我是季妍，出版界筆耕多年的小小插畫家一枚。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSE30OLxjD
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoiord6W3lG
我熱愛我的工作，作畫迅速從不拖稿的我，筆耕之餘還在家裡開了繪畫教室騙騙小朋友，幾年下來，事業小成的我有了幾個足以讓我膨脹的稱號---出版界稱我“季快手”，學生叫我季老師…444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPDwvKiatA
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEknmRJ2wL
但，這些，都不及我另一個稱號來得“響亮”。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPNouvjZT0
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjxvskoetA
這個稱號是婆婆取的，她叫我~~“無~蛋~雞”~~~444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFS5L937uGV
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJRKuHzukP
是的，你沒聽錯，因為在她眼中，我就是隻生不出蛋的老母雞。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEBHQVOBSX
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLn18M2Xyz
也許是怕我日子太無聊了吧，老天爺給了我一個全世界最棒的老公，卻又買一送一的附贈了個機車婆婆，結婚三年來，生不出半顆蛋的我早已被她嫌到十八層地獄，偏偏她老人家想盡辦法就是無法把我從“楊昕然老婆”的位置踢下來，因為她兒子超疼老婆…444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZOh0vO4dn
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bMpMuvDcp
呵~~~你看她煩不煩哪！444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDPY4aUGj6
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAM9z9giLWd
媳婦的肚子沒動靜，兒子又越來越“老”（明明才32歲），眼看楊家就要斷子絕孫了，婆婆的焦慮越來越嚴重，於是她開始檢討我敷不出蛋的可能原因……444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVghmAtUoah
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBwkjG5tgP
吃冰、吹冷氣……好，我改。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAmlqCYBxn
熬夜……對，我的錯。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAC77dXKObq
使用便宜水彩顏料……便宜？一盒幾千444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQapSQsKwG
的“林布蘭特”？444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMH0D7em7iE
呼吸的空氣有毒……好吧，我可以不呼444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJgjLae7yr
吸了……444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52abwnGIoc
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErFPEdy5KK
總而言之，親愛的婆婆把所有生不出孩子的原因都歸到我身上，偏偏怪東怪西就是不怪她兒子…有一次她親愛的兒子終於看不下去了…444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMdW7x3iXQ
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zYzOTi7Kv
「搞不好是我的精子有問題啊」，楊昕然先生說。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cerELyvL9
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBRueXPMEJ
「胡說，我們楊家的精子怎麼會有問題」，婆婆嚴厲否認。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgH7Xma5HNT
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41OhvwpP2d
噢，對了，說到精子，我老公是窩在手機堆裡寫APP程式的程式設計師。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcndBLvXR9
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8tVBp2HmX
所以他的精子“絕對”沒問題。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74KaRPewBP
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLZgpMvnl4
唉~寶貝兒子沒有錯，生不出蛋的媳婦趕不走，婆婆的日子簡直沒法過了。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJriCYjfUCn
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddjjvYZlfe
怎麼辦？444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcB8qoAFm7h
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA65eLsvo5i
能怎麼辦？…只好叫媳婦多多“努力”囉！444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJXFQkCoE0
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzw2e3fwlu
於是，親愛的婆婆天天督促我，天天督促我，電台賣的成藥我當飯吃、全臺灣的乩童都成了婆婆的FB好友，對婆婆來說，乩童的話就是聖旨，乩童叫我做什麼我都得照做……為此我吞了香灰、喝了符水、嚐遍了你想像不到的噁心東西…444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYq08HMga0
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4OKl0cwaR
但，這麼“乖巧”的我，那天還是爆發了…444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZ6ZQUdMak
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgt8QuSmao
因為婆婆叫我去跪“她娘家”的祖先！444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV02KOgDXGu
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLaZCCwpom
「為什麼我得去跪妳媽的（ps:這不是髒話）祖先」？…我心頭一驚。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknbgCApQWu
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbsaxzzlyu
「大師說妳祖先得罪我娘家祖先，所以祖先不要妳的種」，婆婆舒適的窩在客廳沙發上削著我剛買回來的西洋梨，「除非你向我娘家祖先下跪道歉，不然」…444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezwr4eN86G
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjtyEfDIKK
「下跪道歉」？444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfDydcCCpm
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1EL5m7J3R
「沒錯」，婆婆繼續削梨子，「所以明天妳跟我回」…444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJ0jaNZSgK
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcqHedw5gd
「~！…、☆○＞□＾」…444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCRvG2w6WA
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pkiIPhYQC
不知是不是方才喝的水果啤酒太上頭了，明明早已對婆婆的刻薄言語“免疫”的我，竟然被區區幾句話惹火了，於是，當婆婆終於消滅了難纏的梨子皮，準備享受她的勞動成果…的前一秒，我突然伸手搶走她的梨子…444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawijawyCTs
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1Jzbk9V8L
「接下來還有什麼」？我紅著眼問。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcLau7W3sp
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTs9ELJLqg
