我是季妍，出版界筆耕多年的小小插畫家一枚。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVHUIJVHB1
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlb5Jto3990
我熱愛我的工作，作畫迅速從不拖稿的我，筆耕之餘還在家裡開了繪畫教室騙騙小朋友，幾年下來，事業小成的我有了幾個足以讓我膨脹的稱號---出版界稱我“季快手”，學生叫我季老師…447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXTScbBjGv
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WY6I5tHbZ
但，這些，都不及我另一個稱號來得“響亮”。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdH4LPls8i
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17t5tIxkQ7
這個稱號是婆婆取的，她叫我~~“無~蛋~雞”~~~447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh29CJitclK
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKduP1BCip
是的，你沒聽錯，因為在她眼中，我就是隻生不出蛋的老母雞。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZzti9E4CO
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXR8MXnXRqb
也許是怕我日子太無聊了吧，老天爺給了我一個全世界最棒的老公，卻又買一送一的附贈了個機車婆婆，結婚三年來，生不出半顆蛋的我早已被她嫌到十八層地獄，偏偏她老人家想盡辦法就是無法把我從“楊昕然老婆”的位置踢下來，因為她兒子超疼老婆…447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BxzIPaTd9
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPBQDHnTfL
呵~~~你看她煩不煩哪！447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4Jpls9J2g
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUsCV0waa3
媳婦的肚子沒動靜，兒子又越來越“老”（明明才32歲），眼看楊家就要斷子絕孫了，婆婆的焦慮越來越嚴重，於是她開始檢討我敷不出蛋的可能原因……447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhwwZtgDRg
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIv7qyueZrK
吃冰、吹冷氣……好，我改。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw01yKeYTRE
熬夜……對，我的錯。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13DvV5QluG
使用便宜水彩顏料……便宜？一盒幾千447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Qe13ufUF8
的“林布蘭特”？447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fI70cU2zS
呼吸的空氣有毒……好吧，我可以不呼447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSOFo6q12B
吸了……447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5GzTiv8Wt
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoecZZuwlwS
總而言之，親愛的婆婆把所有生不出孩子的原因都歸到我身上，偏偏怪東怪西就是不怪她兒子…有一次她親愛的兒子終於看不下去了…447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJISlfB0YMS
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SlMQvDdku
「搞不好是我的精子有問題啊」，楊昕然先生說。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDLcaxqALu
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Cropom0xB
「胡說，我們楊家的精子怎麼會有問題」，婆婆嚴厲否認。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIb5FRVoOuQ
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvaFBPeeHs
噢，對了，說到精子，我老公是窩在手機堆裡寫APP程式的程式設計師。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqHb4O5Vqy
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡerJjhNgXGR
所以他的精子“絕對”沒問題。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuEmdTRVON
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbhfKAUCLy
唉~寶貝兒子沒有錯，生不出蛋的媳婦趕不走，婆婆的日子簡直沒法過了。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Yyj1Ast1I
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOo6Ovtizd
怎麼辦？447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrGAr6x0JK
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtL2IdSGTHF
能怎麼辦？…只好叫媳婦多多“努力”囉！447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqvmb3KaT4
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6VOuTLaGE
於是，親愛的婆婆天天督促我，天天督促我，電台賣的成藥我當飯吃、全臺灣的乩童都成了婆婆的FB好友，對婆婆來說，乩童的話就是聖旨，乩童叫我做什麼我都得照做……為此我吞了香灰、喝了符水、嚐遍了你想像不到的噁心東西…447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEX5FVMIAM
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqIbHUJnsK
但，這麼“乖巧”的我，那天還是爆發了…447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qcwHxFOol
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqk4T9vtlgB
因為婆婆叫我去跪“她娘家”的祖先！447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7PaJbQ9wk
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7s9h8dG7c2
「為什麼我得去跪妳媽的（ps:這不是髒話）祖先」？…我心頭一驚。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCety0pSxPV
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJbjly70jC
「大師說妳祖先得罪我娘家祖先，所以祖先不要妳的種」，婆婆舒適的窩在客廳沙發上削著我剛買回來的西洋梨，「除非你向我娘家祖先下跪道歉，不然」…447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEoJiNw4Rn
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChhnEWQ2kl
「下跪道歉」？447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwPv1tQCVA
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAd4cKHb2B
「沒錯」，婆婆繼續削梨子，「所以明天妳跟我回」…447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2128nZKWz
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnYxaqZY6l
「~！…、☆○＞□＾」…447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9SyohEm3w
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VLhz2mfGT
不知是不是方才喝的水果啤酒太上頭了，明明早已對婆婆的刻薄言語“免疫”的我，竟然被區區幾句話惹火了，於是，當婆婆終於消滅了難纏的梨子皮，準備享受她的勞動成果…的前一秒，我突然伸手搶走她的梨子…447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGql67EOeH
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdT1wkn1Ia
「接下來還有什麼」？我紅著眼問。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuw4tbrc5DM
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ201Fpcymkc
