天亮，上班。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQePwzakAFs
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHHEmvJAhV
擠進人山人海的車廂，心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物，我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟，好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4ZLADYXSx
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ucEUj6UAa
車廂一如往常，平穩中帶輕微搖晃，教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲，繼續進食，令人側目。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ktU5wCkIN
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZKhVhs0FL
食物的細碎，像沙子一樣，在人們毫不注意的情況下，悄然掉在地上，再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站，人們再肆意加以踐踏，令碎粉再度粉碎。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbD6q4jiehp
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITOBKUezbQ
到站了，我有意無意地繞過人羣，「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉，心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上，我回頭望進車廂，想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉，但列車經已開駛。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARUQ2fo7uy
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uHEcwgoFT
看不見，罷。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFhLwf0MVO
天黑，下班。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYPFaykyTz
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwU14FBv8pX
身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂，繼續講上司的壞話。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglUgEEYEFi
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Dt6TMiQc9
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pUbQp9Vtc
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR73UVcOkLH
我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不！有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰？我看不見……我不想看見……234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoDqLkR0B7
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT29ZxzamOp
「啪」的一聲，男同事一手拍在我的小腿上，那隻螞蟻——扁了。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoF13JsGrCE
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoe8lvZW29
「沒事了！」他笑了笑，問我：「你很怕小昆蟲？」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QBJTit7gM
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmK1Ok9XvB1
「不，只是怕蟻。」我感覺到，我的唇還在顫抖，但卻仍勉力一笑。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xVVGrmTH1
公司，午飯時間。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDYtBBps5f
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9TzqvczZm
甲小姐正在上網看劇；乙先生在打盹；丙小姐外出吃飯去；丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒；戊小姐……234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOR9wBPJmL
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmGJPsAEE3
看著同事們的百態，我突然覺得自己和他們一樣，都是很渺小的生命體，小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事，尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌，不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎？那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別？234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXQlnGM5uX
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Nei8b4YfQ
驀地，我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過，卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上，讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失，我感到自己也消失了似的。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa13UdVLOt5
其實，真正的我只是一隻螞蟻，不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己變成人類，過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活，是有目的的付出，有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑，多奢侈！無他，這就是意義。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjqyX5V7qU
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZZfNW1JuA
還是……234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgtylOyRMf
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZJgJl7UGo
其實，真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己是一隻蟻，過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味，只懂一味尋找食物。無他，這就是生存！234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYOQxhjReR
公司，工作。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OFHpC1j5P
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVALBOfdWHk
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJsEt2tKSu
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELpiy0NKEA
大家心知犯錯的不是我，奈何人是怕事的，只好把我推上斷頭台。事後，一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCNop7zDqR
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaj8SDehFrx
很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVHe2SOVrF
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgaBZkOdEk
剛巧，一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbKVJ5VgAi
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkz66BHRe2
快意，笑了。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydUr95RE5u
酒吧，喝酒。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybeHloHZPA
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqKDsZlI4l
「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎？為何現在也怕酒起來？」男同事笑問。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLYUJ5ttDs
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbi1Lg20z1q
「其實，我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSs6st428bZ
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWpV5cwWU0
「還是……你根本不會喝酒？」他哈哈大笑。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEp7Vdomr4
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bntPPo18J
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲，我突然變得不大抗拒，乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKefx7mvbFA
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhaMtRcUgD
醉倒。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEGjGzLCk3
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CpSRMHtlK
迷糊間，我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體，不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲，想要到它的洞穴去……234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBUhQT5src
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QkJYOKiah
「上天取走你的一扇門，定會留給你一扇窗。」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfYpiMU0IY
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPQofK4e5L
今趟，上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZ5lfqfxwi
假期，醫院。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFVVxiF1t2
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSZDcsqfMm
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病，還未明確，因為報告要待下星期才會完成。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzm4IS7oXXI
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYxSlVFjh7
看見媽的時候，家中各人都是淚眼漣漣，很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobr7O44D4O
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zHoZRQLFq
「我覺得……」近幾天，媽的話都變得斷斷續續：「自己……」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Uba7SMKwM
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2Ep27KuFn
大家都屏息靜氣，深怕這是她的最後一句話。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNmuK0Basr
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupLfzoW0iT
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音，輕如柔絲，但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YZfaoa20F
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pWAlctWee
死寂。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUpbtkZrfL
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yS0C6EAOm
出乎我意料，這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話，不論是肉體還是心靈上。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHb90pSSEFH
回家，晚飯。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJy9YQ2hmf9
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYuDaiwaDR
一枱六椅，異常的沉默。電視的聲浪，掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意，繼續吃。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFlE6Wo8RN
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uSy4bYN0J
