又是一陣沉默，然後妍妍轉頭看著我問道：「呀遊。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfsNQqukj9
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxi1gjk8rj
「…係？」我回答。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5vxbrlxQC
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJVxMGCBx7
「你覺得PTGF係做Ｄ咩？」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqCANBuBO5
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXq87o6l0E6
PDGF，是Part Time Girl Friend簡寫，老實說不是甚麼新興東西，以往的名字有很多，援交，出租女友，兼職女友，爸爸活，Sugar Daddy之類…當然，仔細劃分用字定義還是能分出差異的，但…1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX42lHluCyp
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhf1iZ6ImUT
「因金錢利益與男性發生關係」，這點應該不會錯。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXlcENe16m
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBf42DphTZ
妍妍看著海說：「嗯，可以咁講…雖然有Ｄ女仔堅持唔上床，只係行街睇戲食飯拖手之類，但係…」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHcVAnkB85
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXhUTAf5nP
我等著她最後那句。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTAVtWVMlf
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2HKNv2pKU
「…我唔係個種。」妍妍說。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuCrXtmVRW
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHW7z53Yuq8
「嗯，我聽緊。」我說。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5lu79ppX3
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmLOaA1h3j
她看看我，似乎發現我表情眼神沒甚麼變化後似乎放鬆了一點：「我仲以為你會介意添。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bLP0WldJy
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKSqBXsXg2
我失笑：「我又唔係你邊個，有咩好介意？」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4WoT04eqe
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaljDFr9Y2
「即係如果我同你親密Ｄ既你就會介意？」她反問。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17oVh1BmM9
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWHqNmBma0
「我唔回答假設性問題。」我擺出官腔，因為我真的不知道。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMetQb4teD
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYtKbsys4o
妍妍喝一口啤酒：「不過都唔係每個男仔我都會同佢做…普通都係遊下車河，去船P，食飯個Ｄ，如果真係岩Feel同信得過既先會做。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQnwmQBh9Q
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVoh9bT4Zw
「咁…」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqiO1RZaZl
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKkDySKmCL
感覺我說甚麼也會錯。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzL9tDh86aA
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmBGYqVhXH
「之前我咪問你關於Deep-World，黑PR既事…我都係係客身上聽返黎，有錢人就有呢Ｄ門路，總之，我係想搵黑PR黎對付我唯一既個個EX 。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBEUvSyDnM
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTF3qpY7Zf
妍妍說過她是A1，即是現在單身，但曾拍過一次拖。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsAbwHrVR4
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjrlvJP6zV
「嗯，你講過。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SMPQQdYbQ
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVZCBzhGnk
「但我估唔到你會記住。」她說，「估唔到你會記到童桐以外既事啊？」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMW89mGGMdN
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQtbxqn8R0
「咪笑我啦。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGFyL0ehDx
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1i8AttIv7
她笑了。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NYWS4623L
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXr5ZFSKsSm
「尋日係好日，佢就係尋日結婚…」妍妍看著漆黑的海說，「終於都完，感覺就好似發左場夢咁。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lczQDmDMJ
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5RgHjSCBO
「係好夢定惡夢？」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHr57lMoeW1
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fNOTKqtRF
「…同現實比，係好夢。」她說，「同個時我地打算過既將來比，係惡夢。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGxODbdfnT
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElGhadkUPH
我仔細咀嚼這一句當中的含意。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qTWNDGqYn
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OiqsG03Ww
「曾經我同你一樣啊，呀遊。」她說，「曾經我都將一個人視為全宇宙，視為我既一切，我既世界就係圍住佢轉。過去，現在，未來，都因佢而起，因佢而存在，亦因佢而有寄望。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFnc31ajqV
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHQcYqymCD
雖然我猜到了個大概，但我決定沉默。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82SDr4753U
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXExiRfwGCk
有時候甚麼也不回應，只是陪伴，就是最好的回應。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYq2sFzHfA
