Marsy remembered being born. Soft pink light caressing their unopened eyes and the gentle pressure of their knee against their cheek, the way their hips ached a little from being folded in a tight ball. The feel of the fragile wall of their first home pressed flush to the bones of their back.
They had known when it was time. It was the first thing they had known, before they knew what knowing was. They knew to stretch and push the walls of their home. Bare feet braced on the wall, shoulders braced too, they had unfolded themselves. And as they did the rest of their brand-new body started to wake up, started to realize it had functions and purpose and needs. Their lungs had kicked, demanding to be filled. They had bucked, hitting the wall with all their finite strength and at last it had buckled, giving way to a rush of cold and air and light.
They had slopped out of their home, aware for the first time of the slime covering their body. It had slopped out too, splashing on the floor of their new home: the Leaf Place. Leaves had crunched under their skin. Air had graced their lungs for the first time, springwater fresh. Their chest had expanded, and they could have sworn they felt the way the fresh oxygen bonded with their blood, spreading it through their limbs. The sun had been too bright for their new eyes, but the burn had only lasted for a moment. After it left they had found themselves surrounded by color, by texture, by moving things and still shapes in a wonderful display that they had never known in their first home. In that first brief moment they had fallen into fascination with the Leaf Place and claimed it as their home.
Then a new feeling had taken over, a demanding one that had come from the inside. They had squirmed and reached. Scooped the slime of their old home and pushed it into their mouth to block up the inside feeling. Their sharp teeth had grazed their skin as they tucked their fingers into their mouth. More and more and more, they had to block up the inside feeling. They had scooped and scraped, and when they couldn’t get enough of it with their fingers, they had licked. Until all the slime was gone. Until they had blocked up the inside feeling. And finally, satisfied, they had folded all their gangly unpracticed limbs underneath them and risen and wandered to explore the Leaf Place.
It had been a happy time, before they had known there was a word to describe it.
Marsy’s second birth was not nearly as happy as their first birth. Their second birth was exactly like their first death, only the tar water sloughed from their frail body instead of sucking at it. And it burned.
And it burned.
And it burned.
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