No Plagiarism!pKeTtTQ7qzJdJb8bGLcVposted on PENANA 「…..抱歉我講得太直接了」8964 copyright protection80PENANAoq8hzYmXF7 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAfgzM2dRDH1
8964 copyright protection80PENANAECfsDqQzIK 維尼
「沒…沒關係,畢竟月鴻同學這是已經比較好了」8964 copyright protection80PENANAc5574nUbFj 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAmOswu8Fh4C
8964 copyright protection80PENANATogl0tlDLP 維尼
的確比之前網路上的留言來講,我已經是小case了,畢竟也沒有真的用不好的言語。8964 copyright protection80PENANAMJhARsGhGQ 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANA98lf0es0B6
8964 copyright protection80PENANABSjJBhlS2E 維尼
雲晴同學也立即了恢復了狀況,打起了精神。8964 copyright protection80PENANALFixn3mCgY 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANATmRkS7QRup
8964 copyright protection80PENANAy69uevYXz7 維尼
「可...可以問一下是哪裡不行嗎?」8964 copyright protection80PENANAqZnQVeVr9M 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAt6UYpJkdN2
8964 copyright protection80PENANAX00vJdXFk8 維尼
她委婉的向我詢問出問題的點,其實不用這樣也行畢竟都答應要幫助她了,怎麼可能說完不行就走。8964 copyright protection80PENANAxapTFvzy6t 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANA94hrz8iknr
8964 copyright protection80PENANA9EZvjKCs5s 維尼
「首先不講劇情好了,劇情的話只有一點問題這我們可以之後討論,但重點是用詞方面的問題」8964 copyright protection80PENANA3w7tUUhJJB 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAy0k3ykESaY
8964 copyright protection80PENANABOgWRaYYfU 維尼
「用詞....」8964 copyright protection80PENANA4MKhqyfDtW 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAuUrdDfIFdn
8964 copyright protection80PENANADf1FwhzDXo 維尼
「首先是贅字太多了」8964 copyright protection80PENANAM2f9aHMoiZ 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAHFbXxJU0fr
8964 copyright protection80PENANA64RKLee48a 維尼
「贅字是什麼意思?」8964 copyright protection80PENANAcbJJjjWm91 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANARObIBORlAz
8964 copyright protection80PENANAod63TnVoNG 維尼
「就是一些多餘的字喔,現在有很多新手作家常常把一些重複的字不斷的加進文章裡面,讓人讀起來很不順暢」8964 copyright protection80PENANAXIHQ6VAWwI 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAWNJVrAFirX
8964 copyright protection80PENANAbE2wcLZvCF 維尼
「原來如此……」8964 copyright protection80PENANAJqpM9jBJEV 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAX8cpXjXIfC
8964 copyright protection80PENANAQWfBhHk4rK 維尼
「最常見的就是那個、這些、並且、而且、還有、然而等等...不是說不能用但要學會如何去做運用」8964 copyright protection80PENANA56NevSNqKU 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAee6o6WgGL8
8964 copyright protection80PENANAzD4e2CSVGP 維尼
這是很多作家初期常常犯的錯誤,我當時也是一樣。8964 copyright protection80PENANAx3FXHI1C1g 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANA8ckbK4RUOw
8964 copyright protection80PENANA6cve6Nf5rO 維尼
但通常都會由朋友或是網路的讀者看過後提出來,但可惜的是,沒什麼人關注雲晴同學的作品。8964 copyright protection80PENANAWqg1WVxlIi 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAgZOdpxroMA
8964 copyright protection80PENANA5l5WPIlSNm 維尼
而她也沒有勇氣向其他人說出自己在寫小說這個事情…..8964 copyright protection80PENANAGpsSY25nzW 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAqnwefoiuTf
8964 copyright protection80PENANASLL9V4ZkeF 維尼
在雲晴同學聽了我的話後,將手放在了下巴上面思考著什麼表情十分的認真。8964 copyright protection80PENANAxeYgk4Vskz 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAak5w2cv1py
8964 copyright protection80PENANAFJzlALaOLS 維尼
「阿!就像是如果要在一大堆人面前講話的時候,會因為太過緊張導致一直出現同一個詞,之前在台上發表感言的學生就是這樣,讓人感覺他一定很緊張」8964 copyright protection80PENANAV961DZ6bj3 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAiujLLRN6Mn
8964 copyright protection80PENANAjZMgmyTegb 維尼
突然她就像是想到甚麼一樣將自己的想法說出來,同時也順便嘴了一下之前的學生代表致詞。8964 copyright protection80PENANAbKM48lrfIC 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAxDoq4Sggkv
