何澄佑緊緊握住蔡予軒的手,試圖給予溫暖,雙唇翕動卻什麼都說不出來,她太冷靜了,他寧願她放聲大哭,也不是這副樣子。107Please respect copyright.PENANAJcJYIdHTlk
107Please respect copyright.PENANAs2q53Da5yA
稍早,兩人作好準備要去蔡予軒家的聚會,他們穿著休閒的衣服,因為她說不需要太正式,也沒必要。他很緊張,畢竟只有從蔡予軒嘴裡聽到那些荒唐的故事,實際碰到會怎麼樣,不管是他還是她都無法預測。107Please respect copyright.PENANAdzSTwFpTBI
107Please respect copyright.PENANAdfzv1XhStL
他們到達奶奶家,安靜的坐在椅子上。何澄佑第一次從他人身上感受到強烈的惡意,這些親戚眼裡帶著鄙視、帶著看笑話的心態注視他身旁的人,而她對跑到眼前的小孩笑了笑,卻不主動碰他們。107Please respect copyright.PENANAt22Eg5OAhG
107Please respect copyright.PENANAuYazHPaVAx
那些孩子帶著純真的笑容,並不了解大人們之間的紛爭,對他們來說,蔡予軒就是個不常回來的姐姐,誰對他們好,他們就對誰好,僅此而已。107Please respect copyright.PENANADJCvx87lCS
107Please respect copyright.PENANApgy2LryPUq
「予軒,這幾年在做什麼?該不會還在替人端盤子打零工吧。」其中一位親戚率先提問。107Please respect copyright.PENANAKjy6dcy8iE
107Please respect copyright.PENANAujwZEGepJC
「之前是在當安親班老師,現在跟朋友開咖啡廳。」蔡予軒淡淡的回答。107Please respect copyright.PENANA9iQWXvcWrf
107Please respect copyright.PENANALmgIabZyoQ
「咖啡廳?哪來的錢,該不會去貸款吧,別最後像妳老爸一樣,還不了錢找到我們這裡。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAUX1HSgBxOq
107Please respect copyright.PENANAcmAuWWbBP4
「不需要貸款,是這幾年的積蓄。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAC4Sv1ohK3Z
107Please respect copyright.PENANAUcshgzHTuR
或許是她沒有起伏的語氣惹怒他們,他們把目標轉到何澄佑身上:「小夥子,是她男朋友啊?」107Please respect copyright.PENANABKmzqV0fXI
107Please respect copyright.PENANAqVET6uRXiO
「對。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAZpcHopdn1G
107Please respect copyright.PENANAwnB8ouM7RL
「勸你跟她談談戀愛就好,一個自殺未遂的人別想結婚。」說完,幾個人哄堂大笑。107Please respect copyright.PENANApQH4MX40EG
107Please respect copyright.PENANAyA5PETg0cg
何澄佑握緊拳頭,想起身反駁,但她握住他的手搖搖頭,只好忍下來,強迫自己維持臉上的溫和。她的母親冷眼旁觀,沒有為她懷胎十個月的女兒說句話,眼中只有再婚對象及今年剛升小一的女兒。107Please respect copyright.PENANAklIcNdT7ct
107Please respect copyright.PENANAgVAzs7fTMb
蔡予軒坐在飯桌,瞬間成為眾矢之的,句句帶刺的話語和譏笑,他們重複提起當年自殺未遂的事情,說她小題大作、抗壓性低,還讓學校老師以為家裡出什麼事,搞得像是他們虐待她,說她沒出息,說她耽誤自己母親的幸福。107Please respect copyright.PENANAcH5JuLIozh
107Please respect copyright.PENANA4KZGxuBzzS
她沒有回嘴,默默吃著午餐,表情淡然,似乎不把他們放在眼裡,因此,他們說得越來越誇張,何澄佑再怎樣都不能算當事人,光當個旁觀者,他的心便疼得受不了,難道她這些年一直是這麼過的?所以再痛也麻木了嗎?107Please respect copyright.PENANAbLEX0OkTSY
107Please respect copyright.PENANAXPUiatwxB8
冷嘲熱諷持續到他們要離開之際,這時,她的母親難得說要送他們下樓。107Please respect copyright.PENANApqWym42GsW
107Please respect copyright.PENANA3fwUkCPQah
他對她的母親有印象,小學六年級的家長會,她的母親年輕又漂亮,大家都說比較像姊姊,那時還會對蔡予軒溫柔的笑,是從什麼時候她選擇冷漠面對曾經最親的女兒。107Please respect copyright.PENANAvVy73yfNOa
107Please respect copyright.PENANAhyxKyTw5cP
「希望妳不要再來了。」在他們走出大門時,她的母親冷冷的說。107Please respect copyright.PENANA91FbLDuFeq
107Please respect copyright.PENANAwn2qwgyChE
回過頭,她靜靜盯著自己母親,對面的人又再說一次:「請妳不要再來了,每次妳來就會談到我前夫,我不喜歡讓我老公聽到這些丟臉的過去,所以不要再來了。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAslb2OLUR6A
