又是一陣沉默，然後妍妍轉頭看著我問道：「呀遊。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYuTPGYIhd
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LBwU2eoz7
「…係？」我回答。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iBS5eSY0P
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiX1Rgfp2Th
「你覺得PTGF係做Ｄ咩？」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63vP1fq5Gb
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPZRdl7nUb
PDGF，是Part Time Girl Friend簡寫，老實說不是甚麼新興東西，以往的名字有很多，援交，出租女友，兼職女友，爸爸活，Sugar Daddy之類…當然，仔細劃分用字定義還是能分出差異的，但…1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY67i8ESXdS
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfsqONrpVI
「因金錢利益與男性發生關係」，這點應該不會錯。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmMHqfIOZk
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVkxANyXYP
妍妍看著海說：「嗯，可以咁講…雖然有Ｄ女仔堅持唔上床，只係行街睇戲食飯拖手之類，但係…」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GYZ2AyrJU
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7632ZIbKo
我等著她最後那句。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9d8PcVoWOc
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56aRf9hKWt
「…我唔係個種。」妍妍說。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywKS9cBO9X
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOvj7oLG7l
「嗯，我聽緊。」我說。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTHZTbhUNt
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWSklsrHOI
她看看我，似乎發現我表情眼神沒甚麼變化後似乎放鬆了一點：「我仲以為你會介意添。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyWTAwcTsB
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgdBlSjbq7
我失笑：「我又唔係你邊個，有咩好介意？」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGCYYYzQUd
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizNFRpSJ1m
「即係如果我同你親密Ｄ既你就會介意？」她反問。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz91i7B0CWR
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZrh7uNOpl
「我唔回答假設性問題。」我擺出官腔，因為我真的不知道。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62cgsozjIY
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nnT2ORYfl
妍妍喝一口啤酒：「不過都唔係每個男仔我都會同佢做…普通都係遊下車河，去船P，食飯個Ｄ，如果真係岩Feel同信得過既先會做。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwo9TJeuea
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTmvQY8knL
「咁…」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq44Naq8Ie0
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQh92qf2gH
感覺我說甚麼也會錯。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOuPpBG2u4
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsI2F1Xk3U
「之前我咪問你關於Deep-World，黑PR既事…我都係係客身上聽返黎，有錢人就有呢Ｄ門路，總之，我係想搵黑PR黎對付我唯一既個個EX 。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydwYE5QHGA
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKntU4euyWV
妍妍說過她是A1，即是現在單身，但曾拍過一次拖。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGeSzY9A8L
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3xWuDjSLE
「嗯，你講過。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33dk3m9385
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoxwR1yzHG
「但我估唔到你會記住。」她說，「估唔到你會記到童桐以外既事啊？」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82r6ON53Vq
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkujDML5mxf
「咪笑我啦。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjwIH7opqc
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5K6CIi4cR0
她笑了。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PlWrgDckx
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslwLMVOmKm
「尋日係好日，佢就係尋日結婚…」妍妍看著漆黑的海說，「終於都完，感覺就好似發左場夢咁。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlIHVSNPmy
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtcnReVpGb
「係好夢定惡夢？」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgTuWArUxc
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOy2AZ6rLO
「…同現實比，係好夢。」她說，「同個時我地打算過既將來比，係惡夢。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuLcab4Glc
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNflcOQaoN
我仔細咀嚼這一句當中的含意。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEIwUxGDt0
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6CcNUg2qr
「曾經我同你一樣啊，呀遊。」她說，「曾經我都將一個人視為全宇宙，視為我既一切，我既世界就係圍住佢轉。過去，現在，未來，都因佢而起，因佢而存在，亦因佢而有寄望。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJHag3RlMi
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74SifFTaey
雖然我猜到了個大概，但我決定沉默。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbKXkrmsw7
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTV7DE7v7SJ
有時候甚麼也不回應，只是陪伴，就是最好的回應。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lAouijrpS
