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《愛你，呈陽性》短篇散文 - 一輩子抑鬱 | Penana
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《愛你，呈陽性》短篇散文
ISSUE #16
Author: 唐平
《愛你，呈陽性》短篇散文
Author: 唐平
ISSUE #16
一輩子抑鬱
No Plagiarism!XrRLjXnzmxWmbQe8MAhxposted on PＥNAＮＡ

《一輩子抑鬱》

我有一個好多人都知嘅小秘密，

就係我有抑鬱，而且都幾嚴重，

所以朋友成日都好擔心我傷害自己會出事。

567Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdUNk12ncd

但如果佢哋知道我嘅大秘密，佢哋可以一定放心：

我係實驗體018號﹐係史上唯一一個擁有不死身嘅人。

567Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUPNDKeuwH

你話，我可以有咩事？

567Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHnSHXQSt8

我試過用刀大力切開自己嘅手腕，

但係血都未流，傷口就已經埋咗口。

567Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jV0zc799m

我試過用成樽水啪咗一樽安眠藥，

結果係尿屙多咗幾篤，連眼瞓嘅感覺都冇。

567Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlN6xdx7KR

我試過買咗一個爐燒碳，

點知聞聞下覺得幾香，仲加多咗幾包當香薰。

567Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZIxTepRLJ

一直以嚟，我都好羨慕啲人可以自殺，

起碼佢哋仲有得選擇。

567Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRIboFGCL3

而我，只可以一直痛苦咁生活落去。

－

然後某日，喺討論區遇到一個有自殺傾向嘅人傾偈。

567Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaB11E4lpw

雖然佢覺得我痴咗線唔信我有不死身，

但佢都好認真咁分析講一大段說詬，去講其實有不死身仲好。

567Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5t4WNizhKq

「你話自殺嘅人有得選擇去死，呢樣嘢冇錯。」

567Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8TSxT6q4E

「但你明唔明，其實自殺一定係一個人嘅Last Choice。」

567Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91BTGIjhHV

「每個人嘅初衷都係喺世界上開心地生活落去，我哋嘅First Choice一定係開心咁生存。」

567Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCU0dPmf5J8

「但就係我哋生活得好唔開心冇得揀開心生活，所以先有人選擇死呢個Last Choice。」

567Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4X8sPyVb2

「而你冇咗死呢個Last Choice，你就得返開心生存呢個First Choice，又或者其他努力生存嘅Choice，雖然你未做到，但你會努力去做。」

567Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN17k5M7L77

「有目標有動力去令自己開心生存，點聽，都好似好過我呢個人，得返死呢個志向。」

567Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRHcxjlSfT

「你話有得揀死好幸福？我寧願好似你咁，有誘因去尋找快樂。」

－

一百年後嘅今日，抑鬱間中都會出嚟攻擊我。

567Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡle1RvbSbqW

但當主動尋找快樂，仍然都畀到我感受到人生意義。

567Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoikvqPg2y

而呢一百年嘅經歷話畀我知，

就算我唔係不死身，

我應該都會選擇去盡力Achieve我嘅First Choice，

567Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmV4ql2Lpt

尤其係我發現，

其實死，唔係我必然志向。

-

IG: @tong_ping_ 

216.73.216.217

ns216.73.216.217da2
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《愛你，呈陽性》短篇散文
Article
Short Story
Prose
Last updated: Aug 30, 2022
Total word count: 13,267
Total reading time: 44 Minutes
Writer:
唐平
愛情 日常 香港 散文 香港作家 廣東話 短小說
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