My smile blooms again when I remember him, the man who secretly came to me with a warmth that is so familiar. My happiness that just disappeared, is now replenished thanks to that memory. I miss him, I hope tonight he will reappear in my short dreams.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSdwoN0AqK
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"What is it? Have you been smiling all alone?”551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhvfEOrZkx
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Some of the people sitting in front of me gave me confused looks at my attitude a while ago. My smile disappeared when I realized my stupidity, "nothing" I answered briefly.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgPCMtnjUV
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Once again I glanced out the window of this old university library building. The stretch of mini forest behind the old library building reminds me of the cold and dark forest that I always walk through with him, the mysterious man who is always there with me in my dreams.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixgwHmcf4Q
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“I have to go back, you guys just carry on yourselves.” I closed the book in my hand and grabbed my small backpack casually. "Where are you going? Our work isn't finished yet Diana,” she stared at me intently, the almond-eyed woman who always pushed me to my blind spot. “My assignment starts when you guys have finished working on it, so send me the draft when you guys have done it,” I felt a bit nervous as I said this. For the first time, I was openly against it.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6vMXYMJN3
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Bianca, that's a call from a fox woman who always takes advantage. I hate him more than anything, even I hate myself. Even though I knew I was being fooled by him, I was too cowardly at that time to fight back and refuse all his requests. However, this time I had courage thanks to him, the man I called 'Sean'.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc67V5sskDx
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My feet just stepped away leaving Bianca who was looking at me intently as if she was going to make a hole in my body with her eyes. To be honest, there was a strange feeling that came out of my heart when I opposed him, like the feeling that I was cool and awesome.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfCAU6VFjC
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"Hahaha.. Diana, you made her angry." I chuckled as I brought my motorbike out of the library area.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkvvBfXqjz
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My college life was not at all like the youth novels I often read. Falling in love with seniors, sweet conflict because of jealousy and worries just because messages are not returned, I have never felt it at all. Around me, I saw many dramas about campus romance that were very, very different from the sweet novels sold in the market.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCCAlBUcuD
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Symbiosis-mutualism, that's an apt description for the love life in the university world. Love will absolutely not be able to bloom properly while here, even if there is truly sincere love, only 1% of the current student population at my university.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEe0u6WPfBm
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"Wanna go home Diana?"551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAk0zwpgBJo
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This young man who became the new security guard at gate one always harassed me every time he was about to leave the campus area. He would definitely greet and look at me with strange eyes, and every time that happened I would only reply with short, emotionless words.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVemV6cv5c
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"No," I replied simply as I walked away from him. The checkpoint always makes me lose a lot of energy.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9h72SV4FFL
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I raced my motorbike towards a place that might be popular among people who have almost the same personality as me, a reading cafe hidden behind the tall buildings in this big city. This place is like heaven for me, because this is the only place that makes me able to save a lot of energy even though I'm among many people.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzqlEoLlC9
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My feet stepped casually into the cafe area, this place is very familiar to me. I've been visiting him for two years, sitting in the same place every time and reading the same type of book every time. "Are you going to read it again?" the old lady sitting across from me asked with a warm smile.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiG9y4XH6M
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"Yes," I replied as I sat across from him.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJNg8NDjxt
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“I loved the book too, but there's too much pain in the main character,” she spoke with sad eyes, and it reminded me of a moment I may have had.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5B4Ow2AHOZ
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“The poor girl stood in the rain at night alone, staring at the door of the house that was closed for her. He could only freeze for a long time, caught in a strange shock.”551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwYqiTBYPK
The story was in the last chapter of the book I had in hand at the moment, and the part that the old lady was telling me made me feel attracted by her views on the ending of this story. “Why is he pathetic? Wasn't that man helping her in the end and making her live happily?"551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNLrPexu4s
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The old woman looked at me with eyes that were difficult for me to interpret, "what is the meaning of happiness if your soul is constrained?"551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqQefLeiCW
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“In the end the poor girl lived according to the wishes of the man, became who he wanted, and lived in a place that was ruled. There is absolutely no freedom in his life.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAASPf5UBNe
I nodded slowly, it seems that my understanding with this old woman has similarities. Love is not just a feeling or action, love is a mystery whose origin is completely unknown.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbANjqlvvAe
Several times I heard a saying about love on social media, "If you like someone because of their feelings, then it's not love but sympathy. If you like someone because of their appearance, then what you feel is not love but obsession. Then, when you like someone because of their mysterious attitude, then that's called being curious. If you like someone at first sight, then your liking is called passion. However, if you like someone without being able to explain it, then that is love. Because love can't be described with a stupid reason that is considered as a possible trigger." Maybe, now I can start to understand my feelings for him.
“When I have feelings for someone I have never met, then what kind of feelings do I have?” my eyebrows always raise one side when waiting for an answer that I really want to hear, making the old woman chuckle when she sees it.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqtrtQyhWH
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"Impressed,"551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XK3u5iqgm
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“Just like that poor girl, she really, really admired the man who always showed up to help her. Her feelings of awe were overwhelming, making her feel that that feeling must be love.”551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHoyti8hlEj
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Exactly, my guess was right. The love I once embraced for that mysterious man was awe, and now it is too. I admire him, the man I look forward to every night with a beating heart.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMO7tk2HKO
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As soon as the sun began to hide from its high place, I decided to turn back. My mind is still afraid of the things I have believed in, but I try to push away my feelings by staring at the fact that the man I like only exists in the subconscious and will never appear in the real world forever.551Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDSj5rin6R
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Yes, that was my intention at first. However, the plans of that ridiculous willpower collapsed the moment I saw him face to face, the man who always appeared in my dreams. The mysterious man who is now standing right in front of me with a beautiful smile, and subtle eyes.
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