[bgm music to read to]
701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyn23iqUw3
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGm7cwglcaL
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjOijjnhnl
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOcU8kG1Ic
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVcusVcWdd
701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMisgBVKvW
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpYXdSVIQo
701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwU2tP44Zru
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7ktGgoykF
701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnZXjVoTQj
But...701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoVyIU4Pmz
701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0bQlC3ASz
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiG3XtkXqxz
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDOVf1nMUKM
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBKBUxmfS9
Is absolutely not pathetic.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkYbrNkmZ1
You're not garbage."701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0Qfp3hxmk
701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQIOhe1WaK
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStqvkDBSug
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5uQOGmiWm
701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWETl6iqsI
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJjZDPL2Hx
701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmj3SbWKXD
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7QJafIZ9R
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wwGqbVvfT
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAnMIYow2w
Your son doesn't want to get married.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvTLahdEDn
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡva8FsYA9eX
701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dlv1Gm6e1
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjsETQ2CZ0
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAGC5JpfxZ
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ehgKiXUtI
I'm scared of failing, so.
701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljFBmger9D
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiT5FWbYC3o
701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpRGdwp6vw
Sincerely,701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXeKtwRLT5
Your son Charlie.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ493qsZJYba
701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIxCjZjH24
P.S. Screw you sis /j.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0usaqwKbtm
701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PaR39H6dM
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OMkx8FG85
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CD5LkkNWo
701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gGioosQbs
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
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