’s your connection”
101Please respect copyright.PENANA7qCZDCT8lj
“Ryder”
101Please respect copyright.PENANALOyBdOPV25
The bouncer checks the list
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“Names”
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“Sam and Merriam”
101Please respect copyright.PENANANEgWqA7jcD
He nods okay and we enter inside. The smell of seafood and candles swarm the place as soft and warm instrumentals play in the background. The view of the Hudson River and the skylight illuminate the place as it’s dim in nature. We make our way through the chatty crowds to the balcony upstairs where it is lined up with other wealthy people who can afford such luxury. Natasha waves us over and we make our presence known.
101Please respect copyright.PENANAzoXlpRKKLe
“Look nice maids”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAqfXO2N64Kx
Ryder takes his eyes off the menu and looks up at me and for a second I swear I can see something other than a distant stare. For a second in his eyes I can sense some what of a soft look, It’s as if he was staring at a puppy
101Please respect copyright.PENANACm7kTvdjF5
“Sit ladies”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAyTI706jR9j
We all sit down in the round glass table and we pick up the menus. I glance over the menu and so far I see far more caviar dishes then anything of real substance. The only thing I see there that really peeks my interest is a seafood boil.
101Please respect copyright.PENANArq21LuSSPn
“Well hello what would you loves like to order”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAGuz1AZjtV4
Merriam goes first and orders a mushroom infused spaghetti made with wagyu meatballs with a side of caviar. Next Natasha and Ryder over risotto with various seafood dishes with a side of wagyu
101Please respect copyright.PENANA2IlNRX5OZl
“And you mam”
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I rub the bridge of my nose and smile
101Please respect copyright.PENANApJ5k5DUNyW
“May I have the seafood boil please. Add extra potatoes”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAKBr9ldi2yI
Natasha and Merriam look at me as if I’m stupid
101Please respect copyright.PENANAYs9PnSFJJS
“Girl you are in a fancy restaurant and someone’s paying. Don’t be afraid to go all out”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAtcgnenzBDn
Merriam whispers this to me and I hold her hand
101Please respect copyright.PENANAE2Jvc4O9vh
“Really all these foods aren’t very-“
101Please respect copyright.PENANAByMA0cbKj7
“Very what”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAv59NF1Vrdc
Ryder takes a sip of his wine and looks at me. I see a hint of enthusiasm in his eye as he awaits my answer
101Please respect copyright.PENANA7zt8Qj9alX
“Well these are great foods but I’m not hungry for that much”
101Please respect copyright.PENANANcukRfdsju
Natasha laughs and playfully hits Ryders arm
101Please respect copyright.PENANArxk8vufzwH
“Babe you know someone coming here for the first time will not know what to order. Relax on her”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAPzIK9Sc1WS
She lays her head on his shoulder and together we all sit in silence and listen to the music play. I close my eyes and slip into the beat when the sounds of dishes against the table alert me. I look up to see many seafood dishes in my bowl
101Please respect copyright.PENANAPaHuJn88Vg
“Gimme some”
101Please respect copyright.PENANA0lWLXtrSDG
I give Merriam some squid and in exchange she gives me a bite of her wagyu meatball
101Please respect copyright.PENANAYyWvuoZdZt
“Guugh”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAAiJG44iIxv
I gag and spit the meatball out. Natasha gasp but Ryder laughs hard
101Please respect copyright.PENANA60F6BOBsoC
“Exactly how I felt when I ate those for the first time”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAz8Zzay0nwO
I drink water and eat my food to push the gag feeling down and after a while I feel my body start to relax.
101Please respect copyright.PENANAdCc10yHdtp
“Drink some”
101Please respect copyright.PENANALmh89tNfzf
Natasha pours a glass of wine and hands it to me
101Please respect copyright.PENANAO0PePq9s0V
“Ah no thank you I’m not very thirsty for wine”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAS9jWS5HD0O
Natasha pushes it closer to me
101Please respect copyright.PENANAzNp3Y3M4UU
“Oh but I Insist”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAXb7VCmzaZm
Merriam looks at me then grabs the wine glass and chugs the wine
101Please respect copyright.PENANACD7qiXLxzW
“She can’t drink wine it’s against her religion to do so today”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAdk4fbB8R8T
I grin at Merriam
101Please respect copyright.PENANAFJ623FDmaw
“Yea it isn’t worth the trouble to break culture today”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAwXPhfYQfgX
Ryder nods okay and does a cheers
101Please respect copyright.PENANAmwYRYluJj0
“To my first day back”
101Please respect copyright.PENANABnDIxH39Rr
We all clank glasses and after a while I see Natasha start to get even more drunk on wine and Merriam already drunk but getting drunker
101Please respect copyright.PENANAnP5MT2BJ8Y
“I swear people really don’t know how to control their liquor”
101Please respect copyright.PENANATu704ZUh7J
Ryder takes the last sip of wine from his glass and stands up
101Please respect copyright.PENANALOqUhNVm9W
“Follow me”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAUOT1z4TP3o
I nod okay and we walk towards the end of the balcony where the cool breeze of the river takes over. In this spot it’s more dimmer and yet so peaceful
101Please respect copyright.PENANAD0eDjpTh96
“I want to thank you once again for coming out”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAd3U7OB68Jp
Ryder remains facing towards water. I can see the intensity in his eyes even when we are in a calm environment
101Please respect copyright.PENANA1Dl3P2t32B
“It’s just my job-“
101Please respect copyright.PENANAdwcTdQexZv
“No this isn’t what a maid does. They don’t go out to eat with their employers but the fact you did. I thank you”
101Please respect copyright.PENANADRJp3Ejgo3
He gives me a soft look then looks back forward
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“Your welcome”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAumrthdW43w
He points to a star above us
101Please respect copyright.PENANAMU0yQR8QML
“We rarely see stars in New York City yet in this exact moment we caught one. Fate works in mysterious ways doesn’t it”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAdE7WQfhTPg
I walk forward and stand next to him
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“Yeah”
101Please respect copyright.PENANAuaFBKj3Lv9
Alright you have to tell him now
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“Ryder i-“
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“RYDER WHERE ARE YOU”
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I see his attention focus back on Natasha
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“Alright we gotta go”
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“NO WAIT”
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I grab his arm
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“Bold aren’t we Sam”
101Please respect copyright.PENANA7JZRSUM6GW
He turns his back to Natasha and looks down at me
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“Speak since you have me here”
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I look up at him
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101Please respect copyright.PENANArro2L4Yr1A
101Please respect copyright.PENANAAeTNoY6vzW
“I’m pregnant”
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