[bgm music to read to]
1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9Cv30J1xh
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ818MqABFGg
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEgPIY4ef9
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszs9Zq383X
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneE90s2dcd
1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXPwHhni8B
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0k91IpMaHg
1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELCna9HLE0
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLp7hX4pSRC
1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PLHaNAqDp
But...1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6vQdim0ws
1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXoBGTiUIN
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoqIacVpIE
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrr7cXMNXX
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKw5VZireR
Is absolutely not pathetic.1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQc13UvuZX
You're not garbage."1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5N1OdvSJn
1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOHlUsncVu
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYEnpzUHYt
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Og17it75y
1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKZMNSQhdI
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrBFIolcTL
1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8VXqIKJIc
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWKkTCkNJE
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooWjeP3u3Q
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6rcSAZPVD
Your son doesn't want to get married.1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxniea0qf4s
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGT0JGVbeTk
1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HNTz8yxNl
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURWIJbCzKj
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnfQgvdPGz
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBeDQxTNjA
I'm scared of failing, so.
1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEX7ax6zyR
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9UkGG8PZW
1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QG1qySphX
Sincerely,1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3FPbYgXVI
Your son Charlie.1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tOBj77ZrD
1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Q7VRS1ZZw
P.S. Screw you sis /j.1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsvH2wMesZ
1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxMYRXmOrb
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdAbS5UrD0
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeFj0fU0r4
1144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfq0fcJdXj
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
and then Add to home screen.