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請各位大大給我的作品評論 - 台灣交流論壇-以文會友 豐富你我 | Penana
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請各位大大給我的作品評論
季痕
#1
我是新手,不知道自己寫的是否很好,可否請各位大大幫忙我看看?如果可以,可以給我一點指教嗎?謝謝!不方便的話也沒關係的......
7 years ago
Reply
星歿
@季痕, 哦哦好像有希臘神話的味道(×)我也是寫神話的( ˊ∇ˋ)ノ
對話方面.......基本上沒問題,不過你可以多描述些周遭環境,不然只有對話會給人一種.......平面的感覺(?)
抱歉,本人是很不擅幫人評文😂
7 years ago
Reply
斟墨客 。 迷
#2
不要用~~~吧!
(對不起我是標點控,and標點強迫症
人物一下子給太多了,可以慢慢來,覺得有點兒會搞混。
再來和小歿歿說的一樣,描寫一下環境吧,不然感覺,「現在在哪啊啊啊!!!」切入的有些突然,感覺少了一段之類的。
以上是小女子的拙見。
最後問一句,全部都是主角ㄇ?
7 years ago
Reply
錫日
#3
如上,建議文章內不要用~和()
曾經看過一的超多!的文,語氣無法忍受
7 years ago
Reply
斟墨客 。 迷
#4
對了還有雙引號「「 」」貌似很少人會用這個方法,若要表示二人以上同時說話,建議用文字補述
7 years ago
Reply
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對話方面.......基本上沒問題,不過你可以多描述些周遭環境,不然只有對話會給人一種.......平面的感覺(?)
抱歉,本人是很不擅幫人評文😂
(對不起我是標點控,and標點強迫症
人物一下子給太多了,可以慢慢來,覺得有點兒會搞混。
再來和小歿歿說的一樣,描寫一下環境吧,不然感覺,「現在在哪啊啊啊!!!」切入的有些突然,感覺少了一段之類的。
以上是小女子的拙見。
最後問一句,全部都是主角ㄇ?
曾經看過一的超多!的文,語氣無法忍受