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白夜優晞
#1
這裡是淺雪neko,小小的雜魚,求關注閱讀文章,白喵會努力的~大家多多指教。
6 years ago
奇諾
@白夜優晞, 請多指教 我也只是個鹹魚w 也寫了鹹魚小說
6 years ago
嚮往國度
@奇諾, 光介紹就有某部輕小說的既視感XDDDD
6 years ago
嚮往國度
@奇諾, 剛看完囉。建議回頭去排版一下,有少部份亂掉了-#- 不過那張圖我看不見,不知道是超連結的問題還是我這邊看不見呢。
6 years ago
嚮往國度
@白夜優晞, 妳的關於哥哥是魔王這件事?!我看嚕。先建議妳注意的事情是.................一般來說,登場的角色,作者"通常"用三種方式讓我們漸漸去了解,一是襯托,用其它角色描述該角色,二是作者直接描述讓我們理解,三是讓角色隨著劇情發展時,慢慢寫出性格與理念。
你的屬於第三。第三種大略需要"拿捏"劇情節奏發展以及角色的特性,越快讓我們認識角色越好。因為一個故事如果看了半天,還看不出角色的魅力,吸引力便隨之降低。
為什麼我會這麼說呢~這部份是妳較不擅常的部份:
因為你的幕與幕之間,(也就是每個章節),並沒有產生"核心"劇情,而是讓劇情刷刷刷快速走過呢。
不過,優點部份,你有做到讓讀者想像出畫面,隨著妳的文筆成長,這些畫風想必會更豐盛呢,期待你的後續
6 years ago
白夜優晞
@嚮往國度, 好的,我會留意的,謝謝><
6 years ago
奇諾
@嚮往國度, 哈哈…因為 原本就是看了某部小說才… 話說回來 哪個章節亂掉了?
6 years ago
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你的屬於第三。第三種大略需要"拿捏"劇情節奏發展以及角色的特性,越快讓我們認識角色越好。因為一個故事如果看了半天,還看不出角色的魅力,吸引力便隨之降低。
為什麼我會這麼說呢~這部份是妳較不擅常的部份:
因為你的幕與幕之間,(也就是每個章節),並沒有產生"核心"劇情,而是讓劇情刷刷刷快速走過呢。
不過,優點部份,你有做到讓讀者想像出畫面,隨著妳的文筆成長,這些畫風想必會更豐盛呢,期待你的後續