A tiny amount of cursing
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To: he who I'm in love withThat one idiot who spilt his drink on my damn shirt,
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Now, before you try to kill me, I have a reason for running away. And I unfortunately cannot tell you the reason. But I swear it's a good reason! So, I’m currently in London and contemplating whether to haul myself into the Thames or not happily enjoying the view of the Thames.
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You know, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head lately. At this point, you’re practically living in my head. . . without paying the rent! You free-loader! It’s just, it’s like everywhere I look, everything I do, it always leads to you. I look at a teacup, I remember you like tea. I look at a painting, I remember that you can paint well. I read a book, I remember that you’re my buddy bookworm. And now, as I’m staring out into the Thames, I remember that you’ve always wanted to go to London. I wish I could have taken you with me but it’s too dangerous right now. People are after and I cannot and will not live with myself if anything will happen to you. Besides, what would my existence mean, if you’re not in it? I just, sort of happen to love you but it doesn't matter.
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Also, I want to tell you about my friend, a talking cactus. His name is Bobby. You would love him! He’s very sassy and insults me every chance he gets but he’s a good guy though! The resemblance between you and him is almost uncanny.
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Anyway, I wrote a poem for you that is so terrible it is capable of giving you nightmares for the rest of eternity. Alright, here we go. . . .
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Love is where I found you,
And my love for you is like gluestick,
I will always stick to you,
And my love for you is like bamboo,
I actually met you in a zoo,
And I was admiring your tattoo,
Staring at us was a kangaroo,
Oh, and I remember having a flu,
I also tripped on your shoe,
And when I gazed up from the floor,
I saw your eyes were very blue,
And god, it was quite a view.
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I’ll try to send you more letters when I’m sure people aren’t trying to murder me. When this is all over, I will take you back to London and we will have a wonderful vacation here!
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Till then,
He who must not be named.
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P.S. Bobby just said he was in love with Bob, a fish. Weird times, I say. Weird times.
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and then Add to home screen.