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台灣交流論壇-以文會友 豐富你我 | Penana
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台灣交流論壇-以文會友 豐富你我
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請各位大大給我的作品評論
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斟墨客 。 迷
#2
不要用~~~吧!
(對不起我是標點控,and標點強迫症
人物一下子給太多了,可以慢慢來,覺得有點兒會搞混。
再來和小歿歿說的一樣,描寫一下環境吧,不然感覺,「現在在哪啊啊啊!!!」切入的有些突然,感覺少了一段之類的。
以上是小女子的拙見。
最後問一句,全部都是主角ㄇ?
7 years ago
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(對不起我是標點控,and標點強迫症
人物一下子給太多了,可以慢慢來,覺得有點兒會搞混。
再來和小歿歿說的一樣,描寫一下環境吧,不然感覺,「現在在哪啊啊啊!!!」切入的有些突然,感覺少了一段之類的。
以上是小女子的拙見。
最後問一句,全部都是主角ㄇ?