[bgm music to read to]
473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8K68FspIOd
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxVAMKXvlb
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHB0t4OGI6
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxlghK6iEk
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfHMdXdWM7
473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNnkvZHb7v
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjuI3jOW5Z
473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaJenFsXs5
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOHFD97AS0
473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLv2II48HH
But...473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4BG1nZSyi
473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3TVB9FAMB
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXMd5xv2j8
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡricHv0TjNj
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdp80k9MdiX
Is absolutely not pathetic.473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9Tv1fzS0y
You're not garbage."473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFU47J5sTu
473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGMq7NKq99
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLo1QGdQKHf
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGfBdjjOuw
473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaT0vLCezdE
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTr67JRY15
473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsU7fmej9Co
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbKOszrSHr
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY94QAgBGaq
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvu47Zx8Anq
Your son doesn't want to get married.473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvjZoKgLNv
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KcqeJ5Wsv
473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH476eXL4v2
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6H0hA7FdId
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2BIC7NgOc
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8Pm8ylslX
I'm scared of failing, so.
473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWx1gYDLfj
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdEIMbVdL0
473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgBMBJ7p1D
Sincerely,473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlv8WXlBpdP
Your son Charlie.473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8KJne8csL
473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDgnuePUKP
P.S. Screw you sis /j.473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxzNDD43H9
473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFbXYIGCjh
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgW4AjW4Rl
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtyKVQWkmo
473Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeYyXKD6Dz
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
and then Add to home screen.