107Please respect copyright.PENANAGlNt3YGnGg
良久,她的母親轉身要離開時,蔡予軒開口:「今天來只是想跟您說,我會跟阿佑結婚,我過得很好,如您們所願,以後不會再來,希望不要知道我結婚後,怪我沒有邀請您們,再見。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAF8XyfwYUci
107Please respect copyright.PENANAkbjGMalRuE
語畢,她牽著他離開這片傷心之地。107Please respect copyright.PENANAxansHr6qI8
107Please respect copyright.PENANAgGpCPSs6P7
他開著車到海邊,過程一直用餘光確認她的狀態,蔡予軒沒有哭,只是面無表情盯著窗外流逝的風景,那副漠然的樣子,他感覺心臟很疼很疼,連局外人都這麼疼了,那她呢?107Please respect copyright.PENANAuBGasuxlmV
107Please respect copyright.PENANAjSJWSRCLxx
時間回到現在,兩人坐在防坡堤,周圍剩下海浪與海風的聲音,維持同個姿勢許久,何澄佑覺得必須讓她鬱悶的心情有出口,繼續憋在心裡真的會出事。107Please respect copyright.PENANAwkOH1jHBGF
107Please respect copyright.PENANAaSIr8XGhnN
「予軒,我寧願妳哭、寧願妳大吼,也不要這樣安安靜靜的,我很怕。」他捏捏她的手,嘆息著。107Please respect copyright.PENANAPaSOiPLqGt
107Please respect copyright.PENANArrGrqEUczN
「……我以為這麼多年,聽了這麼久的話,應該不會痛才對,但是為什麼很痛啊。」聞言,蔡予軒眼眶略紅,雙唇微顫,逼迫自己不要哭,她還有很多話想說:「不管親戚怎麼說我,這些都沒關係,唯獨她,唯獨母親不該是這樣子,小時候她很寵我,聽到其他人說關於我的事,還會為我打抱不平,但一切都變了,她交了男朋友一切都變了。說我是多餘的、我是不應該存在的、我耽誤她的時間與青春,就不該把我生出來。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAl1r56P5mTr
107Please respect copyright.PENANA1puB7wYrTG
「她連看我都不想看,我真的不該出生嗎?真的不該存在嗎?既然這麼討厭,那麼為什麼當初執意要把我生出來呢?為什麼生下我又丟下我,為什麼……我是人,我會痛,很痛啊……」她緊緊抓著何澄佑胸膛的衣服,多年累積的情緒終於潰堤。107Please respect copyright.PENANAa0mbAB8YcC
107Please respect copyright.PENANAfQQLHallp5
這些年的自我懷疑沒有自欺欺人,也不是一場夢,全是真實的,曾有人指著她說,是多餘、是不該存在的,說這話的並不是別人,正是她的親生母親。到了今天,她才肯真正承認,母親真的不愛她、不再把她當作女兒,而是陌生人。107Please respect copyright.PENANAeyY5R1cpIL
107Please respect copyright.PENANAWKpPmhAbME
何澄佑微微紅了眼眶,他的摯愛聲嘶力竭向世界哭訴,殘酷的真相帶給她的只有毀滅性的結局,他唯一能做的,就是抱著她,捂熱那顆逐漸冰涼的心。107Please respect copyright.PENANAZL28TUfU4T
107Please respect copyright.PENANAOnJtDpyTBU
等哭泣聲變成啜泣聲,他抿抿唇,輕聲說:「予軒,沒有人是不被需要的,妳的出生絕對有意義。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAVrS0AldhzU
107Please respect copyright.PENANAklZs4KYDln
「什、什麼意義?」107Please respect copyright.PENANA1cmHjmOOqX
107Please respect copyright.PENANAj16YFSgUm2
「我在這啊,難道跟我見面沒意義嗎?」他拿出面紙擦擦她面頰上的淚水,還打算幫她擤鼻涕,她不好意思立即搶過來。107Please respect copyright.PENANAkHDWtEGwyb
107Please respect copyright.PENANAfmgMawOmfs
「我自己來。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAw6gRVpcGi8
107Please respect copyright.PENANANfQUaToGff
「別再這麼想了,有我啊。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAU9G6OxFAqq
107Please respect copyright.PENANAjfEGsT0vC2
「嗯……」107Please respect copyright.PENANAcAhYlpZTbd
107Please respect copyright.PENANAIKg4t1OH5h
他柔柔她的髮絲,安慰性的在她的唇上一吻,帶著鹹味的淚水劃過兩人緊貼的雙唇,蔡予軒緊緊抓住他的手臂,雙頰通紅的癱在他懷裡。107Please respect copyright.PENANAg0mq4izizc
107Please respect copyright.PENANAEhvmTsfQXH
「真可惜,現在天還是亮的。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAjsWvJgfTCg