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrhB5RSIS1
「我係你身上，就好似睇到曾經既自己咁。」妍妍說。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMj04e6pDqj
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaX6sfJyjPo
然後，她把頭靠到我的肩膊上。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOtT9oNFKR
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasJDxqxFkv
「仲相信愛情，只為左一個人而活，全心，全靈，為左自己鐘意既人博盡全力去爭取，連對手係植嵐晨咁既級數既人都繼續前進。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgi62mjn3S
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaHGeWkmbL
她一頭棕髮沿我胸膛傾瀉而下，撲鼻而來的是她頭髮的香氣夾雜海水咸味。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73thcP629v
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQLlfFdjs0
妍妍深呼吸，然後嘆了一口氣：「唉，但…依加已經完晒，其實早就應該完，當年就應該完，係我一直放佢唔低，直到佢尋日婚都結埋…我先知道一直走唔出去既人係我，亦…只有我一個。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKhrhdJjny
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7kpMITeek
在之前我也想像過童桐結婚而新郎不是我的畫面。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmBp9GHpc8
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQy16B6LfI
在之後，我連想像的勇氣也沒有。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc69WsjAcCe
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCs4eguZaK
那是信仰的崩潰，世界的崩潰。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVlwRrYsvs
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlNPusE88B
萬物的崩潰。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHjWtG5fjc
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxD0EuIBhM
「所以你分手之後做PTGF…係因為…」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0UUj2HkDq
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9o50UIAXA
「我以為佢會在意。」妍妍自嘲地冷笑，「至少以為佢會嬲，佢會話我污糟之類，但係…佢根本完全唔在意，我試過自己上網唱佢，佢都係理都唔理，本身至少想佢憎我，如果可以，我想佢至少憎我一世。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTu603Ij2c
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvHthOJL2b
妍妍說著說著，眼淚便靜靜的淌下。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1qTKoOid0
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1AnKYspGY
「點解…點解連憎我一世都唔可以？」妍妍哽咽地說，哭著的她全身在發抖。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVaaxFY9y9
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfl6UQxg00
愛的反面不是憎恨。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehkszCRa1A
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh11SDJh1Ip
愛的反面是徹底的無視和冷漠。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcd80I2nb9
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqzluiugBs
不知道是不是她已經習慣了這表情，竟然連抹也不打算抹，恍如連自己也要放棄自己一樣。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DFG6bNWH5
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXUieseHXO
這光景，我看過。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bD0CecVML
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYjPeTQPhG
我在曾經的自己身上看過。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVYcbYyyie
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJC5wQZil3
「你唔應該咁對自己。」我掏出紙巾輕印她的眼淚，「始終要放下。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW657S7olfB
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eCX656Y4m
「我知，但我做唔到。」把頭枕在我肩上的妍妍說，「等於我叫你放下童桐一樣。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64wUwKuS7m
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eASIwEYJk
「無可能。」我搖頭。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ77gVAIlkJ
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnscf0zBpf5
「嗯，無可能。」她點頭。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeleIHLIrRy
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2AZHfD3OZ
她繼續說：「一開始我只係咁自暴自棄，後來…我就覺得無所謂，點都無所謂，同唔同既男仔去玩，去蒲，做咩都好…我已經無所謂，過得一日就一日，反正又有錢收。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx034PfKDNK
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLRicc0jeS
她打了個哆嗦，然後說：「既然唔知做咩好，咁樣就做咩都得。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcA0GXVYiRU
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCJTxvVZSm
失去人生目標的滋味，我倒還記憶猶新，大約幾小時前吧。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfak293sLC
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIXANdIADP
而且再往前回溯，在中學畢業後的暑假我也是這樣，唯一等待的就是自己慢慢在角落腐爛，做任何事也只是因本能而行動，也不記得今天是星期幾，幾月幾日，因為沒有需要。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6amI250im
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YyYr3ns1v
甚麼也再沒需要了。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdwI1ZLv80
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMUJ5yC4fw
妍妍在我身上看到曾經的自己。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKL22gA9dS
