The Small Things

I guess I should write out all the weird things I've heard in the past month or so.

*cursing*

909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcF2jbvyr0N

"Yeah, Santa made out with my dad."

---

"My dog ate my hamster."909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6qdAWtGtZ

"Oh yeah? Well I sat on my hamster and broke its neck!"909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeB1wkafiXi

---

"My grandma was in the hospital to get knee surgery, then she went into cardiac arrest and died."909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFPuGU5DXp

---

“If you were a toddler and Santa came running at you full speed, what would you do?”

---

“How’d you get 16 as your answer?? I got 3091...”

---

“I’M SQUIDWARD.”

“Then I must be Patrick.”

“COME NOW, PATRICK! LET US FIND SPONGEBOB!”

---

“She fell off the Earth and broke her nose.”

---

“I LOST MY MOM IN THE CAR WASH.”

---

“You look like if Elmo and Ryan Reynolds had a baby.”

---

“Where’s the butter?”

“At your mom’s house!”

“I don’t have a mom—”

“OH SH*T SORRY I FORGOT—”

---

"HEY I’M CHINESE TOO!!"

"Dude, you’re f*cking Irish and German."

"Yeah, but I’m also 2% French!"

"WHAT?!? SO THEN I’M 50% CHINESE TOO!"909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeggeRppIJm

---

“What’s your favorite show?”

“PEPPA PIG!!” *snorts*

---

“Someone tried to steal my balls.”

---

“HOLY SH*T MY MOUTH IS DROWNING!!”

---

“I MISSED MY BRIDAL SHOWER!!”

---

“WHO SH*T IN THE CLOSET?”

---

“Oh hey! It’s John Dick!”

---

“How much would you sell your brother for?”

“ANYTHING.”

---

“WOOF! Did I scare ya?”

“Who the f*ck are you?”

“CRAP WRONG PERSON.”

---

“I know someone who can eat Jell-O through their nose.”

---

“When people ask how tall I am, I punch ‘em in the face.”

---

“BOYS! STOP THROWING PENCILS AT MY CHICKEN!”

---

“SHUT UP! THE TOILET IS TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING!”909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7h6KgALsqQ

ns216.73.216.38da2

Reading Theme:

Font Size:

Line Spacing:

Paragraph Spacing:

Load the next issue automatically