107Please respect copyright.PENANAfyHlt5Zfu3
「你什麼意思?」她有危機感的睨了他一眼,但因為眼睛紅紅的,帶著水氣,完全沒有殺傷力。107Please respect copyright.PENANALMerPmV4gO
107Please respect copyright.PENANAfXC25GuDmS
「晚上去唱歌吧。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAnf0gXBmaTu
107Please respect copyright.PENANAXWQTKdAK86
「哈?」話題跳太快,她表示跟不上。107Please respect copyright.PENANARXOj8xF5J1
107Please respect copyright.PENANAFJdHhTXvlZ
「宜欣他們要去唱歌,我答應了。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAZeWMsn0k9O
107Please respect copyright.PENANAW313gfUcrL
蔡予軒莫名其妙從海邊被帶去KTV包廂,裡面只有陳耀一個人,何澄佑一點都不意外,因為手機收訊不好的關係,他跟陳耀打了招呼就先到店外等那群還剛下課的傢伙。107Please respect copyright.PENANA3qj9G7Gfza
107Please respect copyright.PENANA20OhZstsuQ
「予軒姐,要吃什麼,我幫妳拿。」陳耀邊說邊起身。107Please respect copyright.PENANAKSijwo0MAZ
107Please respect copyright.PENANARDvlGbt6ag
「等等,別留我一個人。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAYER6W0faog
107Please respect copyright.PENANAiPo9Joa9vK
陳耀愣了幾秒,點點頭,一前一後離開包廂,剛才裡面的燈光太暗沒看清楚,來到自助吧才看到蔡予軒雙眼是紅的,之前聽游雅晶說過一些,他選擇不拆穿這份脆弱,伸手拿過她的碗,詢問要吃什麼再幫她夾。107Please respect copyright.PENANAmDJwHgf4f8
107Please respect copyright.PENANAeBhq4jqJoH
兩人回到包廂,有一搭沒一搭的邊聊邊吃,畫面莫名和諧,陳耀走到點歌機面前,問:「他們還要一段時間,予軒姐要先唱一首嗎?趁現在只有我們兩個人的時候。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAXNKNaXEiQh
107Please respect copyright.PENANA0EV1jy1XYm
「我不太會唱……」107Please respect copyright.PENANAIB1V9oBjCi
107Please respect copyright.PENANA1X23axrxlS
「唱吧,予軒姐。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAlwWvaVQ7K9
107Please respect copyright.PENANAPF70cCfp9P
被陳耀那雙毫無波瀾的眼睛盯著,蔡予軒下意識點點頭,他讓出位置,等鋼琴聲緩緩流出,他將麥克風遞給她,低下頭繼續吃東西。107Please respect copyright.PENANASehRQsk3Oo
107Please respect copyright.PENANAR5GdAXEvmK
陳耀喜歡音樂,比起唱歌,跳舞更加能感受到情緒,他不曾聽別人唱歌聽到被擾亂心神,但現在可能有幸經歷人生中的第一次,蔡予軒並沒有用什麼技巧,她的聲音聽起來在哭訴,那種悲痛完整傳達出來,他不由自主抬起頭。107Please respect copyright.PENANAYdMrHYUwq9
107Please respect copyright.PENANAVef3jjFok4
藉由螢幕的亮光清楚看見她眼角的淚光,他選擇沉默,這是身為朋友兼弟弟唯一能替她做的。107Please respect copyright.PENANAYvaJza2m4L
107Please respect copyright.PENANA7VTmRjbVXy
一曲終了,陳耀秉持禮尚往來的精神,也唱了一首,結束後,兩人再次邊吃邊聊,當何澄佑帶著其他人到包廂,看到的就是這樣的畫面,眾人無言以對。107Please respect copyright.PENANA5UIRPbUq7a
107Please respect copyright.PENANAQ6QKhVaq7R
「予軒小姐、阿耀,這裡是唱歌的地方,你們居然連一首歌都不放是怎麼回事?」張尚仁走到點唱機前,面對空蕩蕩的歌單忍不住吐槽。107Please respect copyright.PENANA7EqOuPrEJg
107Please respect copyright.PENANApfkZSGViwH
「有廣告音樂。」蔡予軒理直氣壯的回答。107Please respect copyright.PENANALCbaZx8TjC
107Please respect copyright.PENANAckZDnPVhqY
「也有歌手MV。」陳耀平靜的表示。107Please respect copyright.PENANANqIu0YVx2i
107Please respect copyright.PENANAbAfAOF4GsH
「認識予軒的時候,我一直在想有股熟悉感。」林宜欣若有所思的打量,指著他們說:「你們是失散多年的姐弟吧,冷靜的時候簡直一模一樣啊。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAlQw7QL3ixp
