I want to die.
I 've been having these thoughts for a few years now and I'm only 30 this year. No, not the suicidal type. I DO NOT mean I'd like to kill myself, more like I've had enough living. There is a drastic difference between wanting to die and wanting to take your life. Suicide is literally self-murder. It's a crime. With a pretty obvious motive - depression or guilt or I don't know? I haven't really taken time to research on this as I am neither depressed nor suicidal. And I dare say this isn't me being denial. I have already asked a psychologist to test whether I'm depressed or not and the nearest clinical condition she told me is that, I actually forgot the diagnosis. Its just in a nutshell, I might be a little crazy - according to her!
So back to suicide. Nah. Its not on my vocabulary. And I don't need to update my mental dictionary to integrate this word.
Well, I did not break my heart. 197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubJPhlX0Vd
I did not face any traumatic experience.
I did not break my skull.
I don't have shattered dreams. 197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYq3rLcM7h
But I did have dreams, and managed to reach them that I now live in sheer contentment. And no, to me life hasn't lost its meaning. I just understood too quickly that it is a cycle of happening, that could either cause joy or grief, pain or relief, satisfaction or disappointment; a dichotomy of emotions and its ranges within. Its meant to teach lessons, I believe. A different one for each of us. And I guess the lesson I learned is that its not reaching the destination that matters, its enjoying the journey. And I simply just had enough of the scenery. 197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNDAbXZl9Q
So, I wake up everyday, energized, thinking
Is this finally the day I die?197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuSEK2AIkf
and then Add to home screen.