[bgm music to read to]
1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WTc6IPJ5s
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUXERy6rrM
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdAiGPshW1
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAeJ7K1KdK
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CFr8P2l2O
1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfU2MAsWQOK
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkUmHBLWAN
1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPD14jDcVSD
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGydr82zN4
1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhawCBUSZta
But...1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZ9ku03c9k
1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKEflSiQvm
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgti1O6lNn
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlrvUdWUaZ
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtTUpEXIpk
Is absolutely not pathetic.1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1cC0IxZx7
You're not garbage."1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAKWIiQCaN
1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdh4MYFoanj
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvnaKhInB7
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOb6GlWgC3a
1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALGxKKIwRW
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6QbdbtYdx
1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49zaKu9vjk
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRVMThG7J5
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cWc7C6UNh
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWWvdrkTap
Your son doesn't want to get married.1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8Jb8aCQJo
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1kvjVAG4B
1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ogchLSJwu
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaDsVsNF0S
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gXqibgsMb
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Q754Jl3uS
I'm scared of failing, so.
1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesYzM4quz7
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNcv5n9yF5
1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJn3vobiwQj
Sincerely,1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6J3cG7BNmC
Your son Charlie.1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauwCzsCVK4
1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHvydEXxwc
P.S. Screw you sis /j.1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2U4oQ3TBg
1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjR7FJvBN6
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaV9uon4TVG
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2oyUM6aVu
1189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkXJMB2PyX
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
and then Add to home screen.