「蛤」？這是我嫁入楊家以來第一次對婆婆發飆，可能是不習慣這樣的我吧，婆婆完全愣住了。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Aeczfw7lF
　　447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Mj4IBudGa
「我說…接下來妳還要怎麼“玩”我」？447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeIX2WaL3Q
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgEVerLl94
「什麼“玩”妳」？婆婆盯著被我搶走的梨子，一臉的莫名，「我還不是為妳好」…447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAslGPwA9Jg
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDpTbrGtkk
「為我好」？我氣笑了，「原來逼我喝符水吃香灰吃到拉肚子是為我好」…我咬牙切齒的用梨子指著婆婆…的鼻子，「摸摸良心吧！如果今天安然生不出來妳會這樣對她嗎」？447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsraI0J0IUn
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcArIl5s6ei
PS:楊安然---昕然的妹妹，某私立大學夜間部學生，楊家的寶貝，也是婆婆絕不能踩的大地雷…447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcR1X3OFIYS
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAy7iB5iO5l
但此刻氣瘋的我竟然踩下去了！447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvwe6KCStY
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFPQAG6oig
「妳…妳這隻無蛋雞」！婆婆果不其然的…炸了，她憤然站起，把我手中的梨子搶去狠砸在地，「妳敢詛咒我女兒跟妳一樣沒蛋！妳…妳給我滾出去」！447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNtH0Hny1h
　　447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsdLb5Ii2m
「為什麼我要滾」？我叉腰繼續做死，「這裡是我家耶」！447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoDDYedUhF
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49M2XHy22v
是的，這間位於碧潭河畔三房一廳的小屋是我和老公浪漫的家，我的婆家“遠”在五十公尺外，但我忘了婆婆是老公最親愛的老媽，更忘了婆婆是個多麼愛演的老太太。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5N60SeYto9
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd53swpdPeZ
「妳…」…罵著罵著，婆婆竟然一屁股坐在地上嚎啕大哭起來~「嗚嗚~~我是造了什麼孽啊！年輕的時候為楊家做牛做馬，好不容易當了婆婆，還要被媳婦糟蹋」…447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLyKh94B9x
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP72GDFVQnb
「媽」…唉…又來了…447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2f92sCI2TR
　　447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WTaJK5WV3
我無奈的揉揉眉心，一邊讚嘆婆婆的“演技”，只是……這裡只有我和婆婆，她能演給誰看？447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyupMkfpxR
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF06KjqozIM
咦…不對……447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqLtvMuVeE
　　447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZS86D5rNd
我看了看電視上方的大圓鐘…447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1R75vsXvy
　　447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4W0ZqZqQc2
呵…果然…老公接安然放學快到家了。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPx8KHI2nE
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZ1d7IyKaA
「我的命怎麼這麼苦啊…嗚嗚嗚」…447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0tX3ZxyWj
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDNwo4DJo5
我無奈的看著眼前演得興起的婆婆，孝順的兒女快回來了，而苦命的母親還坐在地板上哭天搶地，可想而知，幾分鐘後這個家會有多“熱鬧”。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoNled9Fjm
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrZmth4zA5
「唉」…我忍不住歎氣…唉…又是這樣…447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiCBaSXWRM
　　447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIBC0LnttV
我很清楚如何避免即將到來的衝突…447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVvbXnooVA
　　447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23pwY7ulDK
不就是答應去跟“她媽的”祖先下跪道歉嗎？447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3Zfgmo1Sn
　　447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9yYpm51Su
下跪，簡單，但接下來呢？447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiT4yN74ad
　　447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8HUgf9oma
只要我變不出孩子，婆婆永遠有新的花招等著我…447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRosOIjZfHV
　　447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGMfoVt2aE
我已經陪婆婆玩兩年了，這樣的日子我還得熬多久？447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKySux4znqn
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVBuKdbvUq
　　　　我 受 夠 了！！！447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPi3zN1GN85
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtBIuylfXF
「妳慢慢哭吧」，婆婆的哭聲幾乎穿透了天際，但我已經不在乎了…在一片空白的思緒中，我恍惚的握住了大門門把…「我~~不幹了」！447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpxu14yvFr
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBU5pufQ2DE
“ 砰”！！~~的一聲…婆婆的哭嚎聲被留在了門後。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxB8R5yOeX
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexkmmJT3fM
我走出門外，迎接我的是愁煞人的秋雨，十月的碧潭剛迎來入秋第一道寒流，冰冷的雨絲一根根扎入我毫無防護的雙臂，我知道我該回頭，但我無路可退。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KVX9OW0J2
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7DeuDSdhM
退不得，那就跑吧！447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQoLOxXDLR0
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynMzZfkzLv
於是我開始拼命奔跑、拼命奔跑……447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdG65r04Z4
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtGncFD0hE
萬萬想不到，這一跑，竟跑出了我的第一個孩子，還有那短暫卻一生難忘的姐妹情誼……447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSubgcNyBGT
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77fC9JjGK9
這是一個很短、很短的故事，如果您允許的話，請容我用旁觀者的角度，向您娓娓道來吧。