【實體書有售】《青梅竹馬真係最難追》 - 結局篇Ｖ：我們都無法完美22082022

厭食症。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6r6ToGy63C
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在心理疾病之中，厭食症的死亡率也是數一數二高，標準死亡率達5.9。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErC44iyr2F
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5.9是一個怎樣的概念呢？這代表厭食症患者的死亡風險，是一個普通人的5.9倍之高。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTupfblgkk
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作為參考，使用可卡因的標準死亡率，是6。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAZJ0C8NYx
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重度吸煙，也只是2.6。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdgYYXNY7y
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精神分裂症是2.5，躁鬱症是2.2，暴食症是1.9，抑鬱症這麼普及而可怕…也才是1.6，而厭食症可是5.9啊…1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9xRSnzV91
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雖說這病不是甚麼不治之症，但致命率極高，變成長期厭食症的話死亡率高達20％，我不知道這比喻對不對，但玩俄羅斯轉盤往自己頭上用左輪開一槍，中彈率也才是 16.6％（六分之一）！1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJjGJ155hi
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童桐…怎麼了？1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMMjBilCke
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是我做錯了甚麼嗎？是我待她不夠好？還是我那兒惹她生氣了？她怎麼會有這樣嚴重的病？1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9k4SqY1Rd
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從那時開始，我便陷入了自責和內疚中，我每天都把這段日子以來的每個片段在腦中重播，苦苦思索，尋找自己做錯的地方。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUpIVRossC
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…這樣下去我早晚會和她一樣，但…不行，我不能倒下…1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3kkTEXcBN
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那晚送走妍妍後，我好像發了瘋一樣把Google搜尋頭十幾頁的厭食症資料都通通看一次，我知道這沒有任何幫忙，有病就應該看醫生，上網問診是大忌。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIfM3e41xH
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但…我停不了，只要一停下來便覺得好像愧對童桐一樣。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVkNpHxZ3p
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厭食症不是那些人一直斷食，節食減肥，最後失去控制變成甚麼東西也吃不下嗎？童桐雖說吃很少，但也只是和我相比，她一直也有好好吃飯才對，她竟然在吃飯後偷偷去廁所扣喉？她說自己減肥應該是藉口，她明明沒有在斷食節食，為甚麼會…1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSy4Wqvuz5
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她這樣用心裝出一個正常的樣子給我們看，她到底有多壓抑自己？1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hyPuf6DWI
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…是心理因素。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAFwtfWc5u
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「環境變化、事業失敗、失戀、挫折等，都可能成為厭食的契機，“不善表達意見、喜歡隱藏不安與不滿的人“，是特別容易厭食的類型…」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEZEghq21l
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我看住這段文字，在屏幕前抱頭崩潰。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwA1n2DwHVu
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想不到，我想不到自己做錯了甚麼，但是我也不知該怎麼辦。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnWMd7c8Sr
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童桐不是那種減肥減到失去了自控而變成厭食症的典型病例，她是因為心理壓力而變成這樣子的。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqTUcZotkw
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不行，這樣子下去…童桐…童桐會死的。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElPLWhEAii
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童桐真的會死掉的。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6U90wFaN9
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只要這件事，求求老天…不要…唯有童桐，我犧牲自己也要保護她。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanbhAokEzc
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〔嘟～嘟～〕1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86E2Letcu2
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是植嵐晨打來了，那邊慢這邊六小時。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0WUM6ZT76
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我抹抹臉，打開鏡頭接聽。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTE2OiCo0C
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「呀遊，呢排點呀…喂，你個樣搞咩？」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYoYFM8BkL
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不行，表情騙不了。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu50C5vsHaE
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「課金抽卡爆死，嗚…」我胡亂掰出理由。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxgXvd8vtq
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「量力而為呀，你話…Kay點樣？」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0v3p5kxBMX
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「佢…佢最近對我好大敵意。」我避重就輕避開核彈之類概念，「大概係將你同佢分手，去外國入左我數，我救你個時辦事不力之類…唉，我都唔知點解。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqkKYA7Ll6
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「…都似佢既諗法。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3pOKV4mHI