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfw1GFpSRJQ
我也在妍妍身上看到曾經的自己。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ERLUyQgeA
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUgx0EEgiB
我把自己那時的頹然喪志和妍妍說了個大概，她同樣地靜靜的聽著，而且聽著聽著她把自己雙腳抱住，似乎好像聽到甚麼不願意回想起的事一樣。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1gPqd1E3R
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzO8BgLRm8i
話畢。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOXGOo2sfN
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHCNLFDqaM
妍妍閉上眼思考了一會兒，然後開口說：「睇黎我黎搵你呻係正確既選擇。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeLTPGXtqn
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXfGbYQzTQ
「你想既，幾時都可以。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBj0TkY9HiK
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIa90MPFXi
她沉默了片刻。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lxRn1rVkS
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVecajounb
「咁你個時點走出去？」她問我。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn95jGSRbax
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPi9BiTMKQV
「一黎童桐唔俾我繼續摺落去喇。」我說，「二黎就係射返箭，射箭個時個人會好專心，射中靶會好有成功感，漸漸就走左出黎。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjgESTb00k
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGODeUN53L
「無興趣。」她微笑說。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0LQD7KOEt
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojKSaCsWp6
「…咁點解個時你唔搵我？至少我可以好似童桐拖我出房咁樣幫你，我地細個都一齊玩過，我唔會唔理你。」我說。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtG6IVWjigm
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18pTbJPoES
「個時我都未搵返你。我地細個個時又無Facebook IG呢Ｄ。」妍妍說，「係去到情聖係TG Group臨時要女仔同你去街，我先知個個係你。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1R938VL7E
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6OINag2lB
「係咪…好失望？」我苦笑，「搞到要搵PTGF………雖，雖然係用黎激童桐啦，我本身都無諗住要搵PTGF，一日都係情聖自把自為，未未未未等到30歲轉生做魔法師囉…」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWT90FwBqXg
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjymlUG0AO
我說到了後半句才發現自己的發言何等窩囊，馬上手忙腳亂地想修正，但是似乎愈描愈黑。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKMJDJQ0Sm
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5JUQcgDTn
「好啦，唔使解釋。」妍妍被我的慌張樣子逗笑，「你真係除左射箭咩都唔識架喎。」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmEvhBB5Tp
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGz3dgOW4v
「連你都咁講，嗚…」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5xrpYoZkz
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9L1ZPf7pB
「咁樣先係你既賣點。」妍妍輕撫我被海風吹亂的頭髮說。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjkrx6GYvA
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nH6qRn7Vl
同樣是看到我使出全力追求童桐，情聖在我身上看到自己沒有之物並覺得耀眼，而妍妍在我身上看到曾經的自己並覺得懷念。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5bAi8JbuZ
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdmnvhMhDE
我完全不覺我自己會為任何人帶來啟發，但似乎他們不這樣認為。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDB3As7JaI
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5ddeMBh7V
「咁你以後有咩打算？既然個個人已經連婚都結埋。」我說。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7deiK6Ee5
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZPMRf0Hkp
「……我唔知。」妍妍看著海的雙眼變得空洞，不過她還把頭靠在我肩上，我很有信心她沒有任何投海的念頭。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wpHN7VSJ0
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSzBLWk2oi
然後她開口問：「你呢，如果最後童桐都係唔同你一齊，你又有咩打算？」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VUGZViDTQ
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhmQpEnlxV
「……我唔知。」我給出和妍妍一模一樣的答案。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbOyTft6Zy
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0BEwP09Tm
看來我真的沒有鼓勵人的天分，但畢竟我也自身難保嘛。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEOLMdYOI5
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjRPmyHp4T
「……」1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSGgeoVe0y
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQSNkKQWCn
兩個不知還可以怎樣辦的人，就這樣互相倚靠在一起，坐在海邊喝著廉價的啤酒，吹著因暑氣而帶點異味的海風。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGKJH5tVh2
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwG1K1iEXui
不是甚麼事也能憑決心，憑努力去改寫的。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMh3J90YjWN
1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cZhar5tHH
夏天，也到尾聲了。1009Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYNhLT7mfV
8964 copyright protection1005ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqgky5wIyK 維尼

216.73.216.66