之前說到寫小說到底需不需要文筆。那今天來講一下文筆練習的誤區好了。155Please respect copyright.PENANAY4NNIrlts5
155Please respect copyright.PENANAqxWD5oGqBI
包括我自己以前也都以為所謂的「文筆」就是把一個句子堆疊越多越罕見,奇怪的詞彙,越多比喻摹寫,就是文筆好。其實這是一個很危險的誤區。155Please respect copyright.PENANAlv5VXyS46K
155Please respect copyright.PENANASdXuUcVa9Z
所有東西都有一個平衡性在,並不是把一個句子堆疊了一堆形容詞就會達到效果。有一個說法是說有些作者喜歡堆砌詞藻。155Please respect copyright.PENANAcRXDLbtxhM
155Please respect copyright.PENANAxwVWEaiESL
堆砌詞藻這種說法算是比較客氣的。因為堆砌詞藻的意思是說過度的修飾句子。大概近似於,如果你要寫一個人的穿著。155Please respect copyright.PENANAp7GmOgTmJp
155Please respect copyright.PENANAIRJuyicU5n
平直寫法:他穿著白色襯衫搭配牛仔褲,看起來十分休閒。155Please respect copyright.PENANAyszCAhwvp4
155Please respect copyright.PENANAe7rMZQuHJc
堆砌詞藻:他穿著一件uniqlo的襯衫,上面有著紅橘相間交織成格子狀的花紋,袖子的長度不短不長,正好能蓋住他的手腕,下面搭配一件LEVI'S的牛仔褲,大腿的地方有著一塊故意刷破的裝飾,並且帶著一種淺藍色的漸層,使得他的腿看來又瘦又長⋯⋯(差不多了後面省略)155Please respect copyright.PENANAmNWZxbtkwD
155Please respect copyright.PENANAOCfntHZ51L
如果這個角色的穿著不是跟後面的劇情有什麼關係,寫到這種程度就真的太超過了。155Please respect copyright.PENANAGHpGSuj8xC
155Please respect copyright.PENANAKd4N98a0KT
不過這兩種寫法其實沒有什麼決定性的好壞。下面明顯就是過度推砌詞藻的寫法,雖然不是很推薦,但是也不到很糟糕的程度,我不建議別人這樣寫,但是如果真的要這樣寫我也不覺得是不對,因為這種文章會看的讀者大概都會學會跳過這種太細的敘述,所以其實只要文句通順,就算稍微有點堆切詞藻,也不會太影響閱讀。(當然前提是不要太過分,整本都這樣一直堆。)155Please respect copyright.PENANAUeZlwVeTjr
155Please respect copyright.PENANAqsA3PUhwKb
但是有一種比較常會出現在練習中的,錯誤的堆砌詞藻寫法,這種我就覺得最好要避免,因為會干擾閱讀。155Please respect copyright.PENANAmgIeBtxrYE
155Please respect copyright.PENANAjfIT1BK8ZC
上面那個例句詞彙的堆砌法雖然很細很囉唆,但是還能看出來每一個句子都是有表達出意思的,但是有些時候,作者會無意識地在一個句子裏面出現重複的詞藻堆砌。155Please respect copyright.PENANAbkC2NBk82x
155Please respect copyright.PENANAZKxMCISWpU
這種的堆砌法我覺得就不能視為堆砌詞藻,比較算是一種贅字或者贅句。155Please respect copyright.PENANAquC9AIMLif
155Please respect copyright.PENANAaZoUWFN6Rd
比如說這樣寫一個很危險將要掉下來的招牌:155Please respect copyright.PENANAca8mBxFguo
155Please respect copyright.PENANAaT5os4islm
霓虹招牌懸掛在那裏,搖搖欲墜,危險的隨著風搖擺,似乎下一秒就會掉下來。155Please respect copyright.PENANAfnZrJlbyQt
155Please respect copyright.PENANANWMmOxC2mc
這個例句裏面就充滿了贅字。不斷重複在說招牌很危險。如果要寫其實只要挑一個形容詞告訴讀者,它很危險就可以了。155Please respect copyright.PENANA5Ql957enx9
155Please respect copyright.PENANASvNBBW4EQV
可以說:155Please respect copyright.PENANAPen5RQ96Xv
155Please respect copyright.PENANAbCbkzzON9u
懸吊的招牌搖搖欲墜。155Please respect copyright.PENANAPAjGaWEqy4
155Please respect copyright.PENANADZvQmNldLQ
懸吊的招牌隨風搖擺,似乎下一秒就會落下,等等。155Please respect copyright.PENANAf1Ief7ybbQ
155Please respect copyright.PENANAELmDrToXR9
就是不要用重複的句子去說招牌很危險,而且也不用在句子裡面提到危險,因為讀者看到敘述就會知道危險。155Please respect copyright.PENANAhqzZmck05s
155Please respect copyright.PENANAMbmbmzwsl8
以上,大概是這樣。所謂的文筆洗鍊,我覺得大約就是這樣,書裡面的贅句與病句比較少,就會顯得比較洗鍊。155Please respect copyright.PENANApjoutU4U14
arrow_back
廢稿與歲月正相關(寫作心得)
more_vert
-
info_outline Info
-
toc Table of Contents
-
share Share
-
format_color_text Display Settings
-
exposure_plus_1 Recommend
-
Sponsor
-
report_problem Report
-
account_circle Login
Search stories, writers or societies
Continue ReadingClear All
What Others Are ReadingRefresh
X
Never miss what's happening on Penana!
廢稿與歲月正相關(寫作心得)
Author:
浮火
Published:
May 28, 2022
ISSUE #5
文筆練習,你練對了嗎?
LIKES 9
READS 151
BOOKMARKS 18
campaign
Request update 0
Sponsor
Suggest Edits
Login with Facebook
or Sign up/Login to comment or bookmark!
Click to load the next chapter
X
After each update request, the author will receive a notification!
smartphone100 → Request update
X
Sponsor again
Click to login
Login first to show your name as a sponsor.
Thank you for supporting the story! :)
Please Login first.
×
Write down what you like about the story
×
Reading Theme:
Font Size:
Line Spacing:
Paragraph Spacing:
Load the next issue automatically
Reset to default
×
People Who Like This