No Plagiarism!UImGBsiBoEvKqQtgbQmjposted on PENANA 「…..抱歉我講得太直接了」8964 copyright protection82PENANAyt42mXt6Nr 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAtjK5Lyu8hE
8964 copyright protection82PENANAQB91vfft9H 維尼
「沒…沒關係,畢竟月鴻同學這是已經比較好了」8964 copyright protection82PENANAEqQm9TbroW 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAZgFHv7iYtg
8964 copyright protection82PENANAWiFdxeDmH2 維尼
的確比之前網路上的留言來講,我已經是小case了,畢竟也沒有真的用不好的言語。8964 copyright protection82PENANAovZC75QnXm 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANALR0rqvoEWR
8964 copyright protection82PENANAyw6GlnPEZh 維尼
雲晴同學也立即了恢復了狀況,打起了精神。8964 copyright protection82PENANAsFgTw7ZNPM 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAH7HWfCtm8u
8964 copyright protection82PENANAELOn4MUUzW 維尼
「可...可以問一下是哪裡不行嗎?」8964 copyright protection82PENANANfibX5CFEO 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAhsDD6GpXGo
8964 copyright protection82PENANA5vwNSFDXdg 維尼
她委婉的向我詢問出問題的點,其實不用這樣也行畢竟都答應要幫助她了,怎麼可能說完不行就走。8964 copyright protection82PENANANqacV83eMz 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANA5TiwSfwSSn
8964 copyright protection82PENANAB05a9Zg82Y 維尼
「首先不講劇情好了,劇情的話只有一點問題這我們可以之後討論,但重點是用詞方面的問題」8964 copyright protection82PENANApY2eKpkJgG 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAAL4BHIerWv
8964 copyright protection82PENANAFWNEmVojFm 維尼
「用詞....」8964 copyright protection82PENANAjDGUEIG9f9 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAgAKMc8NDIh
8964 copyright protection82PENANAyznsjUkeRd 維尼
「首先是贅字太多了」8964 copyright protection82PENANAyG5BaHTV19 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAcN1mz99DsA
8964 copyright protection82PENANAlhFbt4tb7K 維尼
「贅字是什麼意思?」8964 copyright protection82PENANAQ6Dpax7sLA 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAvEyftbmzmX
8964 copyright protection82PENANAG0fi9aL05T 維尼
「就是一些多餘的字喔,現在有很多新手作家常常把一些重複的字不斷的加進文章裡面,讓人讀起來很不順暢」8964 copyright protection82PENANAEzOB8Gwmoy 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAJAATOSZp11
8964 copyright protection82PENANAr8oFWFThiw 維尼
「原來如此……」8964 copyright protection82PENANAjR3OuAHbJZ 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAzMYUZTPv6O
8964 copyright protection82PENANARPdF6lJ8IF 維尼
「最常見的就是那個、這些、並且、而且、還有、然而等等...不是說不能用但要學會如何去做運用」8964 copyright protection82PENANA1F7hGVOsTW 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAMdfWGLY33c
8964 copyright protection82PENANAuVZNZpQluK 維尼
這是很多作家初期常常犯的錯誤,我當時也是一樣。8964 copyright protection82PENANAc68fqVBfH7 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAf6RtieFF5W
8964 copyright protection82PENANAJMmXQ6r4Lc 維尼
但通常都會由朋友或是網路的讀者看過後提出來,但可惜的是,沒什麼人關注雲晴同學的作品。8964 copyright protection82PENANAyODXQvrLh0 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAotvuL4VDzn
8964 copyright protection82PENANA1PSUWVMjR5 維尼
而她也沒有勇氣向其他人說出自己在寫小說這個事情…..8964 copyright protection82PENANAKetuB8j2lz 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAq6j2LMUdYp
8964 copyright protection82PENANAZvvjBjWMgi 維尼
在雲晴同學聽了我的話後,將手放在了下巴上面思考著什麼表情十分的認真。8964 copyright protection82PENANA33HA8X1Snt 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAA0Oo4KpAry
8964 copyright protection82PENANAhSeAtNkWud 維尼
「阿!就像是如果要在一大堆人面前講話的時候,會因為太過緊張導致一直出現同一個詞,之前在台上發表感言的學生就是這樣,讓人感覺他一定很緊張」8964 copyright protection82PENANApwBxVPOM7V 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAYayCPDMSHv
8964 copyright protection82PENANAzjETnsBLOx 維尼
突然她就像是想到甚麼一樣將自己的想法說出來,同時也順便嘴了一下之前的學生代表致詞。8964 copyright protection82PENANAYpSlCe7lNo 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAwKDo0TOh6h
