之前說到寫小說到底需不需要文筆。那今天來講一下文筆練習的誤區好了。156Please respect copyright.PENANAscB08sMhLB
156Please respect copyright.PENANAI5QoRZZ9lY
包括我自己以前也都以為所謂的「文筆」就是把一個句子堆疊越多越罕見,奇怪的詞彙,越多比喻摹寫,就是文筆好。其實這是一個很危險的誤區。156Please respect copyright.PENANAdcokF3whTn
156Please respect copyright.PENANA8oE5tKqBec
所有東西都有一個平衡性在,並不是把一個句子堆疊了一堆形容詞就會達到效果。有一個說法是說有些作者喜歡堆砌詞藻。156Please respect copyright.PENANA7Q39taxLS1
156Please respect copyright.PENANA2VxngeSBFZ
堆砌詞藻這種說法算是比較客氣的。因為堆砌詞藻的意思是說過度的修飾句子。大概近似於,如果你要寫一個人的穿著。156Please respect copyright.PENANAGSS6wL6nQf
156Please respect copyright.PENANANCNZIz3LeY
平直寫法:他穿著白色襯衫搭配牛仔褲,看起來十分休閒。156Please respect copyright.PENANAgAbEa3F13u
156Please respect copyright.PENANABNa6hbK6Gf
堆砌詞藻:他穿著一件uniqlo的襯衫,上面有著紅橘相間交織成格子狀的花紋,袖子的長度不短不長,正好能蓋住他的手腕,下面搭配一件LEVI'S的牛仔褲,大腿的地方有著一塊故意刷破的裝飾,並且帶著一種淺藍色的漸層,使得他的腿看來又瘦又長⋯⋯(差不多了後面省略)156Please respect copyright.PENANAAX86WeAKRG
156Please respect copyright.PENANAlvywATmjly
如果這個角色的穿著不是跟後面的劇情有什麼關係,寫到這種程度就真的太超過了。156Please respect copyright.PENANAEUISGT5DX1
156Please respect copyright.PENANAnXEuoUTET7
不過這兩種寫法其實沒有什麼決定性的好壞。下面明顯就是過度推砌詞藻的寫法,雖然不是很推薦,但是也不到很糟糕的程度,我不建議別人這樣寫,但是如果真的要這樣寫我也不覺得是不對,因為這種文章會看的讀者大概都會學會跳過這種太細的敘述,所以其實只要文句通順,就算稍微有點堆切詞藻,也不會太影響閱讀。(當然前提是不要太過分,整本都這樣一直堆。)156Please respect copyright.PENANAPaiOMKzc4M
156Please respect copyright.PENANAeaIoFDjTOQ
但是有一種比較常會出現在練習中的,錯誤的堆砌詞藻寫法,這種我就覺得最好要避免,因為會干擾閱讀。156Please respect copyright.PENANA3GCC3AgnpU
156Please respect copyright.PENANAmAWSTHtTDB
上面那個例句詞彙的堆砌法雖然很細很囉唆,但是還能看出來每一個句子都是有表達出意思的,但是有些時候,作者會無意識地在一個句子裏面出現重複的詞藻堆砌。156Please respect copyright.PENANAvmi15PDjtu
156Please respect copyright.PENANAsiRqaqH8ad
這種的堆砌法我覺得就不能視為堆砌詞藻,比較算是一種贅字或者贅句。156Please respect copyright.PENANAh0Jyd80qP7
156Please respect copyright.PENANAs3S3YPiRLZ
比如說這樣寫一個很危險將要掉下來的招牌:156Please respect copyright.PENANAXHBNt2dqaR
156Please respect copyright.PENANAMp7mUs2cDX
霓虹招牌懸掛在那裏,搖搖欲墜,危險的隨著風搖擺,似乎下一秒就會掉下來。156Please respect copyright.PENANA12adPQYWuY
156Please respect copyright.PENANAgYXutt9drS
這個例句裏面就充滿了贅字。不斷重複在說招牌很危險。如果要寫其實只要挑一個形容詞告訴讀者,它很危險就可以了。156Please respect copyright.PENANAVF2pCH5cPS
156Please respect copyright.PENANAHiTuKXQ0cS
可以說:156Please respect copyright.PENANAKpYniUptZY
156Please respect copyright.PENANAgHRCdqM280
懸吊的招牌搖搖欲墜。156Please respect copyright.PENANABMfQovSvO4
156Please respect copyright.PENANAW5ywnbupQ3
懸吊的招牌隨風搖擺,似乎下一秒就會落下,等等。156Please respect copyright.PENANACmclt6TYvI
156Please respect copyright.PENANAgvULuQf2LL
就是不要用重複的句子去說招牌很危險,而且也不用在句子裡面提到危險,因為讀者看到敘述就會知道危險。156Please respect copyright.PENANATLh8TKfLFT
156Please respect copyright.PENANAE3Yo0JkNy0
以上,大概是這樣。所謂的文筆洗鍊,我覺得大約就是這樣,書裡面的贅句與病句比較少,就會顯得比較洗鍊。156Please respect copyright.PENANAUMXdCuXddp
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廢稿與歲月正相關(寫作心得)
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廢稿與歲月正相關(寫作心得)
Author:
浮火
Published:
May 28, 2022
ISSUE #5
文筆練習,你練對了嗎?
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