又是一陣沉默，然後妍妍轉頭看著我問道：「呀遊。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lbvCUqUMa
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJMspzsQ2b
「…係？」我回答。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmOeID2LOw
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnff2N6MvNe
「你覺得PTGF係做Ｄ咩？」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqx2xjRVMZ
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhy1gFZi0A
PDGF，是Part Time Girl Friend簡寫，老實說不是甚麼新興東西，以往的名字有很多，援交，出租女友，兼職女友，爸爸活，Sugar Daddy之類…當然，仔細劃分用字定義還是能分出差異的，但…988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOCzthueAW
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbVNtaJyjU
「因金錢利益與男性發生關係」，這點應該不會錯。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLBNAbE3RU
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8EMj4orS0
妍妍看著海說：「嗯，可以咁講…雖然有Ｄ女仔堅持唔上床，只係行街睇戲食飯拖手之類，但係…」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwE0danezTa
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZNmJ5lccQ
我等著她最後那句。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fFMzFjzDi
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tUJCvZrhK
「…我唔係個種。」妍妍說。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmLva7nGGs
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zvQHM7Yz6
「嗯，我聽緊。」我說。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1clIiMeQcF
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYjhcbj2Oe
她看看我，似乎發現我表情眼神沒甚麼變化後似乎放鬆了一點：「我仲以為你會介意添。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMk2O10S3wE
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM90VQKgF4o
我失笑：「我又唔係你邊個，有咩好介意？」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZqPMew00X
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpy7g9nldDC
「即係如果我同你親密Ｄ既你就會介意？」她反問。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0Xl10UZOD
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl21HXA5gJg
「我唔回答假設性問題。」我擺出官腔，因為我真的不知道。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuthJ8jP2rW
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfRG8JuQaE
妍妍喝一口啤酒：「不過都唔係每個男仔我都會同佢做…普通都係遊下車河，去船P，食飯個Ｄ，如果真係岩Feel同信得過既先會做。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPdl7zYJZS
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4CeJwP4x9
「咁…」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBzPNUfBeN
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7QNFnpGbV
感覺我說甚麼也會錯。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhEra7J3yy
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGjJiNovEC
「之前我咪問你關於Deep-World，黑PR既事…我都係係客身上聽返黎，有錢人就有呢Ｄ門路，總之，我係想搵黑PR黎對付我唯一既個個EX 。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmKvJCVHM7
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnPvkEhxf9
妍妍說過她是A1，即是現在單身，但曾拍過一次拖。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmf3peKSmWL
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡra2pWUBeRb
「嗯，你講過。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAGrN6IgWP
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zlAH0C7SJ
「但我估唔到你會記住。」她說，「估唔到你會記到童桐以外既事啊？」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSg5OaB3x2
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikcyB8dlnP
「咪笑我啦。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwh76KVJO4O
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXRLJ5JR6H
她笑了。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08dZTYqTxD
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZdBInJZFI
「尋日係好日，佢就係尋日結婚…」妍妍看著漆黑的海說，「終於都完，感覺就好似發左場夢咁。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuynuDdwqAW
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBO6ieHYyX
「係好夢定惡夢？」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16UVNkozwD
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRLjVnDfM1
「…同現實比，係好夢。」她說，「同個時我地打算過既將來比，係惡夢。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseP8xsK34u
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHv4chV0vFp
我仔細咀嚼這一句當中的含意。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGVe8rObWc
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQ9KyQxKvW
「曾經我同你一樣啊，呀遊。」她說，「曾經我都將一個人視為全宇宙，視為我既一切，我既世界就係圍住佢轉。過去，現在，未來，都因佢而起，因佢而存在，亦因佢而有寄望。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldIla0A9YT
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ETU0yxQHL
雖然我猜到了個大概，但我決定沉默。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQchunTKgXX
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYLlBp3VEG
有時候甚麼也不回應，只是陪伴，就是最好的回應。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2qRssiHFr