8964 copyright protection80PENANAYiDgcOHBPr 維尼
「差不多..就只是變成在文章上面的贅字而已」8964 copyright protection80PENANApJg3SIRTYz 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAxYhvNjGL5D
8964 copyright protection80PENANAmudiunCnfg 維尼
贅字通常是在打字時無意間用到的,時常會以為加了這些字後句子會比較順暢,但其實這都是要看狀況。8964 copyright protection80PENANAMSdgXOQyXr 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANA17BnS1LO0j
8964 copyright protection80PENANA5yIKmDsNR4 維尼
不然通常時候去掉那些字也不會突然改變句子的意思。8964 copyright protection80PENANA4rXHWf9JZ9 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAvyaliHdm39
8964 copyright protection80PENANARebLMjo6XU 維尼
「那我看一下!」8964 copyright protection80PENANAcgaEOWnF8B 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANApq5DZN09OG
8964 copyright protection80PENANAr8sTDkxAjY 維尼
「等….」8964 copyright protection80PENANAySyjL6Yhlu 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANA5QtR2Uubce
8964 copyright protection80PENANAM2PT46epF8 維尼
在我提出問題後,雲晴同學快速的從對面跑了過來,坐在了我旁邊..我們的手臂貼在了一起8964 copyright protection80PENANAb3ZC3Mcv1b 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAoxKLEM07DE
8964 copyright protection80PENANAqJcfG7ZbFX 維尼
好..好近....而且好柔軟….這實在是有點不妙..心臟跳個不停…..8964 copyright protection80PENANA7KG4ZkQo7L 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAyiP273kIvA
8964 copyright protection80PENANAGDhE5hHdTI 維尼
雲晴同學身上的味道不斷的朝我的鼻子大量過來。8964 copyright protection80PENANASBXn9ixYAb 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAkLglBAVLpU
8964 copyright protection80PENANA4I9AFprJD6 維尼
讓我不禁下意識的往旁邊移了一下...8964 copyright protection80PENANADIp4Uww5w5 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAVoIKJ39BcO
8964 copyright protection80PENANA5qEaXs9Jcp 維尼
「阿謝謝!」8964 copyright protection80PENANAjP1deUDcve 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAjdSw0aaV4Y
8964 copyright protection80PENANAngtwR0pMTF 維尼
不不不為什麼妳也跟著移過來了呢!8964 copyright protection80PENANAuFXvESIMvG 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAEzb5Jt59U8
8964 copyright protection80PENANAmdGBZOSsRH 維尼
雲晴同學貌似以為我是怕她無法看清電腦螢幕才坐過去,反而又往我這裏靠了過來..手臂反而貼得更緊..8964 copyright protection80PENANAbpf4H6lvmN 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAvU9mMdMvcs
8964 copyright protection80PENANACfDK0e0Zcv 維尼
這女孩也太無意識了吧..8964 copyright protection80PENANApyYusId3fL 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAS2xbjAscuO
8964 copyright protection80PENANA9r4gqCUOif 維尼
話說為甚麼女孩子的身體只要一碰到就會有香味出來啊!難道是天然的香水嗎!8964 copyright protection80PENANABZMufBLkBr 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANA5JPBbDIbA5
8964 copyright protection80PENANAxd2BrzWod2 維尼
「阿!真的欸…這裡一整個句子出現了好多並且跟然而….」8964 copyright protection80PENANAre50vgvu0a 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAI7lPVhGQCs
8964 copyright protection80PENANAeXHGm54nDF 維尼
「咳...沒錯像這樣雖然有些人會覺得可能是因為新人寫的所以才會勉強接受,但如果一直都沒改掉的話就會讓人感到不耐煩」8964 copyright protection80PENANAZwAX1HEPx5 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAUu6EDExith
8964 copyright protection80PENANAWCMjMPwbej 維尼
我假裝咳嗽一下,讓心情給恢復過來並繼續解釋,幸好雲晴同學沒發現我的異狀。8964 copyright protection80PENANAE9dSC9ZKNo 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAHs5jdV3wue
8964 copyright protection80PENANArSQE6PVIlJ 維尼
「原...原來如此」8964 copyright protection80PENANAwP0Mpf3UhO 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAbpxiUqB36d
8964 copyright protection80PENANAYlEnOvWXOd 維尼
「是的..其實有時候適當的去掉這些字或是改成其他詞會更容易讓人讀下去」8964 copyright protection80PENANAMGxtrs6g12 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAkFSFT4aXhc