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「佢係咁既人？」我問。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBZsBDTEB9
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「我就直接講，我去哥本哈根某程度上關佢事…我同佢根本無拍過拖。」植嵐晨凝重地說。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqWiszjRCw
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「下？！佢又話分手既？」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDC9Y6jgym
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「呢個就係重點，佢…佢會成日分唔到幻想同現實，我承認個時佢同我有曖昧過，但係我地真係無一齊過。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAV7sKDllrl
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「係…」我呆然。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBArwExmiX8
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「但係，佢成日覺得自己係我女朋友！佢試過係我屋企樓下截我，如果我唔俾佢入黎，佢會守係我屋企門口成晚，仲要撕到自己衣衫不整！有人行過就喊晒口咁拍我門，搞到我又被人報警，好在門口有cam證明我清白！」植嵐晨說。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZKinKn2rC
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神經病。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NPu7HLSvZ
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「我阿爸前排有請看護，佢竟然呃個嬸嬸話自己係黎替假，然後推左我阿爸去飲茶話要孝順佢，個次之後我就知呢個女仔唔係痴情少少咁簡單。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNg5QyKxo9
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一切連起來了。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9swB5Q2xb
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我嚇得吞了吞口水，然後說：「之前…大學聆訊個日，佢本身諗住用界刀捅個主席頸。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVReVoibklY
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植嵐晨的樣子同樣變青：「本身？」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhs8fOnEAwr
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我點點頭：「嗯，好在我發現到阻止佢，不過俾佢車左巴。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vgquqqlFQ
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「…完全係佢會做得出既事，即係佢為左我…應該話為左佢想像出黎既我，連殺人都夠膽死。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDw3yAFwtKh
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「痴線…」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGzgyDBR2c
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那個Kay病得不輕啊。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz88pbGcid2
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「你避佢避到去哥本哈根？」我問。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFx7Ephx7q
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「一黎啦，二黎我都想去海外讀書好耐，呢邊北歐既產品設計…嘿嘿，串啲講句，世界第一，我仲考到獎學金添～」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8ZFouh4CF
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我無地自容，既然植嵐晨考到了世界第一的北歐讀設計，也說是說他本人的實力同樣到達世界第一的水準。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbARoz6vREB
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所以之前的抄襲指控，完全是誣蔑。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1AXlTYd0L
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「咁…咁就好。」我說，「依加呢個Kay咁癲，喂佢咁痴戀你，你同佢傾下得唔得呀。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxfidapvxo
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因為對我來說最有就說服力的人就是童桐，她也應該類似吧。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNeEfa3nJh
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「唔得。」植嵐晨搖頭說，「之前同佢嘈左一次好大獲，佢唔會再聽我講。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHx5GJnsaz8
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「嘈咩？」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOnjLrQtDQ
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「就佢係都要話我係佢男朋友，但我地根本無一齊過，所以我只好順手推舟同佢講話我地分手，然後係佢死纏爛打前飛走左。」植嵐晨說。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRqCeYv86f
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然後他便把那舟推過來我這邊了！原來又是我自己扔出去的回力鏢！1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjzis97yKJ
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「我大概都明係咩一回事。」我搖頭說，要煩的事還要幾多樣？但當務之急是童桐的厭食症，我的安危不重要。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNxYwt2gkJ
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沒有事比童桐重要，包括我的命。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jFS3wYoev
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「呀遊，你真係要小心，如果你話佢當日想捅個主席，我怕…佢真係會對你不利。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwKUz8z9Bo
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我怕嗎？老實說我怕。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42hA5R6LmT
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雖然我體格比她強壯，高她兩個頭以上，但是Kay應該會帶武器，而且她在暗我在明，不知道會不會在下個轉角路口便遇上拿著界刀的她。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dRmZrKckm
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但在她做出甚麼事之前，去警局備案也沒用吧，之前那個瑜珈女教練也備了案，也是遭到了毒手，警察也沒可能天天跟著我貼身保護。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ479twH00X9
