For two years, I still yearn to hold your sweet face, grief like it was yesterday,
I wish for one last embrace.
You were a dog,
But you were human to me,
You listened and sat
and devoted your life to me.
Never once would you eat the food anyone else served
Your lips only touched what I gave
a meal well deserved.
You were older, but loved to run and play
roll in the snow all night and day
your soft, bold curls
Your gentle honey look
Yet life had other plans
cancer didn't care what it took
I turn 16 soon, buddy
like I used to dream
But you aren't turning with me
That thought makes me want to scream.
Remember when I told you
We'd travel the world
Well, you aren't travelling with me
That thought makes me unfurl.
You were my other half,
Now I'm split in two
One is pretending I'm okay
And the other is missing you
I cry every night
These tears are so warm and sadly
I can't forgive myself
for not being there, yet you were always with me
When you needed me as badly.
I write this poem to say goodbye
Though you may never see it
If I pour everything I want to tell you in this poem
Then, good lord, so be it
and as I wrap up this plea
for you to come back to me
I'll explore the world
and continue for you
As you wait for me.
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~This poem is dedicated to my dog Bogey, who died because of cancer. He died a week before easter and was lying on his deathbed. I, who was 14, was oblivious and thought he was sick. I went to an Easter camp and got a vanilla McFlurry to share with him when I got home. At McDonald's, I got the call from my parents, and I broke down. He was what drove me through life, my protector, my fluffbutt, my baby, my friend. He had a tumor grow in his mouth, and I was forced to hold him down so we could feed blended steak and such into his mouth. He's in a better place, but he drove me out of every dark place I was in, and the one time he needed me, I wasn't there. And I was the same age, and he never left the property or made a lot of friends. So I made a promise to him that he and I would hold a big sweet 16 party for both of us, and we would travel the world. He was my hero, and I was his. I think it's pathetic to grieve over him for two years, but I can't help but feel my heart ache. This is for you, buddy~
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