8964 copyright protection80PENANAMZkhqQWYVf 維尼
「我..我知道了..來試看看吧」8964 copyright protection80PENANAk2BDCQA7Ku 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAYEqDZNlmbN
8964 copyright protection80PENANA1WyKf6E3FN 維尼
「阿等等還有一個地方」8964 copyright protection80PENANAMJhwnf78Kf 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAv5UONV4fxf
8964 copyright protection80PENANAIjeaEm3oCg 維尼
「嗯?」8964 copyright protection80PENANATJlLXuNJ4d 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAB3E1T6nvZJ
8964 copyright protection80PENANAjLhJ8HegM8 維尼
「就是標點符號喔」8964 copyright protection80PENANAqyevQRp7mU 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAvlE0zWJYQi
8964 copyright protection80PENANAAttUeYJHsj 維尼
「標點符號?可是我都有標阿…」8964 copyright protection80PENANAfYhoDR5ygn 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAUljd6sLAUy
8964 copyright protection80PENANARUnTNQNXEe 維尼
「是有標沒錯,但標點符號就等於一個中繼點,讓人暫停休息的感覺,同時也代表了那句話的表達方式」8964 copyright protection80PENANAJ6yw9MHIa7 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAqmWEZEQ66r
8964 copyright protection80PENANApCNBbmsZKw 維尼
「表達方式….」8964 copyright protection80PENANAWnz0TlLM06 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAy0sMOKgB4y
8964 copyright protection80PENANArzxxpRELuu 維尼
「沒錯..雲晴同學與其說是表達方式不如說是標太少了,讓人無法休息反應過來,尤其是雲晴同學又是寫熱血戰鬥的小說」8964 copyright protection80PENANAngkkfdRhzE 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANABxtI3suB4d
8964 copyright protection80PENANAPXHEOr4v6Z 維尼
「讓人無法適應嗎?」8964 copyright protection80PENANAkkpicfUoeA 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANALv5P2Ovrn9
8964 copyright protection80PENANAcm4qZHrzla 維尼
「對喔,通常戰鬥小說在形容戰鬥的時候會用大量的句子去解釋當時情況,但如果妳四行字只用2個表點符號去描寫的話,就有可能讓人忘記前面在幹嘛」8964 copyright protection80PENANAK0PsDg1TRC 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANA0PLbOhPVEJ
8964 copyright protection80PENANAefFIB0qyyC 維尼
「原..原來如此」8964 copyright protection80PENANAEFrCJbuRJA 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAJ29NobRLbj
8964 copyright protection80PENANAMTJ4qTL2iZ 維尼
「斷句就是讓大家暫時理解前面的話題,吸收之後再繼續閱讀,不然的話直接Enter換一行寫也可以,但有時候會熱血起來就會一直寫就是了,所以標點符號很重要」8964 copyright protection80PENANAXJZo83G6tw 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAqbbDCGbhya
8964 copyright protection80PENANAnWcdkWyU81 維尼
「我知道了!那現在就來試改看看吧!」8964 copyright protection80PENANAtbcScVifQq 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANApfZmVlDqJA
8964 copyright protection80PENANA2xySalKHEC 維尼
雲晴同學在聽完我的話後,重新打起了字聽從我的意見適當講一下詞語給刪除或是進行更換。8964 copyright protection80PENANAIq0HhgG1va 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAofDYNT9HaB
8964 copyright protection80PENANAi1C57ARebq 維尼
順便將標點符號給進行整理。8964 copyright protection80PENANAn4hf2Qo71m 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANA70Eru4yhoz
8964 copyright protection80PENANAazg4ZyV2jA 維尼
雲晴同學認真的注視著電腦螢幕,那專注的樣子,讓我的視線忍不住的飄向了她的側臉..8964 copyright protection80PENANAop3rOiyQcs 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANADkYtcKRhII
8964 copyright protection80PENANA60d7Itft4N 維尼
果然好美......8964 copyright protection80PENANAVcf1EeNhCA 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAyBcRXYEFRW
8964 copyright protection80PENANAuanSod7Ego 維尼
我再次為雲晴同學的長相感到驚嘆,不管看幾次都能讓人如此的入迷。8964 copyright protection80PENANAFDTfMd6pgH 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAJhljmuP2AY
8964 copyright protection80PENANAx0qloqI8M6 維尼
就像之前想的,雖然不會帶進戀愛感情在裡面,就只是單純的像看到美麗的風景停下來欣賞一般。8964 copyright protection80PENANAeogGsyeVF4 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAx6uBQxtDto
