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你們會如何面對失敗？ - 莉婭的一天:評價 | Penana
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你們會如何面對失敗？
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你們會如何面對失敗？
ENTRY #28
Author: Gay里基氣
Published:
Aug 8, 2024
你們會如何面對失敗？
Published:
Aug 8, 2024
ENTRY #28
莉婭的一天:評價
Author: Gay里基氣
Published:
Aug 8, 2024
1 Min Read
154 Words
No Plagiarism!nVKHccINp41IwRzZIdDIposted on PＥNAＮＡ

整本書看下來，剛開始看第一篇的時候，我還以為會寫一個小女孩在天堂大戰300回合的故事^_^、第二片看的時候才知道是寫時空輪迴的 

  真的感覺莉婭好慘、每天都要死一遍。

總的來說看下去的話 現在第八章還沒出現主線劇情，就是感覺像景物描寫 ，外貌描寫感覺寫太多了、沒有那種可以讓人引人入勝的感覺。

希望那方面能改一下。雖然說說話比較難聽，就是寫太平淡了前面。

216.73.217.15

ns216.73.217.15da2
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