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohnurTVWlA
「我係你身上，就好似睇到曾經既自己咁。」妍妍說。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYeKeLf9kaw
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8175iTr2V
然後，她把頭靠到我的肩膊上。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQeI3YR1zmw
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvKGz1ZxfN
「仲相信愛情，只為左一個人而活，全心，全靈，為左自己鐘意既人博盡全力去爭取，連對手係植嵐晨咁既級數既人都繼續前進。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtnHQZaBWg
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvtw90vi5A
她一頭棕髮沿我胸膛傾瀉而下，撲鼻而來的是她頭髮的香氣夾雜海水咸味。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRWRnLpP71
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LIEmaGt8a
妍妍深呼吸，然後嘆了一口氣：「唉，但…依加已經完晒，其實早就應該完，當年就應該完，係我一直放佢唔低，直到佢尋日婚都結埋…我先知道一直走唔出去既人係我，亦…只有我一個。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gpob8dNJ2
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwRW7GWy8w
在之前我也想像過童桐結婚而新郎不是我的畫面。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHT5AvFHYli
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fuaOpxkyc
在之後，我連想像的勇氣也沒有。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DoIq1TPBM
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31PYlUcrSr
那是信仰的崩潰，世界的崩潰。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjH5AMCAMXt
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvI3dffWXN
萬物的崩潰。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNbC8b0Qx1
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JIZUriCAN
「所以你分手之後做PTGF…係因為…」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupvJGrT6Th
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKhyWSxygL
「我以為佢會在意。」妍妍自嘲地冷笑，「至少以為佢會嬲，佢會話我污糟之類，但係…佢根本完全唔在意，我試過自己上網唱佢，佢都係理都唔理，本身至少想佢憎我，如果可以，我想佢至少憎我一世。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpo0fSkMxJz
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVZn3aeh1y
妍妍說著說著，眼淚便靜靜的淌下。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPJJy83dL8
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYbXADjhcm
「點解…點解連憎我一世都唔可以？」妍妍哽咽地說，哭著的她全身在發抖。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvxkjtklWd
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjoeoMaMmn
愛的反面不是憎恨。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYO1FAwDzG7
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnuv23p9MG
愛的反面是徹底的無視和冷漠。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LnVqCqJeR
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZ8BRKD2T8
不知道是不是她已經習慣了這表情，竟然連抹也不打算抹，恍如連自己也要放棄自己一樣。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHZGPG17YJ
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwO8B7uTwV
這光景，我看過。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzU7z9GPa1
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjQBMy8nXT
我在曾經的自己身上看過。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvDDa6XDfK
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPawSrvuDr2
「你唔應該咁對自己。」我掏出紙巾輕印她的眼淚，「始終要放下。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3vgEylZls
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBcnUarHmW
「我知，但我做唔到。」把頭枕在我肩上的妍妍說，「等於我叫你放下童桐一樣。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQ1NjCczMy
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfubGxsNFz
「無可能。」我搖頭。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfF4NBayXI
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4Bbh1JRZt
「嗯，無可能。」她點頭。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7iyXVCmSo
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdM1pkxD4S
她繼續說：「一開始我只係咁自暴自棄，後來…我就覺得無所謂，點都無所謂，同唔同既男仔去玩，去蒲，做咩都好…我已經無所謂，過得一日就一日，反正又有錢收。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xPToBaXxi
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZc87YkPDjj
她打了個哆嗦，然後說：「既然唔知做咩好，咁樣就做咩都得。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4NxpfGaAE
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHC0yPEmgjC
失去人生目標的滋味，我倒還記憶猶新，大約幾小時前吧。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66kYpWvsoP
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uioVIdvPn
而且再往前回溯，在中學畢業後的暑假我也是這樣，唯一等待的就是自己慢慢在角落腐爛，做任何事也只是因本能而行動，也不記得今天是星期幾，幾月幾日，因為沒有需要。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5TraHMvue
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0oOkq6mpn
甚麼也再沒需要了。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ga45IrsWn
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX051F0JmcY
妍妍在我身上看到曾經的自己。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVzqAmfGe8