8964 copyright protection80PENANAaoFKk5gyiw 維尼
細長的睫毛,光滑的皮膚,苗條均勻的身材要說是上天用盡全力所打造的藝術品也不為過。8964 copyright protection80PENANAm3eEj8iPvK 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAi58D0FvRZ7
8964 copyright protection80PENANA4bc4bAAYf1 維尼
讓人感到訝異可愛的地方就是她喜歡衣服上的涅噗醬這個興趣,剛剛查了一下涅噗醬好像是某部動畫的吉祥物之類的。8964 copyright protection80PENANAu359YMX78d 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAFNx2md6wYN
8964 copyright protection80PENANAa63zeqyObY 維尼
回到話題,如果學校是社會縮影的話,雲晴同學一定是處在頂端的人。8964 copyright protection80PENANAUjZiyMF562 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAS1vv1Uwwbr
8964 copyright protection80PENANAV44FA8sXzj 維尼
不管是在社交方面還是面容都是頂級的水準。8964 copyright protection80PENANAifpWX4jJDp 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAHtpGKnquHE
8964 copyright protection80PENANAcS3r2Muaol 維尼
而這樣的她竟然就坐在我的旁邊.....8964 copyright protection80PENANAg0fcZ1546a 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAFXsSlhUyeK
8964 copyright protection80PENANADCXfgXucpK 維尼
有著輕小說家...這個夢想並持續在努力著..就算受到了打擊也依然持續著的創作….8964 copyright protection80PENANAt3IQ0LNr6X 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAnArTqSYQFN
8964 copyright protection80PENANADVyz865lpB 維尼
對曾經逃跑的我來說....極為嘲諷…...這存在的本身就像是在嘲笑我一樣……但對我來說又像是動力…8964 copyright protection80PENANAUimhoYphRv 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANA1jIdLpADGa
8964 copyright protection80PENANAJpb3WVG63X 維尼
從那一天起我沉寂已久的某種開關又再次開啟,只是缺乏一個操舵手讓它啟動………8964 copyright protection80PENANA9sqI5TKhJO 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAJY4uKm8jH5
8964 copyright protection80PENANAYUOkwEb0Kw 維尼
「月鴻同學怎麼了嗎?有那裡出問題嗎?」8964 copyright protection80PENANAoxJqj2ReOe 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAJzPt8zCAvM
8964 copyright protection80PENANAlvAcABqjuh 維尼
雲晴同學貌似偷偷的注意到我的視線在她身上,以為是小說那裡有問題。8964 copyright protection80PENANApQKXTMDjBV 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANATphATMEGL1
8964 copyright protection80PENANAmuwQlggbhr 維尼
「不....只是覺得..雲晴同學果然很漂亮啊….」8964 copyright protection80PENANAVeq7IgyJdp 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAVJ6PcNpyMz
8964 copyright protection80PENANAHwXQnNPg1g 維尼
毫無意識..我將心裡想的話給講出來,那保持熱忱又不斷的在向夢想前進的樣子....真的讓我覺得非常的耀眼..8964 copyright protection80PENANAe9ojElGwBw 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAFcVP4cKkEu
8964 copyright protection80PENANA3sWImE1LiK 維尼
「什......你你你你在突然說什麼阿!」8964 copyright protection80PENANACdHDyQxXv8 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANArcw8asx3hH
8964 copyright protection80PENANAQVrbO5rqdC 維尼
「不.....沒事抱歉..」8964 copyright protection80PENANABlmNvulJuf 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAvZO8XXosel
8964 copyright protection80PENANA5orUlxPuDO 維尼
雲晴同學在聽了我的話後,臉就像是番茄紅了起來,想必被我這樣當面講她感到十分害羞吧..8964 copyright protection80PENANAVkK4Bc1lXV 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAw4yvuIU7Q1
8964 copyright protection80PENANAKSGomid7wp 維尼
要是平常的我一定也會焦急的跟她道歉......8964 copyright protection80PENANAvY9BorqP2B 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAbIIgKtVC0T
8964 copyright protection80PENANAcQMOyavT6d 維尼
不過我只是搖了搖頭,簡單的跟害羞的她說聲抱歉而已。8964 copyright protection80PENANAtCTf9iYnIL 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAbdRmWMhzHF
8964 copyright protection80PENANAQeoznwblIq 維尼
無法說出口…..8964 copyright protection80PENANAdou8DdgD9a 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAl5inXb8Iw7
8964 copyright protection80PENANA5HNo6mvd6f 維尼
現在我心裡都是滿滿的對於我自己羞愧...8964 copyright protection80PENANAKPKpsceAay 維尼
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