[bgm music to read to]
601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2aNEVG13g
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00OoNtxRm4
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QF6PmNeN1
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXk87vD11Q
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUNbHeHM8t
601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09OdMlAOuU
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKKuoTEub6
601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfd940yezP
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyuoYJyeAp
601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWvBnaYOXv
But...601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTMMWDv5ly
601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTsu4MyAWf
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JSdO6fjvP
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyaUtd5KED
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwc4uiixXaF
Is absolutely not pathetic.601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHWJAeRheB
You're not garbage."601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmBUfUZKOy
601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzGJI7CmLd
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopvBbF1iKT
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhm3iBT8hE
601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvAP5DwA81
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTllCAkPEA4
601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7l7Heq4KaM
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTxuRnW5DE
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExREwGdidz
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVO9a8HtBBU
Your son doesn't want to get married.601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡke1M2Pzjrg
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJi4wJpNtt
601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24eTAXo2rN
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeCHAfW4Ou
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd30WpCLtly
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmAREyy3J6
I'm scared of failing, so.
601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54S76l2EWE
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTGWGbSoW2
601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUsPSl1t4u
Sincerely,601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbB2sibsnyy
Your son Charlie.601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MnZGqZTX2
601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwr87YwOeMd
P.S. Screw you sis /j.601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6y9Z64XuDe
601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPkEXSYSAs
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIl93QpnMQ
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRY0KFZYmL
601Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNR4uu9e2M
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
and then Add to home screen.