The Finale
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In October 2019, there were a lot of protests in Hong Kong. Although Tung and I were not as close as before, we still kept little contact. She no longer avoided me intentionally, at least not to the point of breaking off. Yet, once again, she managed to change my opinion on her...
"Have you seen the news? The damn police were abusing violence, they allowed thugs beat protestors on 21th July*. They even shot someone on the 1st October, and recently they have even imposed the Anti-mask Law. It’s pissing me off!" I texted her.
(* Hong Kong 721 incident: A bunch of criminal gang members in white shirts showed up in Yuen Long MTR Rail Station to beat protestors against the extradition bill along with regular citizens with iron rods, whips, sticks, etc. It was until roughly 45 minutes later the police arrived. Till 2022, 37 people were arrested for this incident, 7 charged and 5 found guilty.)
"I don't watch the news, I don't even care about these things." She simply replied.
"So, did you know that so many things happened? Our comrades have shed so much blood and tears, don't you feel it?” I texted.
"I don't even care about such things." That was how she answered me.
By then, I didn't like her as much as I used to, especially regarding her personality.
It was not until the beginning of May this year (2020) that she finally began to show her true nature.
"You're really fxxking annoying! I don't like you! Do you know how long I have put up with your shit? I've always disliked you!" She suddenly scolded me out of nowhere.
My heart was racing, and I couldn't stop thinking about what the hell was going on.
"Calm down, is there some kind of mistake?" I asked.
"Why can I find my friend ‘liking’ your post? I was ‘following’ her a note, she’s my friend!" she said furiously.
"Have you ever respected my feelings?" she scolded me.
Then, she kept swearing and blacklisted me after. I still had no idea what happened.
I asked her brother what happened, but he couldn’t tell me anything specific since he was as clueless as I was. He told me to apologize, but I had to ask him to pass the word since I was blacklisted.
"I'm sorry, it doesn't matter if you forgive me or not, I just want to ask, why wait till now to tell me that?"
Her brother then asked me," What are you asking about?"
"Nothing." That was my answer.
I then chatted all day with her brother. We had broken off once, but we made up back then.
He said I sounded more resigned than usual when we chatted.
I indeed was resentful, I was feeling guilty of nothing.
What on Earth should I feel guilty about? Guilty that I tried to understand her better by being her online friend? Guilty that I ever liked her?
I might have done many, many things that rubbed her the wrong way. I, still to this day, have no idea whether she accepted my apology or not. One thing for certain is that Tung and I still have not made up. We have truly severed our relationship.
That night, I was very confused and had mixed feelings, but I had given up chasing after her long ago and had stopped liking her.
I kept comforting myself (don't get me wrong), telling myself," Ah, I'm finally free, I'm finally liberated."
The next day I chatted with some other online friends, which swiftly brightened my mood. I had to let her go, if not, I would be the only one hurt. That day ... I let go of her completely, truly... letting her go.
Farewell, Tung.
And, goodbye... those happy memories, and... the" me” of those years.
I'm not the same person anymore. I, Chan Ho Nan... Have evolved (or not).
This is the end of my story, thank you for reading!!
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