8964 copyright protection82PENANAcRMT2xhjsk 維尼
「差不多..就只是變成在文章上面的贅字而已」8964 copyright protection82PENANAG8tsQpU7Im 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAkI1Sxcd1x4
8964 copyright protection82PENANA3bbgvh5nuu 維尼
贅字通常是在打字時無意間用到的,時常會以為加了這些字後句子會比較順暢,但其實這都是要看狀況。8964 copyright protection82PENANA8aESHbJR0w 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAM3f2jjL2NZ
8964 copyright protection82PENANADvrCrYb3Od 維尼
不然通常時候去掉那些字也不會突然改變句子的意思。8964 copyright protection82PENANAt7k3t0DIRR 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANA4O5JrlMWSi
8964 copyright protection82PENANAL6sH91CbQK 維尼
「那我看一下!」8964 copyright protection82PENANAx1I4COapNg 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAl4WN9w5Z5W
8964 copyright protection82PENANAqdSDmZHcuu 維尼
「等….」8964 copyright protection82PENANA2urc8j9L0P 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAWNbwPPMpgn
8964 copyright protection82PENANAXrm4XmR0m1 維尼
在我提出問題後,雲晴同學快速的從對面跑了過來,坐在了我旁邊..我們的手臂貼在了一起8964 copyright protection82PENANAecoW3yvaKQ 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANApFR64uOLkm
8964 copyright protection82PENANAAUK5IJ6T1x 維尼
好..好近....而且好柔軟….這實在是有點不妙..心臟跳個不停…..8964 copyright protection82PENANA6sJQf0fenZ 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAMJX7vrWrVQ
8964 copyright protection82PENANAtyb8y7xflM 維尼
雲晴同學身上的味道不斷的朝我的鼻子大量過來。8964 copyright protection82PENANAfNCUFP9Nj0 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAjMX8b2O3uy
8964 copyright protection82PENANAOFnh78JTBD 維尼
讓我不禁下意識的往旁邊移了一下...8964 copyright protection82PENANASgjrekF1HX 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAGqLcHw4UDB
8964 copyright protection82PENANAGsGBCaRPee 維尼
「阿謝謝!」8964 copyright protection82PENANAoJ2Vg2431l 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAwDgQfiuRQi
8964 copyright protection82PENANAEN1OTmCps6 維尼
不不不為什麼妳也跟著移過來了呢!8964 copyright protection82PENANA1rdQaHCqIY 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAsdg8UWC3Be
8964 copyright protection82PENANAkFY0RqcIB5 維尼
雲晴同學貌似以為我是怕她無法看清電腦螢幕才坐過去,反而又往我這裏靠了過來..手臂反而貼得更緊..8964 copyright protection82PENANAXPjcwF6dZn 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANA9bLB3eqLFP
8964 copyright protection82PENANAqKRVN3EaP6 維尼
這女孩也太無意識了吧..8964 copyright protection82PENANAzHMhJuWfWj 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAOVkPAqjIPo
8964 copyright protection82PENANAeNx6Lnk66i 維尼
話說為甚麼女孩子的身體只要一碰到就會有香味出來啊!難道是天然的香水嗎!8964 copyright protection82PENANAU5fFwIo1CM 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAOqOb34Eg8c
8964 copyright protection82PENANAGYGKjDewQM 維尼
「阿!真的欸…這裡一整個句子出現了好多並且跟然而….」8964 copyright protection82PENANAuT0Fvta3lg 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANARWzuwybccF
8964 copyright protection82PENANAtNHFFCYOEk 維尼
「咳...沒錯像這樣雖然有些人會覺得可能是因為新人寫的所以才會勉強接受,但如果一直都沒改掉的話就會讓人感到不耐煩」8964 copyright protection82PENANAip1eN4zttN 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAX6x4ckPZg1
8964 copyright protection82PENANA3vCLCtr9rk 維尼
我假裝咳嗽一下,讓心情給恢復過來並繼續解釋,幸好雲晴同學沒發現我的異狀。8964 copyright protection82PENANALHH7q6PWYi 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANApNaG5TyyiW
8964 copyright protection82PENANAOCbjfE0403 維尼
「原...原來如此」8964 copyright protection82PENANAOkG4PgcOMT 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAr99jr71XHz
8964 copyright protection82PENANA9kljckEeEE 維尼
「是的..其實有時候適當的去掉這些字或是改成其他詞會更容易讓人讀下去」8964 copyright protection82PENANA1LptFpIQdA 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANALrpgigKNuh