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而且我更怕的是她遷怒到童桐身上，即使她不知道是童桐截下核彈，但她身為我女朋友，這種瘋子已不能按常理推斷。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8x5PQoUUS
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再說了她也不知道是我發射核彈害植嵐晨，她大概是通過「童桐喜歡植嵐晨」和「我喜歡童桐」而推理出我是最大得益者，光憑這猜測便盲射核彈。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXUgmdSGGt
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早就是有殺錯無放過了，她不是甚麼神機妙算，她只是無差別轟炸。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1xN7dUZf8
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「我…我會小心，都無計。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapn8iToPeP
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「嗯…咁再聯絡啦，記得出入小心。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3E2lGsztHN
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「拜拜。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qobJvVnMY
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視訊通話中斷。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bZ16jgEZG
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…唉，再看看厭食症的資料好了。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OCYIQn9jb
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這一看便是看到了天亮，我覺得自己很無力，始終我又不是醫生，更加不是精神科或心理醫生，我甚至不知道要帶童桐去那兒求醫，社工嗎？心理學家和心理醫生又有甚麼分別？認知行為治療師又是甚麼玩意？精神科有沒有門診？1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqT0QeIpFtB
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我想起了當日不好笑醫生的那句：解鈴還需保齡球…牽鈴人。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEYCq2rMsG
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牽鈴人大概是我吧。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9cEDLKrFu
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童桐沒有安全感，才這樣黏著我不放，但這原來只是冰山一角。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktfwoU0KJM
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植嵐晨的順手推舟，也許我也能學一學。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNBM8NkqlA
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得到了我爸媽的同意後，第二天晚上我去了童桐的家中。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmr7symAhf
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「童桐，過黎。」我拍拍自己大腿。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNm0lhTLNm
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「嗯？做咩？」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonE97xVpeN
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童桐還不知道我已得悉她患上了厭食症。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDt8XNu5ci
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「想…抱下你囉？」我裝成想撒嬌。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWjR8JYyiy
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「好好～呀遊好乖，今日練射箭都好俾心機～」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwk3y8MwmX9
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童桐騎在我身上抱住我，用力把我的頭埋到她胸前扭腰磨蹭讓我撒嬌。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpeRqKTYsW
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真爽。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6AtkuZmG6
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但我身上感到的重量可是明顯輕了不少，我甚至有種只抱住亞基的錯覺。那些厭食症患者變成活骷髏般的可怕照片在腦中閃現，我不安地抱緊童桐的腰再三確認。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1q0z1vX6q
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也變得更幼了。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKTY7pPTfP
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好輕，輕得像幽靈一樣。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWzlIEDodO
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這不是甚麼好現象。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6hvBletEP
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvlKSpQ6nL
「童桐，我問左我阿爸阿媽，就睇你想唔想。」我把頭從她胸前挪開，抬頭瞪住她雙眼說。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNb6aaxb5z
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaj0GEc4mGn
「係咩事…？」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYHIz7HCHo
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「我諗緊…反正我地都識左咁多年，雖然個時我地未一齊，但係其實有時我都覺得自己好似同你拍緊拖咁。」我說。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GvU0SMqXg
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy377I4gn6x
「嗯嗯…你想講咩呀，傻呀遊，嘻。」童桐笑著抱住我用頭輕蹭。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhN8EFsTBPR
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwIXfPnpuW
「唉。」我嘆一口氣，成為了童桐男朋友後似乎我也沒甚麼進步。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGs5H9aFkQJ
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKJXNnn1es
「你慢慢講，我去熄左部電視先。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJpdwUaOPA
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrtsgbQVQz
童桐從我身上滑下去。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpcR19YnMZ
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpg0AEPVYID
「…太平洋既熱帶低氣壓升級成熱帶風暴後繼續增強但移動緩慢，日本氣象廳正式命名為“氣槽“，預計移向南海…」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgv8zBA3Tkp
