An Elucidation Diegesis - Bittersweet Grief

Had I always been this empty and cold..?

"She's passing away." is what I was told.

Memories come flooding in like a tidal wave..

But happiness and pain is what they gave.

To know someone for all your life,

Then to stand there, staring at a knife...

Illness followed and took her toll..

To snuff a light out, it's what it stole.

She hated me for the man I was,

But she loved me and for what cause?

She saw me as mentally unwell,

Maybe that's what made her say it, to compel?

A faded smiling face, in my mind,

To look back at what had been more kind.

When you lose something, it hurts so bad.

That's the reason you'll feel so sad...

She loved me yet she shunned me.

But that's the problem, you see?

I have too gentle of a heart,

To say "With you, I'll have no part."

So when I heard the news...

A heavy storm began to brew.

My body grew ever so cold, so dead,

Because those were words I always dread.

Life has a funny way of making us cry,

Where almost everyone asks once, "Why?"

To think she's gone, is that a belief...

Why is this such a bittersweet grief...

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