8964 copyright protection82PENANAnyF2TXd0ix 維尼
「我..我知道了..來試看看吧」8964 copyright protection82PENANAQjBBxNZ2w7 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANA85ioZLk5ll
8964 copyright protection82PENANAd5aqVnKoF0 維尼
「阿等等還有一個地方」8964 copyright protection82PENANA4KzjnpZudw 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAFyjIIbyC85
8964 copyright protection82PENANAff8pVvug4t 維尼
「嗯?」8964 copyright protection82PENANAuuJlQcsPSy 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAzKeHYrp4Yz
8964 copyright protection82PENANAUjAKEtKKVD 維尼
「就是標點符號喔」8964 copyright protection82PENANAYsRAGMVKWe 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANA08zDNBTUlh
8964 copyright protection82PENANAWPlZIwX9o6 維尼
「標點符號?可是我都有標阿…」8964 copyright protection82PENANAIPhkuZE6wV 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANASWImsAgj7Z
8964 copyright protection82PENANAzbvsNLNWrP 維尼
「是有標沒錯,但標點符號就等於一個中繼點,讓人暫停休息的感覺,同時也代表了那句話的表達方式」8964 copyright protection82PENANAknsN7CG0lg 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANA3ITPg54smZ
8964 copyright protection82PENANAVkZ6vrXhWO 維尼
「表達方式….」8964 copyright protection82PENANA7XjQf6uvCd 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANACiBFYZnvAF
8964 copyright protection82PENANACXhWR5HeXd 維尼
「沒錯..雲晴同學與其說是表達方式不如說是標太少了,讓人無法休息反應過來,尤其是雲晴同學又是寫熱血戰鬥的小說」8964 copyright protection82PENANAthlFgmqxLp 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAnC4Vb9SOCQ
8964 copyright protection82PENANAmyEcxSVUft 維尼
「讓人無法適應嗎?」8964 copyright protection82PENANABUuuU06ROy 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAVMUpVGwBcn
8964 copyright protection82PENANA58BWDMY3Gt 維尼
「對喔,通常戰鬥小說在形容戰鬥的時候會用大量的句子去解釋當時情況,但如果妳四行字只用2個表點符號去描寫的話,就有可能讓人忘記前面在幹嘛」8964 copyright protection82PENANAhoELcdliy2 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAj2IjDvAO8R
8964 copyright protection82PENANA2gsedU1MUl 維尼
「原..原來如此」8964 copyright protection82PENANAilhMm4wl2f 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAGet9frc350
8964 copyright protection82PENANAKtayFr1wKb 維尼
「斷句就是讓大家暫時理解前面的話題,吸收之後再繼續閱讀,不然的話直接Enter換一行寫也可以,但有時候會熱血起來就會一直寫就是了,所以標點符號很重要」8964 copyright protection82PENANAvSyqafh6rV 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANARHc1cFfjyV
8964 copyright protection82PENANASvLJG0PQ81 維尼
「我知道了!那現在就來試改看看吧!」8964 copyright protection82PENANAgcgIoavKcP 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAEHy7fLx4ZF
8964 copyright protection82PENANAlkd1DagbIB 維尼
雲晴同學在聽完我的話後,重新打起了字聽從我的意見適當講一下詞語給刪除或是進行更換。8964 copyright protection82PENANAIWw14os4Ig 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAGxygYwxU9G
8964 copyright protection82PENANAFEyTC6VTMc 維尼
順便將標點符號給進行整理。8964 copyright protection82PENANAEvMu5aTd0P 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAjXD546MY4C
8964 copyright protection82PENANAq6teWZEHlY 維尼
雲晴同學認真的注視著電腦螢幕,那專注的樣子,讓我的視線忍不住的飄向了她的側臉..8964 copyright protection82PENANANjPxhLJ0Qt 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAU34W5SWPLb
8964 copyright protection82PENANASNG4xHnJY8 維尼
果然好美......8964 copyright protection82PENANAYs4LHMDpwf 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAnGQBkrvasp
8964 copyright protection82PENANA034fq6OGEk 維尼
我再次為雲晴同學的長相感到驚嘆,不管看幾次都能讓人如此的入迷。8964 copyright protection82PENANArY2iIwlvQe 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAngN66QdUlS
8964 copyright protection82PENANA5SBkJXd60j 維尼
就像之前想的,雖然不會帶進戀愛感情在裡面,就只是單純的像看到美麗的風景停下來欣賞一般。8964 copyright protection82PENANA4hQO7hSfZH 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAnM0LX84Fz8