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子：「不如外出吃飯。」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IOYVcI4fq
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9k5aOJ3jYo
妹放下筷子衝進房內，甩門；姨低下頭來，但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見；婆呆了，眼眶紅潤；我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4kfzeivHS
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Bw1n9rTGh
我心想：世界末日來臨後，地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻？234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7Twg5nHCc
每次望著媽，心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣，彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjN0wEgYCBh
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhTq9KbfHv
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑！就是因為她是一隻螞蟻，所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭，去減輕她的負擔。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgkhN5wziS
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpEBQbaI8G
久而久之，我每次一見到她，便會掉頭走。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdTDMB2Lyd
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEycUY3SOaZ
但我知道，我永沒能走遠。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6AYWez8xl
男友家，床上。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHiRATJm41
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29kjOifUeJ
前奏後，男友進入極度興奮狀態，沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時，我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0laj1BmQF
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsm4rJIcV2w
産房內有一張床，床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了，是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示，她要生産了。不消一會，整張床上都是幼蟻，恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2R7fLUX1Vf
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Dm02F46oh
我驚恐萬分之際，耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音：「他朝君體也相同！」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRoxmHHeeu
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSqgyJIfCQ
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮，於是更用力……234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTRwxlH2Fg
舊生聚會，內地某酒家。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXBGQaPJK8
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpBMdjjN2e
說也奇怪，舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意，說會給我們驚喜。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2Nph1urSb
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2YtrlzwcU
「蟻宴？」我呆了，但逃不了。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbkmugpPYz
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5ntQrBSvy
「你有收看《天與地》嗎？」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaXT8qCUFW
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTklFgiY3AM
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼！」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRlaQzK4Rl
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqr6HfmXUPh
「結局何如？」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fmPjAwh8T
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP06EtLlDfT
「沒好下場！」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9e45OdkuR
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmbDMIo5YL
「對！沒好下場！」我在心裡重覆著，衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYRZPaMJKM
男友有很多恐怖的寵物：蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時，他都會放一些寵物在床邊，以增加他的性趣。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lguk5eEDb
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GuhaYgg9F
今趟，床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後，我不經意的問道：「你的寵物呢？」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOQd3knBnv
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmM6TJnJIkY
「在你體內。」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpy00Ecg5E8
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFa77TX5oL
「甚麼？」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqLiQorH0B
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByo7tawAzA
「蟻。」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZePM8Oo4w
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvcbBlGC3X
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BEeXJogCP
它平常會做甚麼？做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯，它會做的事真的很多，但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活！它最好立刻消失！234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkKGocft4M
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjrs62Tzcz
結果，我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6U5m5qfxy
靈堂上，我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrlpKcUlm5
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnS3XlozG6p
「她真的死了嗎？」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊，但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNB8JJ3Ybc
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RlTYTNxWw
「誰？」另一聲音反問。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz53DWjdv9D
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95cV7sonzm
「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道：「她……」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFm9ZUF8lY
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNM95oiUg2G
靜。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlRTCruo3U
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQcEmn3RqG
我回過神來，低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04CguD1vFg
我：「我的耳朵有毛病嗎？為何會聽到螞蟻講話？」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXQXXzorv4
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxKk2FHYOj
醫：「不。是你的壓力過大，導致有幻聽。」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCVB6pPeio
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmM6EONssFQ
我：「我有精神病？」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2gCYjdnV4
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uiVIp8s5d
醫：「是情緒病。」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayzvfzhKUE
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KTn9WzkBg
我：「怎麼辦？」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQl36ovWIIs
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrar2OHVdn
醫：「我會處方一些藥物，你要按時服用；另外，你也要多休息……」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaXIwBtSod
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCloZi8tGTP
我：「謝謝醫生。」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYp8omAx1lf
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWPEaEA9Sk
醫：「不用謝。」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gMcwJS14l
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMorpydTGQ
離開診所時，我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoq42boJ1B0
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYjGw41BDb
不，我走近細看，是「虫馬虫義」專科。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPPM6jxxqJ
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻？234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8KRIbo8rb
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKNPoynOGq
醫生替我作身體檢查，一切正常；234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42NlSIjGu9
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVLPr9eL0P
男友向我解釋，螞蟻之說，純粹幽默；234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8tpSVe0nT
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZp4VH2dRPs
同事都勸我休息，減少工作量；234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEhUb2MspS
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiiiXhsDE8
……234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyJujruauD
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEe0fQSWFRd
「真的有蟻在我體內！」我尖叫，奪門而出，從天台一躍而下，肝腦塗地。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnP7JKSXxsl
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPWhzITLAj
臨死前，我看見那東西了——不是蟻，是……
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》。若此舉違規，煩請創挑主通知，願刪文。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirHqNMlzkw
然後按「加至主畫面」