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寫作交流討論 | Penana
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寫作程度很像小學生
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Y2
#5
剛才看了你幾篇小說 簡約得出你幾個新人毛病
1 沒有適當分段 如果你有用手機看看自己的小說 你會發現那些字密密麻麻 看得很不舒服 建議 30-40字分段
2 不要用第二人稱寫文 如果你是新人 請正常的用第三人稱 第一人稱
3 人物對白生硬 沒有良好的語感 簡單而言 就是讀起來很生硬 很少語氣的變換不像正常人的說話
4 過度描寫 你在描寫很多恐怖情節時 把太多筆墨花在環境的描寫 應該用簡潔的文字 描寫環境 再以懸念 渲染氣氛 例 我半夜驚醒 聽見奇怪的聲音 環觀四周 卻不見什麼在響 再看聲音來源 那裡居然是在牆壁的裡面傳來…
以上
2 years ago
石苫籽
我第二人稱的文章至多也只有兩篇,其他都是第三人稱阿
2 years ago
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1 沒有適當分段 如果你有用手機看看自己的小說 你會發現那些字密密麻麻 看得很不舒服 建議 30-40字分段
2 不要用第二人稱寫文 如果你是新人 請正常的用第三人稱 第一人稱
3 人物對白生硬 沒有良好的語感 簡單而言 就是讀起來很生硬 很少語氣的變換不像正常人的說話
4 過度描寫 你在描寫很多恐怖情節時 把太多筆墨花在環境的描寫 應該用簡潔的文字 描寫環境 再以懸念 渲染氣氛 例 我半夜驚醒 聽見奇怪的聲音 環觀四周 卻不見什麼在響 再看聲音來源 那裡居然是在牆壁的裡面傳來…
以上