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY03C5sLC8d
「我係你身上，就好似睇到曾經既自己咁。」妍妍說。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHLexTCKaY
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFRT9tATWT
然後，她把頭靠到我的肩膊上。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78meIveKiE
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1OWdgf7sW
「仲相信愛情，只為左一個人而活，全心，全靈，為左自己鐘意既人博盡全力去爭取，連對手係植嵐晨咁既級數既人都繼續前進。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87t8brMHCv
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJXt7g9Alk
她一頭棕髮沿我胸膛傾瀉而下，撲鼻而來的是她頭髮的香氣夾雜海水咸味。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5TdeoQGhq
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UrhWUD5dt
妍妍深呼吸，然後嘆了一口氣：「唉，但…依加已經完晒，其實早就應該完，當年就應該完，係我一直放佢唔低，直到佢尋日婚都結埋…我先知道一直走唔出去既人係我，亦…只有我一個。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOthPut7C9
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLT2ELW8vm
在之前我也想像過童桐結婚而新郎不是我的畫面。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4DNrGleNK
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nXttI4Wn5
在之後，我連想像的勇氣也沒有。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡua4hWICqNS
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfi5M1M797
那是信仰的崩潰，世界的崩潰。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2QHqhOHHu
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLhYn5DGdj
萬物的崩潰。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMUD2lKdzc
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfti1DhDer4
「所以你分手之後做PTGF…係因為…」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiKS5JRjGs
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqReJorPyb
「我以為佢會在意。」妍妍自嘲地冷笑，「至少以為佢會嬲，佢會話我污糟之類，但係…佢根本完全唔在意，我試過自己上網唱佢，佢都係理都唔理，本身至少想佢憎我，如果可以，我想佢至少憎我一世。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrK9n8VjB2t
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCVd3Bypir
妍妍說著說著，眼淚便靜靜的淌下。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8o3SUkzpX
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Z194WxUcx
「點解…點解連憎我一世都唔可以？」妍妍哽咽地說，哭著的她全身在發抖。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC30qruTrca
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1uQLRJn2V
愛的反面不是憎恨。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eg1LlCR1G
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHAhFPrMSG
愛的反面是徹底的無視和冷漠。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfV7dteV3i
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PeDZ4rqMF
不知道是不是她已經習慣了這表情，竟然連抹也不打算抹，恍如連自己也要放棄自己一樣。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEq1YDmEEUB
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2areXgcFnL
這光景，我看過。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJy3lI0YntC
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡis26WX2x8d
我在曾經的自己身上看過。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKuAhjpPhK
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZsgAxcwBD
「你唔應該咁對自己。」我掏出紙巾輕印她的眼淚，「始終要放下。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg96R2XQrtN
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdxBo3beIl
「我知，但我做唔到。」把頭枕在我肩上的妍妍說，「等於我叫你放下童桐一樣。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUZUMitlYd
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBvqAZS4JJ
「無可能。」我搖頭。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8hiUeH7QR
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CjAD0WBvh
「嗯，無可能。」她點頭。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cPip2UBrF
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡha6vdyhdUc
她繼續說：「一開始我只係咁自暴自棄，後來…我就覺得無所謂，點都無所謂，同唔同既男仔去玩，去蒲，做咩都好…我已經無所謂，過得一日就一日，反正又有錢收。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq93FR4osQ2
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8Q8nZJ4iP
她打了個哆嗦，然後說：「既然唔知做咩好，咁樣就做咩都得。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMUvVO73T3
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfzEHefBpz
失去人生目標的滋味，我倒還記憶猶新，大約幾小時前吧。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZR4ZX3fLHw
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7pJvi259j
而且再往前回溯，在中學畢業後的暑假我也是這樣，唯一等待的就是自己慢慢在角落腐爛，做任何事也只是因本能而行動，也不記得今天是星期幾，幾月幾日，因為沒有需要。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8B0uoBPqbA
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeN3sjT6LA4
甚麼也再沒需要了。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cFtlik4lN
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvhDgMShyK
妍妍在我身上看到曾經的自己。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ738lz25zcp
