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求指點>///< - 新手介紹、宣傳、及故事推薦 | Penana
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求指點>///<
遙魂
#2
哈囉,你的文真的不錯
6 years ago
Reply
如夢似幻*(至冬)夢之彼
#3
好羨慕...我國中文筆比國小還爛...TAT
6 years ago
Reply
楓星
#4
很不錯的作品呢,整個故事架構可以參考航海王,雖然是卡通卻有很多部分值得學習,例如大媽篇主角的夥伴被香吉士被敵人帶走強制通婚,主角魯夫和其他夥伴們卻不顧一切的想拯救他,這也可以套用在少女小說上,來證明主角和配角的友情,也可以適時加入新腳色喔,如果再加入一點幽默整體的感覺會更好,我很多文章甚至是考試的作文都是從航海王的劇情學來的呢,不過航海王號稱史上最會拖劇情的動漫,所以直接去維基百科看劇情摘要的話會快很多,希望對你有幫助
6 years ago
Reply
阿雀
#5
你的文筆不錯喔,但是有些位置看得一頭霧水,例如為甚麼有神獸或是既然神獸是惡的,為甚麼會被叫作「神」?幽界是甚麼?不過劇情我很期待的說~
6 years ago
Reply
阿雀
@彩萌, 好喔好喔,你要加油。不過我覺得應該用劇情解釋啦
6 years ago
Reply
阿雀
@彩萌, 嗯嗯
6 years ago
Reply
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