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA69nm7BmHs
魚腩盃是在室內舉行，應該不要緊。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZ6k5vIWa8
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhdigbIcYn
童桐把電視關掉回到我身上，我甚至能聽到她的心跳聲。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4m0NJVr3A
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6omsu937Hd
「我知道…你最近好大壓力係唔係？」我說，「我覺得你好似擔心緊好多野，俾好多負擔自己咁，童桐。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2G2zwFFnBw
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrSjqVBCe5
「無呀？」童桐笑道，「做咩咁諗？」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RiPes6HN6
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonf1OxI2lC
…不，我不能說穿我已經知道她的病，這樣她為了治癒自己只會更痛苦，例如表面上吃更多東西，然後以更隱密的方式扣喉，她就是這種笨蛋。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmk8JHhES20
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但這樣下去童桐會死的。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PiEuqVGO7
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpWeIPSy4e
童桐死掉，我也不算活著了。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4ZsGZnnLu
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWrQh4WXzi
「…你鐘意我既，係唔係？」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7czyd3NsW
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「嗯。」童桐點點頭說。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweaRndgpKE
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「如果我既支持同陪多啲你，你可以自在啲開心啲…童桐，雖然我地起埋一齊無幾耐，但係…」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dbHWeQPNf
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhfQhy1HBI
我深呼吸，童桐帶著笑意等著我問。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOz8zm3G1A
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「你想唔想過黎同我一齊住？」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6aVJeUZ5v
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對，我知道我知道這樣很快，太快，超快，但是我和童桐可是從幼稚園認識到現在，所以我覺得還好。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52deskRryc
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zEnsHv5YM
而且我和她一起住的話，我能更易察覺到她的變化，她的心情，也能多點陪她。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbPLD8s28J
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沒待她開口回答，我便繼續說下去。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTKZgACmvu
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7SDVTjKcf
「我好鐘意你，童桐，我已經早就無左你唔得。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhZwzmDNeS
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnA7RI3zyt6
既然童桐的壓力來自不安，來自我沒有給予的安全感，來自她怕一但失去我便一口氣失去一切，又一次被拋棄的話…我便慢慢為她重建信心吧。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVSaSf8RDG
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4R7tYC14O
「所以…就算你只係住我隔離，我都覺得唔夠，我想再見你多啲, 我想再陪你多啲，我知道可能太快，你亦無同過其他人同居，但係我…」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTRP3lnSep
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「好啦好啦。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEYHaY0qsG
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8WeZmfLOj
童桐深深擁吻到我身上，把我的話打住，我們互相深吻至肺活量用盡為止，她的心臟穩穩的在躍動，而則我貪婪地傾聽著。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3skcAW1Fe
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我沒法想像這脈動會消失。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgPA9FfsdJ
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「咁…我黎打攪你喇。」童桐紅著臉說。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGdClWcVQg
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「真係可以？！」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmLcaPy4Zk
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「反正都係一牆之隔…爺爺嫲嫲唔介意既，但我夜晚要返黎幫佢地做家務。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8YUGsBvAQ
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEGFqEhIC6
「嗯！我都過黎幫你手，嘿嘿，睇下點槽肥你啦。」我抱住她說。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmG47PXP8SU
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「下，我肥左既你唔要我點算？」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLfBw0O2KM
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那個人教的話術真的和我自己想的是兩個層次，童桐果然按住他的計算來接話。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5UMfr7a92
1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYQP8rl8Mg
「點樣既你，邊個身份既你…都係你，童桐。」我牽起她的手直擊她的心理弱點說，「只要係你，我就會係你身邊，我就會一直鐘意你，陪住你…保護你。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOw0kjyP7W
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「我都係，呀遊。」1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWjptOQLR5
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童桐眼眶有淚水晃動，同居的生活要開始了。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAJZzBZyji
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…絕對要在病魔手中保護童桐，想到這兒我便輕輕再握緊掌心中童桐略顯瘦削的玉手。1080Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRnGiK05hm