8964 copyright protection82PENANA1jrYlZWtnV 維尼
細長的睫毛,光滑的皮膚,苗條均勻的身材要說是上天用盡全力所打造的藝術品也不為過。8964 copyright protection82PENANAYncMBnjb4i 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAFn3HkbNHKf
8964 copyright protection82PENANAsTCLPY8Uys 維尼
讓人感到訝異可愛的地方就是她喜歡衣服上的涅噗醬這個興趣,剛剛查了一下涅噗醬好像是某部動畫的吉祥物之類的。8964 copyright protection82PENANA3iAMP2uuH9 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANA9rP1zFtTMq
8964 copyright protection82PENANAJIqTG1Femk 維尼
回到話題,如果學校是社會縮影的話,雲晴同學一定是處在頂端的人。8964 copyright protection82PENANADSxeUtSfUo 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAvKu8hoi0Kv
8964 copyright protection82PENANAKojWbH69jv 維尼
不管是在社交方面還是面容都是頂級的水準。8964 copyright protection82PENANAI6hRxaVHm0 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAumSFqYhH8B
8964 copyright protection82PENANAOa1NFn1kQh 維尼
而這樣的她竟然就坐在我的旁邊.....8964 copyright protection82PENANAnwqxYqWY6K 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAzGTAozbVmY
8964 copyright protection82PENANAzHQTSg7ChW 維尼
有著輕小說家...這個夢想並持續在努力著..就算受到了打擊也依然持續著的創作….8964 copyright protection82PENANApO8u5xTJsJ 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAraRVlSZACf
8964 copyright protection82PENANAXG0XgerGOk 維尼
對曾經逃跑的我來說....極為嘲諷…...這存在的本身就像是在嘲笑我一樣……但對我來說又像是動力…8964 copyright protection82PENANAWf3QdpJz8o 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAfMn5ow66nv
8964 copyright protection82PENANA8gaktWRMnx 維尼
從那一天起我沉寂已久的某種開關又再次開啟,只是缺乏一個操舵手讓它啟動………8964 copyright protection82PENANAs2iuOseFcc 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAM1K0gHN8DE
8964 copyright protection82PENANAyS80TlarZy 維尼
「月鴻同學怎麼了嗎?有那裡出問題嗎?」8964 copyright protection82PENANAz8YiaE7ctI 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAW4COBeAZbQ
8964 copyright protection82PENANAPw0HGn0wL5 維尼
雲晴同學貌似偷偷的注意到我的視線在她身上,以為是小說那裡有問題。8964 copyright protection82PENANA5Nl6VOXVNf 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANA2wzHpSTper
8964 copyright protection82PENANAx2bhGHcmwR 維尼
「不....只是覺得..雲晴同學果然很漂亮啊….」8964 copyright protection82PENANAy2nuTmgBfl 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANARfviEKHk67
8964 copyright protection82PENANATUhEe5UnQg 維尼
毫無意識..我將心裡想的話給講出來,那保持熱忱又不斷的在向夢想前進的樣子....真的讓我覺得非常的耀眼..8964 copyright protection82PENANA5zeKI8Wpfs 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAhrsihUgz1T
8964 copyright protection82PENANAXLg97Obfxr 維尼
「什......你你你你在突然說什麼阿!」8964 copyright protection82PENANAXh3EYpV8hJ 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAHHdJrsrkWQ
8964 copyright protection82PENANAbJTYe0bZNI 維尼
「不.....沒事抱歉..」8964 copyright protection82PENANAw7aDAOuH1n 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANA7IFBCWuWpW
8964 copyright protection82PENANA96R9MMiwUj 維尼
雲晴同學在聽了我的話後,臉就像是番茄紅了起來,想必被我這樣當面講她感到十分害羞吧..8964 copyright protection82PENANAkNoBeGc9Ct 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAX3U08jrgRv
8964 copyright protection82PENANATxd1GvRio2 維尼
要是平常的我一定也會焦急的跟她道歉......8964 copyright protection82PENANAt44DajpayG 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANACSVG2wCZRk
8964 copyright protection82PENANAYVs0mLDsFM 維尼
不過我只是搖了搖頭,簡單的跟害羞的她說聲抱歉而已。8964 copyright protection82PENANAZA9AuDccGN 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAFdcSN81YxY
8964 copyright protection82PENANAOlSVEuzahc 維尼
無法說出口…..8964 copyright protection82PENANAEraLUPwIrL 維尼
86Please respect copyright.PENANAcwQGMmTaUB
8964 copyright protection82PENANAZT8XUUmijf 維尼
現在我心裡都是滿滿的對於我自己羞愧...8964 copyright protection82PENANAlltUFwWjdq 維尼
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