「蛤」？這是我嫁入楊家以來第一次對婆婆發飆，可能是不習慣這樣的我吧，婆婆完全愣住了。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MmkhFYgC7
　　444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAztjxRj5ze
「我說…接下來妳還要怎麼“玩”我」？444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3poTfBOzpY
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRV21TObxZ8
「什麼“玩”妳」？婆婆盯著被我搶走的梨子，一臉的莫名，「我還不是為妳好」…444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BRsZmebEn
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqr2LZIyInZ
「為我好」？我氣笑了，「原來逼我喝符水吃香灰吃到拉肚子是為我好」…我咬牙切齒的用梨子指著婆婆…的鼻子，「摸摸良心吧！如果今天安然生不出來妳會這樣對她嗎」？444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIYfbheaM5
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOJlgOMmz6
PS:楊安然---昕然的妹妹，某私立大學夜間部學生，楊家的寶貝，也是婆婆絕不能踩的大地雷…444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvo5JR3MV0
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kq0Z0yRo5
但此刻氣瘋的我竟然踩下去了！444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvybRoYDsX
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4gcEJCWoS
「妳…妳這隻無蛋雞」！婆婆果不其然的…炸了，她憤然站起，把我手中的梨子搶去狠砸在地，「妳敢詛咒我女兒跟妳一樣沒蛋！妳…妳給我滾出去」！444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLce0UjudDV
　　444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggRG8ja81s
「為什麼我要滾」？我叉腰繼續做死，「這裡是我家耶」！444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcYRv7Qkl2
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SxHAPWnN6
是的，這間位於碧潭河畔三房一廳的小屋是我和老公浪漫的家，我的婆家“遠”在五十公尺外，但我忘了婆婆是老公最親愛的老媽，更忘了婆婆是個多麼愛演的老太太。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzOrOj8ttE
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpnPl5UCzJ
「妳…」…罵著罵著，婆婆竟然一屁股坐在地上嚎啕大哭起來~「嗚嗚~~我是造了什麼孽啊！年輕的時候為楊家做牛做馬，好不容易當了婆婆，還要被媳婦糟蹋」…444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4zJkycDUj
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQP17gD97LY
「媽」…唉…又來了…444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhECdalxALx
　　444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0Mcegylit
我無奈的揉揉眉心，一邊讚嘆婆婆的“演技”，只是……這裡只有我和婆婆，她能演給誰看？444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqGH1FNwBu
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2NvU1cb82
咦…不對……444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25XQcDEnna
　　444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38EtCSP5bX
我看了看電視上方的大圓鐘…444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2Pn3CQVLC
　　444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMskY1BNDL
呵…果然…老公接安然放學快到家了。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc40Oi2h8j7
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmeZz91CgT
「我的命怎麼這麼苦啊…嗚嗚嗚」…444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXp19mcWZB
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLioRqEsQT
我無奈的看著眼前演得興起的婆婆，孝順的兒女快回來了，而苦命的母親還坐在地板上哭天搶地，可想而知，幾分鐘後這個家會有多“熱鬧”。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPm5RAUchGV
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUH8cP6mpKl
「唉」…我忍不住歎氣…唉…又是這樣…444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CGDhswOIi
　　444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUDpAKOFdU
我很清楚如何避免即將到來的衝突…444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bDG2D9dMA
　　444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLXjk3SAc3
不就是答應去跟“她媽的”祖先下跪道歉嗎？444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRFOyRVkBq
　　444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ezJtZOACx
下跪，簡單，但接下來呢？444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEigVlVeMv2
　　444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxT3col00Mt
只要我變不出孩子，婆婆永遠有新的花招等著我…444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvU2TY2UY1D
　　444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmrHGjFq8a
我已經陪婆婆玩兩年了，這樣的日子我還得熬多久？444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7YLSgIt6y
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLKSzIlB1q
　　　　我 受 夠 了！！！444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkxbY8spWo
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaII25HdG01
「妳慢慢哭吧」，婆婆的哭聲幾乎穿透了天際，但我已經不在乎了…在一片空白的思緒中，我恍惚的握住了大門門把…「我~~不幹了」！444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xYyT1tcW8
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi77iQGhMZA
“ 砰”！！~~的一聲…婆婆的哭嚎聲被留在了門後。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINimHksjix
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RXKYxsCrR
我走出門外，迎接我的是愁煞人的秋雨，十月的碧潭剛迎來入秋第一道寒流，冰冷的雨絲一根根扎入我毫無防護的雙臂，我知道我該回頭，但我無路可退。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6O76crmXBg
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjV6ogYF0J
退不得，那就跑吧！444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGo31Gr2usw
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1sGXbAjuQ
於是我開始拼命奔跑、拼命奔跑……444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTA3OMCEgjd
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmghFbkJtn
萬萬想不到，這一跑，竟跑出了我的第一個孩子，還有那短暫卻一生難忘的姐妹情誼……444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08sIjG32YR
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96v6yXtmZt
這是一個很短、很短的故事，如果您允許的話，請容我用旁觀者的角度，向您娓娓道來吧。