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWOX9nhWsl
我也在妍妍身上看到曾經的自己。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8ZCGtNSCs
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cWCLV86lg
我把自己那時的頹然喪志和妍妍說了個大概，她同樣地靜靜的聽著，而且聽著聽著她把自己雙腳抱住，似乎好像聽到甚麼不願意回想起的事一樣。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AkXGFpq6p
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEUCOQe0rt
話畢。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IukoA4Xyr
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCv5SQkUcna
妍妍閉上眼思考了一會兒，然後開口說：「睇黎我黎搵你呻係正確既選擇。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdOcqGmn4J
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRYW72J7da
「你想既，幾時都可以。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2hE98aoKj
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANpnTmTsPI
她沉默了片刻。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8zetC7LWY
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDBycmIwR4
「咁你個時點走出去？」她問我。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4HbKwqytV
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9F7VpUUg1
「一黎童桐唔俾我繼續摺落去喇。」我說，「二黎就係射返箭，射箭個時個人會好專心，射中靶會好有成功感，漸漸就走左出黎。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZYXHmaHZq
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7C2E1mFUKn
「無興趣。」她微笑說。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8XQbj7omo
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUwK0QXjzu
「…咁點解個時你唔搵我？至少我可以好似童桐拖我出房咁樣幫你，我地細個都一齊玩過，我唔會唔理你。」我說。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQE7i9HRgto
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7oti0X5L0
「個時我都未搵返你。我地細個個時又無Facebook IG呢Ｄ。」妍妍說，「係去到情聖係TG Group臨時要女仔同你去街，我先知個個係你。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gqU4Dgh0a
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVk1invd6G
「係咪…好失望？」我苦笑，「搞到要搵PTGF………雖，雖然係用黎激童桐啦，我本身都無諗住要搵PTGF，一日都係情聖自把自為，未未未未等到30歲轉生做魔法師囉…」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0APm1QQi1J
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3Mv5I1LHu
我說到了後半句才發現自己的發言何等窩囊，馬上手忙腳亂地想修正，但是似乎愈描愈黑。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHuszz8Xv1o
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHb3v7Wj0p
「好啦，唔使解釋。」妍妍被我的慌張樣子逗笑，「你真係除左射箭咩都唔識架喎。」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnMgvy4y78
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELj2uHta1A
「連你都咁講，嗚…」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbMAjgIzb7
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCwKe8Zp2s
「咁樣先係你既賣點。」妍妍輕撫我被海風吹亂的頭髮說。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69WaUA7u5e
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpKVBBZNhu
同樣是看到我使出全力追求童桐，情聖在我身上看到自己沒有之物並覺得耀眼，而妍妍在我身上看到曾經的自己並覺得懷念。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQ567kXSwH
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡko6kS5nxFv
我完全不覺我自己會為任何人帶來啟發，但似乎他們不這樣認為。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcacOUiDVu
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMICQnW1xI2
「咁你以後有咩打算？既然個個人已經連婚都結埋。」我說。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUIjDgGjIk
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWe28cTsYY
「……我唔知。」妍妍看著海的雙眼變得空洞，不過她還把頭靠在我肩上，我很有信心她沒有任何投海的念頭。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIcW2UEypI
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxV7LyGHt4R
然後她開口問：「你呢，如果最後童桐都係唔同你一齊，你又有咩打算？」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaHpoer63c
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtVvY5YMhU
「……我唔知。」我給出和妍妍一模一樣的答案。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIB94JhFKRI
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrHPzkiXbx
看來我真的沒有鼓勵人的天分，但畢竟我也自身難保嘛。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Edah3WKIT
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3ItaMWij1
「……」988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSYuPaPlvq
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVAT1KEmlO
兩個不知還可以怎樣辦的人，就這樣互相倚靠在一起，坐在海邊喝著廉價的啤酒，吹著因暑氣而帶點異味的海風。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnteCYG3eEg
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsT2PLr98tc
不是甚麼事也能憑決心，憑努力去改寫的。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8cIwfSlno
988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAT3eoynGuN
夏天，也到尾聲了。988Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OO3ysGRV0
8964 copyright protection984ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rfVshjrr1 維尼

3.148.200.110