The life of me? blog - I was Five

I was Five

By: FossyJoci

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl69k7dkTEh

I was five.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIn0hTTg8QX

I was five when I was told that I was moving,

that I had to leave my friends and the life that I had behind.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFE0RYosJV

I was five.

Moving states and places,

The Change was hard,

new people and a new start,

I was five.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXd88GgK2S

I was five,

When I met new friends

and I made amends

Then I was ten

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCWHxSSQYU

When I was ten,

My dad knew my best friends,

But he stepped down.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhyeMkG0aq

When I was ten,

He got a new job,

I had to leave my friends once again,

I had to leave them.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwH2FghbQY5

I was ten.

When my friends and I continued to speak

When my hunger started to betray me

When I had to restart my life,

And meet new people on a new street.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLytRNlm61w

I was ten.

When I still got to keep my home,

I didn’t like it though,

My mother and father fought,

So I slept over at my best friend’s house

I was twelve.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQY8ff2mZb

I was twelve.

It was thanksgiving

Of all days in the year

That is when my parents decided

We were to move.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYJ1RXjbda

I was twelve.

When I had my first fainting spell

I had to leave everyone.

My friends and I didn’t have a falling out

If we had I would have never come out

Of my room where I would wail for comfort

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQcg7XgBAq

I was twelve.

When my brain began to think

About how I am going to keep my friends

People change and so do I

but they are the ones that keep me sane.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9849tg60P

I was thirteen

When I was in a new state once again.

New house, new school, new people.

I. Hate. It. Here!

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNDAI1dCSg

It has been almost three years.

I know the reason,

The reason I was torn from my friends,

The reason I have to live in this hell.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1LWOz0zdF

I want to go back.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHSTFDbK7W

Back when I had my best friends right by my side.

Back when I saw them daily

To when I spoke to them bravely

TO WHEN I WASN’T SAD.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6R8TKW8Pb

I am fifteen years old.

I can sleep but I don’t

I like to stay happy even when I’m not.

I talk to my best friends,

but not as much as I should.

I need to talk to them more,

Before I overthink.

Before I lose them,

And before I lose myself.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLQi5tVTxx

I am fifteen years of age,

I have been forced to move states or schools

Four times.

Four times my parents have said, never again.

You are going to graduate high school here.

Each time these things happened

I got progressively worse.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7AqCJcais

They look at me and ask where their happy little daughter is

Not even bothering to notice that she hasn’t been there,

Ever since I had to leave my best friends

One Boy

One Girl

The lights of my life

People who can just so easily take away that light

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfdL3xcm9A

Talking to them makes everything better

I feel the slightest bit insecure about something

And they instantly say the smallest things,

Howdy.

And everything melts away

All the insecurities

All the Pain

All the words in my brain.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPfbDtXYsk

I am fifteen.

I read books to escape,

All the people in my brain

And those who surround me.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC38mQ3kGjr

The library is my sanctuary,

My safe place.

The one place I feel sane.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5AYJ8G0ua

I won’t speak but others will.

The people I surround myself with

It is not good for me,

They are not from my roots

but I am stuck in theirs.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6ILZmhs13

I didn’t read one book

And for that, I get constant jabs.

Preying on my weaknesses.

And my insecurities.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18Zhnh9YGf

I talked to them.

The people I surround myself with,

I made it known that,

I am not ok with what they say,

And what they do.

But no matter how much I try,

“They will never listen to you”

So I have made a decision

Once I can be confident,

I will free myself

From the burden that is my “friends”

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjoG5seQCz

Why did life have to turn out the way it is?

Was it my parents?

Was it my friends?437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74sTQDYPcl
Was it me?

What went wrong?

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJWz8ghk9m

In the life of a fifteen-year-old.

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlQYKebeDU

I am now sixteen

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6ZiJTavwX

Looking back on this poem

A year in time has passed

And I have begun to relax

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0XQXh2e3C

I have lived with the guilt

Knowing what I know

The reason why I was pulled

I miss my best friends it's true

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojUqM8kkJo

Living without them is like living without food

My hunger deteriorates

I get lightheaded

My body hot

My ears and eyes shot

Everything blurred

I can’t see a thing

Muffled sounds

As I fall from my feet

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8TMlLVQ80

The issue at hand got better once

But it is slowly getting worse again

Sometimes I forget to eat

Other I just see food and can’t think

Of anything other than not eating it

It makes me gag

I would rather scream

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUWdNizypq

So I go to the theater

Where I can screech

I prefer to belt and sing

To get my frustration out

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ilzH0d3Ae

But the one thing is

I can’t do that without

Those “friends” showing up too

I don’t want them there

It’s my safe space

For me to survive

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbsxzKKa4R

To get away from those

Who make my insecurities thrive

But then there was him

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7iNTWU1qu

He got me to eat

Somehow I don’t even know how

To walk and run

And somehow breathe again

I don’t know how

But I have known him for a long time

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ttt1fp3Eh

But we will not date

For the fear of losing our friendship

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoU88o0vtz2

I have been through that before

I cannot do it again

It broke my heart

And it still does to this day

I don’t want it to suffer like that ever again

So we will stay friends

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheuyLQgF7r

I am not ok

I never will fully be ok

I will give you that

Because no one is ever fully okay

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObBztbaHYT

I lost the ability to be ok

Long ago

When I lost my best friends

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgsqbdY4DS

I haven’t seen them in three years

And that is when it all began

I don’t know how to fix this

Am I mentally ill, probably.

The thought that I have ADHD

Has a high chance

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZDnpUOZtL

But for now, I will live

Because I thrive on spite

And I will try to be happy

And to stay positive

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VJnSHYwYL

In my sixteen-year-old mind

437Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsgfjouIzv

ns216.73.216.224da2

介面主題:

字體大小:

行距:

段距:

自動加載下一章