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYtFBRjLez
我也在妍妍身上看到曾經的自己。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbNUXEvNUE
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0RUAhC2Ek
我把自己那時的頹然喪志和妍妍說了個大概，她同樣地靜靜的聽著，而且聽著聽著她把自己雙腳抱住，似乎好像聽到甚麼不願意回想起的事一樣。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsnnByIv5z
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdivMHORSoq
話畢。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9guCv3Mbga
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIsyKHY8rl
妍妍閉上眼思考了一會兒，然後開口說：「睇黎我黎搵你呻係正確既選擇。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4FDgXSMPS
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0gbI4Y9gY
「你想既，幾時都可以。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHR3Twyzl1
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHVycD5ow6
她沉默了片刻。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzphBxoGNAF
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBmZEVzt31
「咁你個時點走出去？」她問我。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrS0OQevAK6
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKojDYQN02
「一黎童桐唔俾我繼續摺落去喇。」我說，「二黎就係射返箭，射箭個時個人會好專心，射中靶會好有成功感，漸漸就走左出黎。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHlaMhRZ8e
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUcnYS0wNW
「無興趣。」她微笑說。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbixKM48Guu
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncHMivfh7s
「…咁點解個時你唔搵我？至少我可以好似童桐拖我出房咁樣幫你，我地細個都一齊玩過，我唔會唔理你。」我說。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kzsFyKIdo
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJdpYtOji5
「個時我都未搵返你。我地細個個時又無Facebook IG呢Ｄ。」妍妍說，「係去到情聖係TG Group臨時要女仔同你去街，我先知個個係你。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQl5peCF5P
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDG0POu6IF2
「係咪…好失望？」我苦笑，「搞到要搵PTGF………雖，雖然係用黎激童桐啦，我本身都無諗住要搵PTGF，一日都係情聖自把自為，未未未未等到30歲轉生做魔法師囉…」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PjR80wTvu
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93Ixz20LgS
我說到了後半句才發現自己的發言何等窩囊，馬上手忙腳亂地想修正，但是似乎愈描愈黑。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcP3e75yox4
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWLT8YhooB
「好啦，唔使解釋。」妍妍被我的慌張樣子逗笑，「你真係除左射箭咩都唔識架喎。」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgLhL2JqtZ
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwUbkAVkE1
「連你都咁講，嗚…」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPB5rRStcn8
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9COe4MA2P
「咁樣先係你既賣點。」妍妍輕撫我被海風吹亂的頭髮說。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1IQvFI3Y5
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgW6JlJHl8M
同樣是看到我使出全力追求童桐，情聖在我身上看到自己沒有之物並覺得耀眼，而妍妍在我身上看到曾經的自己並覺得懷念。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNM5L3frvy
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpSCsAGnU2
我完全不覺我自己會為任何人帶來啟發，但似乎他們不這樣認為。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqPJdRxxHN
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv46heJBmex
「咁你以後有咩打算？既然個個人已經連婚都結埋。」我說。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlGetguoJh
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhxWDMUPew
「……我唔知。」妍妍看著海的雙眼變得空洞，不過她還把頭靠在我肩上，我很有信心她沒有任何投海的念頭。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkxMNPs0vO
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrt0P0vGLC
然後她開口問：「你呢，如果最後童桐都係唔同你一齊，你又有咩打算？」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2LNvVG3hV
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oV9EoeM9W
「……我唔知。」我給出和妍妍一模一樣的答案。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3vID6gZdH
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAHmcf9bWt
看來我真的沒有鼓勵人的天分，但畢竟我也自身難保嘛。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxFvFdKZTL
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzU4aDUNeE4
「……」1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiq8dErxFq
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CYFUab2jl
兩個不知還可以怎樣辦的人，就這樣互相倚靠在一起，坐在海邊喝著廉價的啤酒，吹著因暑氣而帶點異味的海風。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4mxdFtXgR
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEr06CCKevL
不是甚麼事也能憑決心，憑努力去改寫的。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zDbZAjo4k
1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr85G7qGXor
夏天，也到尾聲了。1060Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nGTMUA4vO
8964 copyright protection1056ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUaLrxJ4VE 維尼

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