107Please respect copyright.PENANAZho8xDifiz
聞言,所有人望向兩人,點點頭贊成,連何澄佑擺出思考的姿勢:「妳這麼一說,還真的是。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAfbpct6cG5w
107Please respect copyright.PENANAhigCPT808r
「好啦,以後你們就是姐弟啦。現在唱歌了、唱歌了,不要跟我搶麥克風。」劉曉曉擺擺手,順便把張尚仁從點唱機前擠開。107Please respect copyright.PENANAsYwl6EsPIy
107Please respect copyright.PENANA07RJuDKfgR
「曉曉姐,點High歌。」107Please respect copyright.PENANASXrjPRI62R
107Please respect copyright.PENANA5FNg6qMeH6
「點林俊傑的!」107Please respect copyright.PENANAjOyQIZ3wck
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「張尚仁你滾,我要蔡依林。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAeNLPkgNWw9
107Please respect copyright.PENANAm9DMqk0M5M
「五月天來一首。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAeYS51EHFMw
107Please respect copyright.PENANAlgOHFA7AX1
包廂變得鬧哄哄的,何澄佑坐在蔡予軒身邊,她疑惑的問道:「你不唱嗎?」107Please respect copyright.PENANAOnyBnoXBWd
107Please respect copyright.PENANAeSxHXfiZkR
「等等吧,妳覺得現在我擠得進去嗎?」107Please respect copyright.PENANAlR6tr1zskW
107Please respect copyright.PENANAEClYJcwWRG
「呃,也是。」那畫面簡直像喪屍片裡會出現的,不忍直視。107Please respect copyright.PENANADGutEemgA0
107Please respect copyright.PENANArYmW997QDe
「唱過了?」107Please respect copyright.PENANAqScN97fGvO
107Please respect copyright.PENANASi9Mue2BqM
「咦?你……」107Please respect copyright.PENANAOI2lHFW5ol
107Please respect copyright.PENANAsB849Y3ATk
「我怕聽完妳最想唱的歌,會冷著臉一晚上。」言下之意就是,他才留陳耀下來陪她,揉揉她的頭:「心情好點了?」107Please respect copyright.PENANANfTXIbw7Sp
107Please respect copyright.PENANAU5ljeR5Io7
「謝謝你,阿佑。」107Please respect copyright.PENANABcbHsQOqoP
107Please respect copyright.PENANA9gLrUvbFYn
「甘之如飴,只要是為了妳。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAhR0yBEbZxz
107Please respect copyright.PENANAmpXd0Kjk0l
「你別突然這麼肉麻啦。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAi8ROxAX4bY
107Please respect copyright.PENANACfmdVBSIzw
「阿佑,別再調戲予軒小姐了,快過來點歌。」張尚仁一臉嫌棄的叫他過去。107Please respect copyright.PENANA1f1CIrWBGZ
107Please respect copyright.PENANATBHO80YiiA
她屈起腿,靠著膝蓋盯著正在唱歌的何澄佑,這天可能是人生中最破碎的一天,但她慶幸有他、有這些朋友,他們不過問,用這種方式陪伴,她揚起嘴角,露出今天第一個笑容。107Please respect copyright.PENANAtTUGyw8dkx
107Please respect copyright.PENANAgmwP0u7kfP
何澄佑轉過身,撞見蔡予軒微笑的表情,他微愣幾秒,勾起嘴角透過麥克風說出一直想說的話。107Please respect copyright.PENANAEacNrSebJG
107Please respect copyright.PENANAlYEUyFs0sl
「予軒,我愛妳。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAFLDlFu1f3k
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《謝謝你仍在原地等我》(舊名:白日夢)
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《謝謝你仍在原地等我》(舊名:白日夢)
Author:
黑犬先生
ISSUE #34
最終章、白日夢(01)
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